Wednesday, July 18, 2018

THE GUMBY SHOW - "The Small Planets" (1960)

Time for a hot Summer Wild and Weird Wednesday and tonight's xtra-spacial host,
 Space Gumby!

So what could be weirder than Gumby in space?
Not much, but creator Art Clokey gave it lots of tries with other Gumby Sci-Fi episodes like "Moon Trip,""Robot Rumpus," and "Space Ball!" 

"The Small Planets" was episode number 54 of "The Gumby Show," that ran off and on from 1956 to 1988 for a total of 234 episodes.

Gumby and Pokey are heading out for another adventure! This time in space.

 Pokey just does not look cool in his space helmet, maybe it's the fact that his whole head is not in it, so it looks more like a crash helmet! I don't know what he's going to do if the atmosphere where they are going is unbreathable!

The space ship lands and Gumby goes out to take a look around!

On the first small planet, they do not get a warm greeting. For some reason, there are lots of bad kids in space like this little a-hole who shoots that rocket at Gumby's spaceship, and puts a hole in it even though they were leaving like he told them too!

 The second small planet besides bratty kids also has dinosaurs as a bonus terror!

 The last small planet is the weirdest!

 There's this piano playing prodigy who is fine until he makes a mistake!

 He's really got quite the temper, and you better watch out when he screws up, because he turns into this vampire thing!

 For good reason, Gumby and Pokey decide to go back where they came from!

I'm so lucky to have a bunch of Gumby VHS tapes, but for you, all you have to do is check out this YouTube link, and you can watch Gumby for free for almost forever, because Gumby is never boring!

Monday, July 16, 2018

THE BLOODY JUDGE / Horror Will Hold You Helpless! - 1970

Today we gots a wild one! Director Jess Franco brings on the insanity when the great Christopher Lee plays the Lord Chief Justice of 17th century England who condemns women as witches to further his political and sexual needs!

Besides Chris Lee, this one stars Maria (THE ODESSA FILE) Schell, Leo (THE DEATH RAY OF DR. MABUSE) Genn and Hans (X312 - FLIGHT TO HELL) Hass.

Here's the Lord Chief Justice, back in those days it was fun to dress up like a blooming fairy when you're condemning people to death, or worse!..

I wouldn't like to be this gal, she's about to be condemned as a witch!..

And, she's put in the dungeon along with a pile of other women. Let the fun begin!!

What man won't do to women in the name of the the lord!

The Lord Chief Justice wears his white wig when he's a figure of authority and his dark wig when he's being a horn dog after hours!

There's also a British civil war going on, creating some turmoil for those in charge.

Oh yeah, keep away from the dude who wears the mark of Satan!

For the condemned women, the humiliation just never ends!

This lady has had it with the Lord Chief Pervert, she grabs a knife and tries to stab him in the back, but, the mission fails...

Well, well, well, it's found out what the Lord Chief Justice has been up to and he's put in a cell to await his hanging...

As he watches the scene below, he sees the men let the hanged man down, then sadistically go at his neck with an ax! That's enough for the X-Lord and he dies from a heart attack before he ends up being the guy down there with those crazy henchmen!

Yow, what an ending!.. So, like, check in again Wednesday when Eegah!! has a fun post for you!

Saturday, July 14, 2018

TERMINATOR II (SHOCKING DARK) - "Contaminator Alienators" (1989)

Tonight's Saturday Night Special from 1989 is titled "Shocking Dark!" Why is it called "Shocking Dark" you might ask, and the answer is.....

The actual original title was "Terminator II," and that just wasn't going to fly! Arnie's first "Terminator" movie was released in 1984, and they obviously had planned a sequel, and this wasn't it, nor does it have anything to do with that movie!

Just like this wasn't a "Terminator" sequel, there is also nobody named Vincent Dawn. Bruno Mattei is the Director of the film in the guise of Vincent Dawn, As far as I can tell, Bruno never used his real name as Director, and if he wasn't Vincent Dawn, then he was Pierre Le Blanc, or David hunt, or Martin Miller, or William Snyder, or Herik Montgomery, or Frank Klox, or David Graham, or Michael Cardoso, or Bob Hunter, or Gilbert Roussel, or Stefan Oblowsky, or Jimmy Matheus, or maybe Jordan B. Matthews!

For release in the U.S., they had to change the name to something else besides "Terminator II"  so they chose "Shocking Dark" for some reason.

The future Venice, Italy is not a pretty place!

Can somebody get me out of here??

In a maze of underground madness beneath a polluted sea, there is a crew that is calling out for help! Something has gone wrong, and they want the Hell out!

Send in the 'A' Team! 
(No, not the TV show guys, but the best the future has to offer!)

The first thing they encounter is this krazy guy!

Then shit starts going sideways!

 This is not going to be their lucky day!

A nostalgic look at the beautiful and romantic Venice of the past!

It really should have been "Totally Tubular Corporation!"

Meanwhile, back at the ranch!
 "What do you mean, there are monsters?" "Yeah, two cheeseburgers, and a small pizza to go!"

The monsters are a bunch of genetically morphological out of control freaks! There is no reason to know why they exist, what they are, or where they are going! They're just freakin' monsters!

There's more than one way to look at this situation!

Not exactly original, but effective!

Oh, Yeah, and there's lots of pumped up action like this!

There's lots of these mean ole monsters, and they're all the same but different!

Running down tunnels, hallways,and corridors, and away from the monsters is a key plot element!

"Contaminator" gets my vote for coolest alternate title, but the Japanese title "Alienators" is not bad either! So I think you got it, this is not a movie to take seriously on any level, but if you just want to spend a mindless hour and a half not having to think about anything important, this is the perfect film!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??