Wednesday, June 20, 2018

THE PIT - "Teddy" (1981)

"The Pit!" weird, but not really in a good way! Welcome to another Weirdass Wednesday in The Dungeon! You might want to tighten up your straitjacket a notch for this one!

In this Canadian film, they can't figure out if the story is about a 12 year old pervert, or a bunch of troglodyte monsters living in a hole! It's from 1981, but looks like 1970, and seriously WTF!?

 Tomorrow's the first day of Summer 2018, so who needs the weekend, let's get this party started!

 Everybody's going to be there!

Sammy Snyders is Jamie Benjamin, a distracted kid with an overzealous libido! Sammy was Tom Sawyer in a 1980 TV series for 26 episodes, and he made one more appearance after "The Pit" and never looked back!

Jamie Benjamin is a twisted little kid who can't seem to get women off of his mind!

He does cutouts from nude art books he gets from the library, and pastes the faces of ladies he knows on them!

Jamie's parents are going out of town, and when the new babysitter comes over to have a meal, Jamie drops his napkin, just so he can get this view!

Oh yeah, and his best friend is this toy bear with the original name Teddy, and the reason for the alternative title of this movie! They actually converse, and Teddy has a dirty mind too!

Besides acting, Jeannie Elias as Sandy the gullible babysitter, has been busy for some 30+ years doing cartoon and video game voices. She was Margaret on 78 episodes of "Dennis the Menace," and her voice credits go everywhere imaginable from Princess Toadstool to Pugsley Addams! Sandy drives Jamie crazy, and he thinks he's in love with her. Her dressing like this when she goes to check on him doesn't help matters much!

Wow! I forgot all about those two tone Webers!

But wait, this movie is called "The Pit," not the little pervert, so where's the pit? Is it an olive pit, or an arm pit, or maybe Brad Pitt? Oh, here it is, a hole out in the forest somewhere that's gotta smell like something that rhymes with spit!

Pretty dang nice looking Chevy ragtop!

Jamie's back up to his tricks again!

After Jamie discovers the hungry critters down in the hole, and then finds out they like meat, he starts stealing Sandy's money and going to the butcher shop to buy meat for them and tossing it down into the pit! When he runs out of money, he tries to steal this cow!

Sometimes, "The Pit" is almost slapstick, like when the pervert kid is wheeling the Grannie in her wheelchair out to the pit to feed the little buggers. It's like "The Little Shop Of Horrors" meets "The Keystone Kops!" "The Pit" takes more than a little bit from "The Little Shop Of Horrors" as it's a story about monsters with an insatiable taste for meat and a lamebrain's efforts to feed them, and that's where all the murder and mayhem begins!

Jamie's pushing everybody he doesn't like into the pit, and then Sandy falls in accidentally. After that all the monsters escape and go on a rampage through the country leaving a trail of bodies like this!

Like really none of it makes one iota of sense!

The monsters are chased back into the hole, and.....

.......The local townspeople take care of the rest of the cleanup business!

I always try to give people credit just for trying, but it's pretty difficult for me to do with "The Pit!" Besides everything else, "The Pit" is agonizingly slow at times! It's 96 minutes long, but I'm sure if they just cut out about an hour and a half, it wouldn't be half bad!

Monday, June 18, 2018

LIGHTS OUT: Will-O'-The-Wisp / Season 4 Episode 6 - 1951

Time to turn the Lights Out!.. Today's tale's about Mr. Corbeau, he wants to turn the pristine Beware Island into a gambling destination. His plans for building a connecting bridge to the natural paradise are continually delayed, and, his engineers all fall from the island's cliffs, led there by by a spirit, the Will-O'-The-Wisp! So, his greedy daughter, Marina, tries to manipulate her ex-fiancé into designing the bridge.

This episode stars Robert Stack as Ian Garth, Pat Browning as Marina, Harry Worth as Mr. Corbeau, Ruth White as Mrs. Patchin and Louanna Gardner as Will-O'-The-Wisp.

And, here's our creepy host and narrator, Frank Gallop, as he introduces the story before all the lights go out...

Here are Mr. Corbeau and his daughter, Marina, they love money. Pops wants to build a bridge to pristine Beware Island (great name) and build a casino there, even with the deaths involved.

Ian Garth, bridge designer, is called back to reconsider the project, he has already turned it down because of his personal beliefs about keeping the island the way it is. Also, because of that, he and Marina called off their engagement.

Marina tells Ian she wants him back, he accepts and agrees to go to the island with her for a visit. After Ian leaves, Marina takes the contract and assures her dad that she will get Ian to sign it before they return.

At the island, Ian and Marina stay with Mrs. Patchin, and there's a mysterious mute girl that she takes care of living there.

Marina makes fun of the girl and touches her hair. The girl freaks out and tries to attack her, scaring the Hell out of Marina!

That's it!.. Marina takes the gloves off and fills Ian in on what's the for real haps!.. She tells him that unless pops gets his way, well, his beautiful little island will be used as a bombing site! So, he'd better sign the gott damn contract!!

So, Ian agrees...

Later that night, the girl pulls off her wig to reveal the Will-O'-The-Wisp, and then lures Marina outside to the cliffs!

Mrs. Patchin tries to stop them but they both disappear into the night...

Ian comes in just in time to watch Marina fall off the cliff to her death, bringing the story to an abrupt conclusion, and, justice it served!!

Frank gives his last words and blows the match out! Hey, we'll be back on Wednesday with who knows what?! Just for you!!

Saturday, June 16, 2018


I find it funny that as long as we've been doing this, we have no idea who most of you are, and what you know. We have a tendency to take it for granted that everybody knows about all the classic movies of the 1950's, but then I realize it's ancient history, if you're reading this and you're like 20 years old. That being said, it's pretty damn cool that anybody can watch so many classic movies for free, and there's no reason why everybody young and old shouldn't know about them!
So here's just a short list of 13 freakin' ultra-classic 50's Sci-Fi flicks that you can watch any time, and almost anywhere for free on YouTube. There is absolutely no reason in the world to ever feel bored when you have this much freedom! It was hard to choose only 13, but if you watch all of these, I'm sure you'll seek out more of them for yourself! So, in chronological order....not order of importance, here you go!



And it's in Color!

One of the swingingest soundtracks you''ll ever hear!

A couple of those links are a little bit soft, but most of them are pretty nice copies watchable on a big screen TV. There's a literal ton of more movies too. Some copies are not that great, but you can't beat the price when you get to watch something like "Attack Of The Crab Monsters" or "Invasion Of The Saucer Men" for free!!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??