Tuesday, January 22, 2008

THE WIZARD OF MARS (Horrors Of The Red Planet) - Frank Coe - "Toot Toot" (1965)

Okay, you know, we're generally very reverent about the films we write about here, but there's at least one movie that really gets under our skin. What we're talkin' about here is "Horrors Of The Red Planet," aka "The Wizard Of Mars." Honestly, on multiple levels this could seriously be the worst sci-fi or horror film ever made, and that's coming from people who really like bad stuff! This movie just offends us! Number one, Duh!, NOTHING Happens!!! Normally that would be enough, but besides that, nothing else happens!! Of all the films or cartoons based on "The Wizard Of Oz," this one is by far the worst. What's really scary is, believe it or don't "The Wiz" is a better movie!!!

Right! Sure! This is Dorothy!!

You'll just have to guess which one is the Tin Man and which one is the Scarecrow.

These Leaf Fin Martian Eel Critters were almost scary for about two seconds!

Highlights of this film are, the disembodied John Carradine, rambling on forever about a bunch of foolish nonsense, the crew walking through a cave for about 20 minutes talking about absolutely nothing, and another 20 minutes walking in the sand dunes, I mean Mars, talking about more nothing!

Okay, Okay, this creepy little dude was kind of interesting. Seems like we saw one of his relatives in the "Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum."

The big solar pendulum thing is just stupid!

Forrest J. Ackerman got credit for technical advisor! They probably only asked him one question, so they could use his name! I'm almost positive his technical advice was to ditch the whole project without delay!! So don't blame Forry and don't blame composer Frank Coe either. He did his part with a decent orchestrated and theremin score. Frank also worked on other freaky psychotronic films like "Monsters And The Pajama Party" and "Lemon Grove Kids Meet The Monsters", but Frank couldn't even save this movie. To be fair, if they did replace the actors, the director, the cinematographer, and the script, this film might be watchable!! I said might!

"Life Itself Is Meaningless Again"

Do yourself a favor and first rent this movie, then rent or buy any Jerry Warren, Al Adamson, or Larry Buchanan movie to see what really good "Bad" is!!


tabonga!! said...

Tabonga want grab this flick and strangle with Mahogany limbs!! Then, throw in quicksand!

tabonga!! said...

Q. Why you think John look so very sad? A. He know he in a real stinkbomb!!

Greg Goodsell said...

You don't like the weary existential speech John Carradine delivers? I paraphrase -- "Without death, life has no meaning." That still doesn't save it from being a total disaster.

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