Saturday, November 30, 2013

DVÆRGEN - Ole Ørsted - "The Sinful Dwarf" (1973)

Thanksgiving might be over, but here's some unrefrigerated turkey leftovers for you, hope you don't  get sick, because...............

.........................."The Sinful Dwarf" is kind of like a bad case of salmonella or botulism, so just don't eat any questionable smoked salmon before you watch it!

 These shots of children's toys are not the least bit comforting, because everything is abused in this film!

The movie opens with a full grown woman playing hop scotch! Gee, do you think she just might be a little naive and immature, and will readily fall into the evil spell that "The Sinful Dwarf" casts on her. Next thing you know she's in a dirty cell with some other girls forced into a life of heroin addiction and unwilling prostitution! How much fun can you have in one movie?

 Torben Bille is "The Sinful Dwarf!"  His name is Olaf! Okay, so what else do you want to know except that you should avoid this movie like the plague! Actually, there is one other thing, the music in the movie is pretty interesting, and was created by the phenomenal Ole Ørsted! "The Sinful Dwarf" was made in Denmark, and here's an inside joke for you, this movie has an actor in it named Ted Neumann!

 This is exactly what you might want to do if you decide to view this film! Drink a whole fifth of gin! I'd drink about half of it before you even turn on the TV, and then consume the other half during the course of this film! You might actually enjoy the movie after that!

 The best and maybe the only part of this movie worth watching is this little song and dance number put on my Olaf and his Mother, who was played by Clara Keller in her sole Film outing!

 Clara Keller performs not one, but two songs, "Cho Cho Bamba," and "The Game Of Love" in this movie!

 "The Sinful Dwarf" is a sick, twisted exploitation film, and I'm sure some people think it's freakin' fantastic, it just so happens that I'm not one of them!. I got this sucker off of Netflix, and it's hard for me to believe that out of all the movies I'd like to watch that aren't available like "Carolina Cannonball, " "Capture That Capsule," Curse Of The Moon Child," and "Good Girls Do," this turkey is! Oh, well, that's just the way it goes sometimes! Just like this movie, life ain't fair!!

Friday, November 29, 2013

SKI TROOP ATTACK / Roger Corman Productions - 1960

It's Fightin' Back Friday with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. We gots this Corman 63 minute follow up to his brother's BEAST FROM HAUNTED CAVE and stars the same group of actors, seems like being able to ski was the main requirement for both flicks. Charles B. Griffith wrote the script, Corman directs, music by Fred Katz, filmed in Deadwood, South Dakota.

Eegah!! sent over this deadly little soundclip for our earjoyment, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button there next to the glowing yellow snow, NOW, Rufus The Gnat! Here's an earfull of some... SKI TROOP ATTACK!

This WWII story goes like this... An American ski patrol has to go into enemy territory in order to blow up an important railroad bridge. Despite attacks by pursuing German troops, the inexperienced lieutenant (Michael Forest) is in constant conflict with the platoon's veteran sergeant (Frank Wolff).

Frank got the starring role in this one as the abrasive sergeant, he also had a small comedic part in THE WASP WOMAN. Michael plays the lieutenant, we can see him as a photographer in THE DEADLY MANTIS. Michael has a whopping 239 acting credits and is now filming his latest, UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!, out in 2014.

Wally Campo and Richard Sinatra both play privates, they were chums in BEAST FROM HAUNTED CAVE, too.

There's quite a bit of recovered German footage shot during the war used to help tie this thing together.

Then, they break into Frau Heinsdorf's place for refuge, and, she doesn't take too kindly to it! Sheila Carol is the Frau, you can see her along with Phyllis Coates in Jerry Warren's little weirdie, THE INCREDIBLE PETRIFIED WORLD.

She's caught putting rat poison in the food she's preparing for the troopers.

She's shot dead by Frank when she draws a pistol she had hidden!

Roger Corman shows up as the German soldier who finds the Frau laying dead on the floor, so, he knows the American troopers can't be that far from there.

If you ever wanted to know what Deadwood, South Dakota, looks like in the winter, welp, here ya go!.. Pretty cool!

Remember, the troopers are there to blow up this important bridge used by the Germans for troop and equipment transport.

