Wednesday, July 30, 2014

ARRRIVA DORELLIK - Margaret Lee - "Crash-Sci-Sci-Patapum" (1967)

Well, the Wednesdays just keep getting weirder down here in the Dungeon, and this week's installment and the end of this fine month is no exception! It's called "Arrriva Dorellik" and was also released in English as "How To Kill 400 Duponts!" There's some things I don't get, like supposedly "Arrriva Dorellik" is a spoof of  "Danger:Diabolik," but "Arrriva Dorellik" was released first in October of 1967, and "Danger: Diabolik" was released in January of '68! How's that work?

Comedy is a funny thing!, or sometimes it's not! If you try too hard, it doesn't work, and there's always that fine line between funny and stupid! In my humble opionion, "Arrriva Dorellik" crosses that line, but then again, everything's subjective, you might find this movie hilarious as Hell!!

Terry Thomas as Inspector Green of Scotland Yard is a guy who without a doubt is an acquired taste, and Terry's humour, just like some recreational drugs, can make for quite the uncomfortable experience if you get too much! "Arrriva Dorellik" amounts to what might be considered an overdose at times!

Goofy, bratty Dorellik is played by Johnny Dorelli. Johnny obviously had something going on for him, he was married to the beautful actress Catherine Spaak for seven years! Just in case you didn't notice, if you combine Johnny's last name Dorelli with Diabolik, you get Dorellik! What a coincidence!

Just like Matt Helm, Dorellik is a real ladies man, and all the chicks dig him the most!

Just like Diabolik, Dorellik is a master of disguise! Here he poses as a switchboarder, and a street artiste! Personally I just think he likes to dress up in women's clothes and wear wigs!

The painting he was working on really pisses off this police officer when he sees it!!

The entrance to Dorellik's secret underground pad is pretty cool!

Agata Flori is Dorellik's secretary Charlotte! Ironically, she was in another spy farce we've got coming up soon,"Operation Kid Brother!"

The basic premise of this movie, and the reason it also sports the name "How To Kill 400 Duponts," is that Dorellik has been offered a job! For a fat paycheck, he has to kill off hundreds of heirs to the Dupont family fortune, not just one or two, but hundreds!

The more than Magnificent Margaret Lee is Dorellik's on again, off again girlfriend singer Baby Eva, and for me the movie finally became interesting when Baby Eva and the GM break into a rousing rendition of "Crash-Sci-Sci-Patapum" written by none other than Castellano-Pipolo-Nohra & Pisano! One syllable in the title for each one of the writers on the song! Crazy is right! Here's just a couple of other things I have to say about Margaret Lee: "Super Dragon Secret Agent," "Bang Bang You're Dead,", "Psycho-Circus," "Kiss The Girls And Make Them Die," "Dick Smart 2007," "Spy Pit," "OSS 117-Double Agent, and "Venus In Furs!" She's a keeper!

In an effort to make Eva jealous, Dorellik waltzes in with four ladies on his arms! He later admits he paid them!

Try as I may, I couldn't dredge up any information on The GM, but I can at least give you this good shot of the band! These guys rock!!

I was doing all right, but then it got to the part where Dorellik was disguised as an African man with a stuffed Tiger on his back that was supposed to be sedated, but alive, and that was about as much as I could take!

For no apparent reason, out of everything that is supposed to be funny in this movie, this shot cracked me up! They look like a bouquet of flowers!

I will admit that this poster or whatever the Hell it is, is funny!!

For a much better satire on "Danger: Diabolik, I suggest you check out "RATOLIK" instead!

Monday, July 28, 2014

THE MIGHTY BOOSH: 'Bollo' - BBC 2003

It's my last post in July, so, time to blow the lid off this joint!.. I love this whacked out British TV series and have all three seasons on DVD in my collection, cut is from episode 3, season 1.

Eegah!! sent over this kick ass, rockin' sound clip to freakin' amaze us, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button there by the musty old gorilla suit, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula! Here's our audio offering for... THE MIGHTY BOOSH... HIT IT!!

Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding play odd couple zoo attendants, Howard Moon and Vince Noir, they have a ton of wild, surreal adventures! Check them out if you haven't, besides the amazing sets and insane stories, the music is always very cool!

Bollo, the zoo's gorilla, is very ill and could die, Vince attends him in his time of need.

Howard's job is to fill in for Bollo. Here, the zoo manager, Bob Fossil, has a talk with Howard about his unconvincing depiction of a gorilla, the paying customers are complaining! He then tells him to put his mask back on, he's scaring the kids.

Death shows up to take Bollo back to Hell with him, but, ends up taking Howard instead for obvious reasons!

Howard has a friendly chat with Death as they cruise in space toward their destination. Howard actually takes a liking to the Grim Reaper as he gets to know him better!

Back on Earth, Bob, Vince, Bollo and others prepare to bury an empty coffin in the name of long lost Howard!

