Tonight's Wild Wednesday feature is a 1951 cartoon by the master of the absurd, Tex Avery, called "Symphony In Slang."
The story here is that a hipster has died and gone to heaven, and Saint Peter at the Golden Gate can't understand what this guy is talking about!
So he escorts the hep cat over to see Noah Webster of Dictionary fame who died in 1843, to see if he can understand what this poor fellow is talking about, so he can expedite his entrance into the holy gates!
From that point on it's just a series of fast moving gags all based on slang terms, or what are, or were, every day colloquialisms, as the man describes his life in detail, right up to the very end!
These are the images going through Webster's mind as this guy's life story is spit out.
First off, he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth!
He got a job because the proprietor was short handed!
He got fired so he went back to his little hole in the wall!
He was beside himself with anger!
He went to Texas to make some dough punching cattle!
He meets a good looking gal named Mary and he's all thumbs!
Mary's clothes fit her like a glove!
She looked mighty pretty with her hair done up in a bun!
Finally, Mary gives him a date!
They go out to eat and he has a cocktail.......
.......And Mary has a Moscow Mule!
Mary let her hair down!
His check bounced and he finds himself in a pickle!
Leaving Mary behind, he runs off and hides in the foothills!
He gets sent to jail and finds himself up against it!
After going through a lot of red tape, he gets sprung from the jug!
A bunch of the boy's were hanging around at Joe's Malt Shop!
He hears through the grapevine that Mary is going around with an old flame!
Years later, when he finally gets back to Mary, she has a bunch of little ones, and he thought it was so funny, he died laughing, and that's how he ended up in heaven!
I'm really not in the mood for any violence, that is, unless The Stooges are in charge... Today we gots a great little episode where our boys get caught up in a plot to overthrow King Arthur by the Black Prince and his pal.
Besides the Stooges, we have Christine McIntyre as Princess Elaine, Jock Mahoney (look how his name's spelled on the title card!) as Cedric the Blacksmith, Philip Van Zandt as The Black Prince and Vernon Dent as King Arthur. Wowzers, what a lineup!!
So, the boys get a visit from some of the king's soldiers, they're looking for Cedric the Blacksmith because of his love for Princess Elaine. The Stooges try to kid around with the soldiers only to receive a 3-face slap from one of them before they leave.
Cedric was hiding in the back room, when he tells them his story, the Stooges ban together with the blacksmith to help him win his princess. Cedric has strong hands!
Besides getting conked in the head by Shemp, Moe also gets a mouthful of fiddle from Larry as they serenade Cedric's beloved Elaine.
But, The Black Prince hears the commotion and chases the guys away. He goes to King Arthur and tells him that some men were outside Elaine's window, serenading her. So, the king decides to put Elaine in another room and he'll sleep in her room in case they came back!
Just as the king is ready to hit the sack, he hears gravel hitting the window. He goes over, opens the window and gets hit in the head with a big rock with a love note on it...
There's still no response from Elaine so Shemp's chosen to climb the trellis to her room. After Shemp steps all over Moe's face, he gets into the room and thinks Elaine is under the covers. Shemp starts telling 'Elaine' that her dad is an ugly old sour puss, then slaps the covers hard as he cracks himself up! Needless to say, the king's getting really angry!!
Well, wouldn't you know it, Cedric and the boys end up behind bars. They are all scheduled to be beheaded by the king's executioner there, sharpening his chopper!
The boys get a going away gift from Elains, a loaf of bread that rattles when shaken. There are a chisel, a hack saw and a sledge hammer inside! So, they work away but get nowhere with their escape. As they plan their next move, the door to their cell open up. Larry says brrr, there's a cold draft coming from somewhere!
The boys get Cedric out of his cell and they vamoose the joint! You gotta throw in one of these Scooby-Doo chase scenes every now and again!
Moe ducks into a room where he overhears The Black Prince and his buddy discussing killing the king and stealing the throne, and then the prince will marry Elaine...
