Saturday, December 8, 2018

SPASMS - "Death Bite" (1983)

 Sometimes all you can do is say "Wow!" and that's how I feel about this Saturday Night Special feature presentation from down deep in the bowels of "The Dungeon!

This thing is called "Spasms" and like "Wild Thing," it is a Canadian project! An alternate title is "Death Bite." It's about a giant snake with a bite so vicious, that people on the island and other religious groups actually think it's the Devil! The snake's bite is so horrific that in a matter of minutes, a victim will swell up into a bloated mess and eventually just blow apart!

"Spasms" stars Oliver Reed and Peter Fonda, and that's basically the best thing about it!
Oliver Reed's character shares something unexplainable with the snake. It killed his brother, and he now sometimes sees through the snake's eyes. Peter Fonda's character is a Doctor who is supposed to figure it all out. Good luck with that!

Personally, for me Oliver Reed can do no harm! He could just sit in a room and stare, and I'd still find him interesting, and it's a good thing, because that's what he does a lot in "Spasms." 

Peter Fonda is also always fun to watch on the big screen, but for completely different reasons!

Kerrie Keane is Oliver Reed's character, Jason Kincaid's niece. It's slightly odd that Kerrie's first big screen appearance was in "The Incubus" where she played Laura Kincaid!

The side story is there's a serpent worshiping religious cult who also wants the snake!

Al (The Clown Murders) Waxman is the phoney baloney shyster who says he can deliver the snake to the cult! He's an idiot!

This is just a cool portrait of Oliver Reed I had to include!

Jason Kincaid is nuts! He had the snake brought to America. Of course it gets out and goes on a killing rampage and he sees the whole thing!

I'm pretty sure that in every movie Peter Fonda is in, he gets to choose what his character wears, and what kind of vehicle he drives!

A fairly sizable chunk of the film is spent looking at the world from the view of the snake!

This is what the snake saw when this stupid guy from the church opens the box and lets it escape!

The stupidest part of the movie is after the snake kills a couple of people and exists the building, Peter Fonda goes looking for it knowing it will want to find a warm spot, and even though he saw dead bodies with guns couldn't stop the snake, he goes after it with a garden rake.

The snake is now on a mission to kill every female extra on the set!

This one he manages to chase into a bathroom where her blonde room mate is conveniently taking a shower!

We also see a lot of the surrounding countryside through the snake's eyes!

In fact you never see anything but a blur of the snake until the closing minutes

It wasn't even easy to get these shots. Too bad, because the snake actually looks pretty scary from these two photos!

I never saw many of these krazy 80's movies the first time around, and ones like this and "Wild Thing" can be pretty entertaining I have to admit. I didn't say good, I said entertaining, and sometimes that's just good enough!

Friday, December 7, 2018

DON'T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT / The Day The Insane Took Over The Asylum! - 1973

Today's title starts with the word 'DON'T' which made me think, what a great word to start a title, and, there are plenty of them!.. Anyway, here, Nurse Charlotte Beale arrives at the isolated Stephens Sanitarium to work, only to learn that the doctor who hired her was murdered by one of the patients! His successor though, Dr. Geraldine Masters, is not eager to take on any new staff. Charlotte finds her job maddeningly hard as the patients torment and harass her at every turn, and she soon learns why Dr. Masters wants to keep outsiders away...

Before the title card is shown though, we get to meet some of the crazy people at the asylum.

Here's a nurse keeping an eye on the inmates as they live out their weird fantasies.

Sam likes to play with his toy boat... Toot... Toot!

A lot of screaming and yelling is the order of the day around here!

And, this dude has an ax that he uses on Dr. Stephens to get things rolling along.

This thing stars Bill (CURSE OF THE SWAMP CREATURE) McGhee, Jessie Lee (PAPER MOON) Fulton, Robert (DOC HOOKER'S BUNCH) Dracup and Harryette (RHODA) Warren with a cast of lesser known actors.

Charlotte shows up after Dr. Stephens gets a sharp ax in the back, Dr. Masters runs the 'show' now and doesn't really want Charlotte to stay, but, she relinquishes...

Ax dude (he's still there and even has his ax handy at all times!) has an insane conversation with some of his inmates, a common scene in this flick.

Seems like they can all wander around and have interactions with each other. Love this flipped out scene... The guy takes the girl's top off and they kiss, she backs off and slaps him and so he starts laughing like a hyena! The movie is chock full of these kinds of nutty situations.

One of the nurses has a little heart-to-heart with the ax-master.

Man, break time!!.. We need to get a little air. Dude ruins it though.

Gawd, this room depresses me!..

And, we have piles of personal nut-job inflection filler to kill some time.

Dr. Masters gets a syringe full of her special serum and goes batty herself!

All the inmates understand that Masters has been using her experimental drug on them, and they're pissed off like a motherfucker!!

Sam comes in to find Dr. Masters in pieces, so, he grabs the ax and kills ever'bloody there!

Charlotte escapes and Sam goes back to his room and cries like a baby! There you go, another horrible ending to a movie. We're back tomorrow with more insanity... See you here!

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

WILD THING - "Asphalt Kid" (1987)

It's a Wild Thing Wednesday down in The Dungeon this week!
He's "A Loner. A Legend. A Hero!"

 The  music and the movies  of the 50's and the 60's were so great , and the early 70's were good, but by the time we got to the 80's, it was anything goes! Whether that was a good or a bad thing, only time will tell! "Wild Thing" is a pretty damn fine example!

"Wild Thing" starts off in a hippie van in 1969!

Some street thugs off this young couple in the van, and their son just happened to witness the whole gruesome ordeal! There's your story!

The worst part is this stupid dirty cop was also in on the dastardly deed!! These two chickenshit bastards are Maury (Def-Con 4) Chaykin as the bad cop who will go on to be the bad Chief of Police, and Robert (Gangster Wars) Davi as Chopper who ends up being a local kingpin!

The little boy escapes by jumping in a river, and they think he drowned, but instead he's taken in by a street lady who teaches him about the evil blue coats and white coats!

The lady dies and the kid grows up roaming the streets like a feral cat!

The kid eventually becomes a local legend! Everybody's heard about him, but few have actually seen him in the flesh!

Kathleen (Twilight Zone: The Movie, The Hills Have Eyes, Apollo 13) Quinlan is Jane! Imagine that!

The mostly mute Tarzanesque young man and Jane's paths cross a number of times, and he finds himself having feelings for her that he has never experienced before!

Chopper reading GQ magazine gives you a good idea of the kind of humor infused into this film written by John Sayles, who among many other things, also wrote "The Brother From Another Planet!"

The legend of the "Wild Thing" becomes reality when he is forced to become visible to save Jane from the street punks!

He saves a gal from a fire, and almost loses his life in the process, and is taken into custody! "Wild Thing" was played by Robert Knepper, who has been quite busy for many years now, and has played everybody from Robert F. Kennedy to Frank Sinatra to William 'Clock King' Tockman!

Beware of the white coats she said!

The jig is up, and now Chopper and the Police Chief know that the kid they thought was dead is indeded the notorious "Wild Thing," and he's got their number!

I just like this shot because when I think "Light Lunch," I sure wouldn't consider Spaghetti, Lasagna and Pastrami!

Jane gets "Wild Thing" to talk, and they fall in love!

 Freakin' KRONOS! and Yes Virginia, they do use the song "Wild Thing" by The Troggs throughout the movie, but it doesn't sound like the original version to me, so they must have reworked it!

I sort of liked "Wild Thing," it's kind of stupid, but entertaining, and I'm pretty damn sure you've most certainly seen worse!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??