It's just a matter of minutes before the bridge is destroyed, taking a train out with it!

Faw down an' go... BOOM!!

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

SON OF DRACULA - Harry Nilsson - "You Can Jump Into The Fire But You'll Never Be Free" (1974)

"Son Of Dracula" is a sad movie, not bad, not good, but a turkey no doubt! If they thought they were making a funny movie, they failed, and if it's supposed to be a serious vampire film, then they failed too!

It seems Ringo wanted to make movies, so what could be better than to have fun, make a movie, and promote your buddy Harry Nilsson at the same time! Too bad it didn't work out that way even though it was directed by Dungeon Super Fave, Freddie Francis!

The 70's were the end of an era for a band called The Beatles! Their last two Billboard Top 100 charted songs were in 1970, "Let It Be,"  and "The Long And Winding Road! The same year, the boys started going out on there own, John Lennon had a top 100 hit with "Instant Karma," and then the following year, George Harrison charted with "My Sweet Lord," Ringo Starr was in the top 100 with "It Don't Come Easy," and Paul McCartney had two less than stunning top 100 hits, "Uncle Albert" and "Another Day!"

In 1972, none of The Beatles charted in the top 100, but Harry Nilsson was in fine form with two hits in the top 100, "Without You," and Coconut!" In 1973 Paul McCartney bounced back with Wings on the hits "My Love" and "Live And Let Die!" In 1974 when this film was made Paul McCartney charted again with "Band On The Run" and "Jet," and Ringo had two more hits with "Sweet Sixteen," and "Oh My My!" It seemed like these guys just couldn't do anything wrong....................but........

.............."Son Of Dracula" proved otherwise!!!

At least they went with the classic "Nosferatu" type of vampire as Dracula!

But..................Ringo Starr as Merlin the Magician! I think that just might have been the straw that broke the camel's back! If the way he looks isn't bad enough, then you've got to know that Ringo has a very recognizable voice, and trust me, it's not the voice of Merlin the Magician! I think that's where the problems begin, and even Ringo agrees that this isn't a very good movie!

One hundred years later, I don't know, what? A child is born, and his name is Count Downe!!

Blast Off!! Dracula is young and looks like Harry Nilsson, and for some reason it looks like his fangs are too close together, like kind of a hillbilly vampire!

Merlin's got the whole thing figured out, the planets are aligned, the celestial hubcaps are all polished, and it's time for the Son Of Dracula to be crowned King of the Underworld!!

"London Calling" circa 1974!

Harry Nilsson performs no less than 7 songs in the movie, and one of them is one of my personal favourite songs of all time, "Jump Into The Fire!" Here's just a taste of the the peripheral mood music by Paul Buckmaster that was used in between Harry's songs! It's pretty intriguing in itself!

Frankenstein and The Wolf Man  along with Lady Dracula are all  invited to to the big coronation!!

Here's the big problem! Count Downe's a nice guy, a musician, and he wants to be normal! He doesn't want to be King of the freakin' evil universe! He wants to hold hands and recite poetry!

 The various band members are some of the finest rock musicians of the time, or any time, really! You've got bassists Klaus Voorman and Herbie Flowers, guitars by Peter Frampton and Chris Spedding, drums pounded by Ringo, John Bonham, Keith Moon, Jim Gordon and Jim Keltner, keyboards by Harry Nilsson and  Nicky Hopkins, and horns by Jim Price and Bobby Keys, and somewhere in there are George Harrison, John Uribe, Jimmy Webb, Leon Russell and Ray Cooper! That is a truly amazing array of talent!

Count Downe's transition into a bat was uniquely different compared to vampires of the past!

The big netherworld inauguration is broken up via a giant cross skylight, and Count Downe gets to live happily ever after with his girlfriend! As far as I know, this movie was never released on DVD. You can thank Professor Grewbeard, wherever he is, for giving me a chance to see it!

More weirdness! Only one song on the album "Son Of Schmilsson" was performed in this film, but this record does have one other classic cut on it, "You're Breaking My Heart (So Fuck You)!"  To hear the studio versions of the songs in this movie, you will need to get "Nilsson Schmilsson," and all of Nilsson's work is avalable at Amazon!

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