Vince seeks the aid of their guru, Naboo, who sits around all day smoking hash with his pals.

Naboo gives Vince a potion and sends him through a dimensional mirror portal to Hell...

Vince finds Howard tied up in the basement and ready to be dropped into the hot burning pit!

Vince talks The Ape Of Death into a new hair style and the results couldn't be better!

HIT IT!!..

This unholy mandrill lays down some deadly riffs as you can hear in the sound clip. As a guitarist myself, all I can say is that this tune gives me a big rockin' boner!!

There's lots of dancing and new hair styles, Hell is a fun place now, thanks to the boys!

The Ape Of Death is one happy camper, as you can see for yourself!

And, here's the magical substance that got Howard and Vince out of Hell, what else?!.. Naboo's Miracle Wax!!.. Tune in Wednesday when we'll have more crazy stuff to show and tell.

Saturday, July 26, 2014


Greg Goodsell has returned -- the film tonight in the Dungeon is THE WHITE REINDEER, Finland's most famous horror film! In spite of this cheerful poster, THE WHITE REINDEER has shape-shifting, themes of revenge, a lethal femme fatale and just a dash of vampirism thrown into the mix -- proceed at your own risk.

THE WHITE REINDEER is an unsung, elegant classic of international art horror! What is especially unsettling about this film is that a lot of it takes place in broad daylight against the white, snow-covered vistas in Lapland.

Here are the film's two lovebirds, Pirita (Mirjami Kuosmanen) and Aslak (Kalervo Nissilä). Say that ten times fast! Now, everything seems pert and hopeful, but believe you me, it all goes downhill very fast!

Aslak falls hard and fast for the charms of Pirita, the purtiest durn gal in his Lapland shepherd community -- but as we shall see -- Pirita has a dark, hidden side to her –

It turns out that she’s the illegitimate daughter of a witch who died in childbirth. In flashback, we meet her mother -- played by the same actress, taken in by those who pity her – where she gives birth and then passes away.

The two Laplanders get hitched in a boozy ceremony -- pledge their allegiance -- but if there weren't complications, there wouldn't be a movie now, would there?

Pirita waves goodbye to her beloved while he herds some reindeer to  market -- and things get might darn lonely out in snow-covered Finland!

Pirita enlists the aid of a local shaman to cast a love spell for her, but everyone knows that such backdoor deals NEVER turn out for the best! The shaman casts his "runes" -- and Pirita will get her wish -- but at a VERY heavy price!

Pirita goes to a ghastly shrine and is instructed to kill the first thing she sees -- which is, natch, a white reindeer.

She kills the poor defenseless thing! Don't worry, she'll get hers!

AHHHHHH! Pirita is transformed into the ghastly, accursed white reindeer of Finnish legend! Economically suggested by a negative of the film!

Pirita regrets her decision -- but it's too late now, sweet cheeks!

In the guise of the reindeer, Pirita lures the town’s shepherds to their deaths and drinks their blood!

Wracked with guilt, Pirita tries to undo the curse --

But -- BOO! Pirita has had a taste of blood and wants even more! The vampire fangs in this film are only glimpsed and seen twice. Do we see a hint of director Mario Bava in the lighting and composition? Mighty impressive, as Bava was a long way off from directing the year this was filmed, in 1952!

Pirita's husband begins to suspect the worst -- do we also see a hint of the angst swirling around in such features around this period such as INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, when we fear our loved ones because they are no longer what they used to be?

The couple then attend a wedding. Pirita as a newly blessed hell creature, is extremely uncomfortable. Gorgeous music heard in this scene. As I suggested to Eegah, I thought this feature would be a perfect fit for the Dungeon -- and he heartily agreed! Here's just a taste of the haunting theme!

A beautiful young woman rendered otherworldly and alienated. I see more than just a dash of Barbara Steele going on here as well. Finland is a pretty isolated country with a limited film industry, so maybe the Finns were prescient about the state of coming fantastic cinema.

After the white reindeer has killed several people, the townspeople work on weapons -- said hell beast can only be killed by "cold steel," i.e.  a spear fashioned without a furnace. The artisans in town get busy!

The hunters begin their quest to find the white reindeer as our heroine tearfully tries to hide in a snowbank!

In a last ditch attempt to reverse the curse, she returns to the shaman's house --

Too late! The evil sorcerer is as dead as a doornail! She's just going to have to ride this out to its deadly conclusion!

Transformed once again into the reindeer, Pirita leads her husband to a ravine in which he can land a fatal blow. This dovetails with some werewolf lore where the monster can only be killed by someone who loves them!

A tragic ending as Pirita dies for her transgressions and her husband is left with -- snow. Lots of it. But seriously folks, THE WHITE REINDEER calls to mind equal parts of Carl Dreyer and Igmar Bergman, as well as the future films of Canadian madman Guy Maddin! See this film at your earliest convenience.

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??