The boys put on armour and go to Elaine to tell her about the plot to kill her father. Elaine and the Stooges pledge their help to each other to expose the prince.
The boys find out that the recaptured Cedric is to be beheaded at the sound of the trumpets, so they toss a pile of fruit into the trumpets before they can play. The trumpeters blow with all their might until the dam breaks, the prince and his pal get sprayed with pieces of mushy fruit!
The prince is exposed and the guards take him away, for good! The king announces that Cedric and Elaine are to be wed, it's a happy time in the old kingdom!
We couldn't finish without Shemp getting hit with the biggest hunk of crap! Tune in Wednesday when Eegah!! will throw you another bone, here at The Dungeon!!..
This week's Saturday Night Special is a movie from 1960 called "Date Bait."
"Date Bait" - Kind of like a combination of Jail Bait and Date Rape 1960's style!
What the heck, the words rhyme, so it doesn't really need to make sense.
Check out the license plate, it looks like it was hand drawn! I found it interesting that both the two main guys in the movie don't drive hot rod Chevy's or Fords, but drive MG's instead.
So the kids are all down at the club having a good time when psycho drug addict Brad decides to join the party!
You know when you're just groovin' and dancin' with your girl, it's always a bummer when some weirdo asshole like Brad tries to cut in. The cute couple being hassled is Gary Clarke as Logan and Marlo (Dragstrip Riot) Ryan as Sue.
Time for big brother to show up and bail out Brad one more time!
Gary Clarke should be your hero because the three movies he was in prior to "Date Bait" were "Dragstrip Riot," "How To Make A Monster," and "Missile To The Moon." He was also a regular on the TV show "The Virginian" for 63 episodes. If I did the math right, Mr. Clarke will be 87 years old this years, and believe it or not, has a short and a TV movie in production this year.
Have you ever wondered why actors change their names? Gary Clarke is a good example. He was born Clarke Frederic Lamoreaux!
Years ago I won something like this at a Walther League meeting, but mine wasn't full of heroin!
Mine was a little cardboard box with a clown on the front that said "Jerk In The Box," and when you opened it, there was a mirror inside that exposed who the real jerk was!
And while we're on the subject of jerks, if you looked it up in the dictionary, there might be a picture of Brad as an example! Dick Gering had the role of Brad. With only 13 credits to his name, Dick was in some TV shows like "Mike Hammer," and "Alfred Hitchcock Presents."
1960's L.A. with a classic Studebaker parked out front!
Sue's parents are uptight social racists, as I like to call them. The proper term is 'Classism,' or people who are prejudiced against someone not because of race or color, but merely because of social position! In other words, they don't like their daughter Sue going out with Logan because he's from the wrong side of town, even though he drives an MG!
Brad's badass big shot brother has to sit at a midget table which doesn't make him look like such a big tough guy!
Life is pretty crappy these days but the air was literally this bad in Los Angeles back in the 1960's from smog!
There's still enough ime to cut a rug!!
Logan and Sue can't take it any more and decide to run off to Las Vegas to get married, even though they are both underage. This is not going to make her parents or psycho Brad very happy.
Sue emerges from the gas station bathroom all decked out and ready to tie the knot!
The happy couple gets hitched but can't find a place to stay because they lack I.D.'s
I just had to throw in this classic Mary Kaye Trio album cover!
Logan and Sue finally get a room at the "Motel Glen Capri."
Upgraded room has a radio in it, but you still have to put a quarter in if you want it to work, and no free Wi-Fi!
Sue's a little trepidatious about her first night in the sack with her new husband, but she's glowing the following morning!
All you needed was a couple of Cokes, a cigarette machine, and a juke box, and 1960 was like paradise!
Brad is such a junkie loser, but don't worry, he gets what he deserves, and I'm not talking about treatment!
Associate Producer Nicholas (Missile To The Moon, Frankenstein's Daughter, The Astro-Zombies) Carras is also responsible for the cool soundtrack, and the title song was written by John Neel and Oscar Nichols, was performed by Reggie Perkins, and released on Raynote Records.