I've said it before, I don't really like slasher flicks that much, but I trust Mario Bava! And bigger than anything, this here "Honeymoon Hatchet" jumps right out of the box, with blades a gleaming, interspersed with wacky psychedelic arty scenes, and Mr. Bava almost lost me, but by the time I got to the end I was quite surprised to find myself laughing, alot!!!
Psychomaniac John Harrington killed something like five brides before this movie even got started!! He is portryed perfectly insane by Stephan Forsyth!
This film would be the last straw in Stephen Forsyth's acting career! I think by the time we get to the end of this, you'll know why!
Yes, there's a killer on the loose, and all the mayhem is happening to the music of one Sante Maria Romitelli, a man whose career ran the gamut from "Love Hungry Girls" to "God's Gun" and back again!
Let's start with the fact that John inherited his mother's bridal gown business! Now that's macho!
And John can always find solace somewhere!
John is big and rich enough to own his own crematorium, which is very helpful when you have a lot of dead bodies to dispose of!
Cut to the next morning toast burning scene, and John's wife Mildred says, "Do you smell something burning?"
And speaking of Mildred, here's the nagging bitch right now! Mildred Harrington was played by Laura Betti fairly early in her career! She went on to work up into the 2000's until her death in 2004. Interestingly enough, Laura started her career as a jazz singer!
So it seems John's had enough of killing other people's wives, now it's time to kill his own!!!
When John busts out in the bridal veil with the meat cleaver, you know he's gone too far!! It's starting to make "The Shining" look like "Sesame Street!"
All Mildred's bloody screaming got some attention, and Jesús Puente as Inspector Russell shows uo to see what's going down! Too bad he never looked up!!!
And why? Becasue John's excuse for the screaming was he was watching a Horror movie! The movie just happened to be one of Mario Bava's earlier films, "Black Sabbath" starring our hero Boris Karloff!!
So with Mildred gone, John can just about dress any way he wants to!!
But is she really dead? Mildred is looking dead on dressed in black!!
Mildred questions John's choice of velour at a time like this!
This is where it starts getting fun! When John is alone, he sometimes sees his dead wife, but when he's out in public, he doesn't see her, but the other people do!! What better time for some classic 70's music!
Mildred was bugging John more dead than when she was alive, so he figured he'd cremate her remains, and that would take care of it! So he carries the bag around and goes to the local bar, and orders a whiskey, and when the waiter comes back, he has John's whiskey, and a sherry for the lady!!!
Mildred just sits there, minding her own business, like nothing happened at all when John tries to pick up on this chick, and starts going on about doing it in front of his wife!!
The bouncers unceremoniuously toss John out on his ear for being a pervert, and one yells out to him, "Here's your bag!"
Cremating her didn't work, so John figures he'll toss the ashes, and that should do the trick, but no cigar!
Back in John's private world, you start getting the feeling that maybe his problems go back farther than we know about!
Inspector Russell finally busts John and takes him off in the paddy wagon, but he doesn't care anymore, as long as he is finally away from his wife.....
...But guess what? That ain't gonna happen!!!Have a nice forever John, at least you'll never ever have to worry about being alone!!! Isn't that comforting??? Thanx Mario!!!