THE OUTER LIMITS - Season 01, Episode 17 - "Don't Open Till Doomsday" (1964)

If I've done the math right, this will be the 16th of 49 episodes of  "Outer Limits" we've covered! Welcome to the Saturday Night Special version of The Dungeon!

You should know the routine by now, don't freakin' adjust anything!

The basic premise is "Don't Open Till Doomsday" because presumably after you do, all Hell is going to break loose! So, here's your lesson of the day, 

DON'T DO IT!!

 One thing they don't explain is who is this guy, and why does he have this present to give away, or was I just not paying close enuf attention?

 Is there some significance to the fact that all the wedding presents are wrapped in the same paper?

Let me know and win a free prize!

 Huh, must be some kind of joke, let's just see what's in here!

 Kind of a cute innocuous box, but full of evil deviltry!

 "Don't Open Till Doomsday" has  more than it's share of  eye shots!

 So what, are you just fucking stupid or what??

 What a cool door knob!!

Miriam Hopkins! 33 years earlier she was Ivy Pearson in the Fredric March version of "Dr Jekyll And Mr. Hyde!"  I think her character here might well have been an inspiration for Dr. Frank-N-Furter eleven years later!

 Sorry, but the freakin' little alien dude in the box looks like a goober!

 It's quite possible that this is true, and these days they are all in positions of power all over the whole world! We should have believed him!

 Let's talk about thinking outside the box!!

 John (Attack Of The Puppet People) Hoyt was an actor's actor! He was in two "Twilight Zone" episodes, "Will The Real Martian Please Stand Up," and "The Lateness Of The Hour," two other "Outer Limits" episodes, and so much more. John ended his career while in his late 70's with 82 episodes of "Gimme A Break" as Grandpa Stanley Kanisky!

 Really awesome stairwell shot! Stairs in the home seem like such an ideal situation until you live in a two story house for a while! Trust me, despite "Father Knows Best," "Leave It To Beaver," and "My Three Sons," it is not the American dream!!

 They all finally meet face to face!

Dude actually manges to go from there to there and catch her as she faints!

It's called "Don't Open Til Doomsday!" What the Hell did you expect!?

IT CAME FROM ANOTHER WORLD! / All For George Prod. - 2007

Here's a parody of fifties sci-fi, I've never liked these horrible productions in any manner, they're just not funny, and, this stink bomb is freakin' 90 minutes long! So, here's one for you to check out. The dumbass story goes like this... This movie chronicles the continuing adventures of Professor Jackson, first introduced in 2006's THE MONSTER OF PHANTOM LAKE, and, the Professor finds himself tasked yet again with saving the planet from certain doom (really?). When Professor Jackson's colleague and best friend, Dr. Frasier, doesn't return from a scientific expedition in the deep woods, the Professor is sent to find and retrieve him. While searching, the Professor and Canoe Cops, Sven and Gustav, stumble upon an enigmatic meteorite that may hold the answer to Dr. Frasier's disappearance. In black and white.

Things get going when a meteorite crashes down near where Dr. Frasier is writing in his notebook. He leaves his camp and locates an alien object in a small crater...

He touches the thing and a life form comes out, attacks him and enters his body.

The Professor and the Canoe (WTF!!) Cops find the object in its crater. Then, Dr. Frasier shows up and is taken back to town.

At the Professor's lab, Dr. Frasier goes through a number of experiments to determine what seems to be wrong with him after his encounter with the thing from another world!

After having a really bad dream, the doc goes into the bathroom to freshen up, but, the alien dude in the mirror zaps him and takes over his body.

Those gots to be the worst bug-eyes in the history of bug-eyes, obviously made by a 5th grader in arts and crafts class!! This is another reason I despise lo-budg sci-fi parody, JFC, D! Anyway, the doc hypnotizes the Professor's fiancee and gives him a zap for good measure!

The freakin' Canoe Cops and their paddles are just no match for the unearthly, mind-bending powers of the all-mighty doc!

Then, it's the Professor's turn to go up against doc. They fight it out with the paddles to see who will rule the universe... No, really, it's true, it's in the damn script! The Professor loses the battle so gets zapped yet again!

But, the Professor comes up with Plan F-... He gives doc a brain teaser and doc goes nuts trying to solve a conflict in his brain. Then...

Doc turns back into himself, the life force leaves his body and doc........ DIES!!

Join us again tomorrow when Eegah!! will have something special for us... Later!

KOMMISSAR X - DREI GOLDENE SCHLANGEN - "Three Golden Serpents" (1969)

I thought I had done all the Kommissar X movies, but once again, I was wrong! We have a hard time keeping up with what we've done, and with all the foreign titles released with three or four different titles, it gets to be a bit of a fustercluck at times! 

 I do know we've done the Kommissar X film "So Darling, So Deadly" from 1966, and we've done "Kiss Kiss.. Kill Kill" also from 1966, but tonight, from 1969, I'm here to present:

"Three Golden Serpents!!!"

Here are our heroes once again, Tony Kendall as Joe Walker, aka Kommissar X.....

...............and Bad Brad Harris as Captain Tom Rowland!!

Filmed in Thailand, "Three Golden Serpents" is really a wonder to behold at times!

 The basic story is that these two guys are pissed because they missed the free semen at The Rolling Stones concert the week before!

Pretty discreet! You'd never know this guy was watching someone!!

"Three Golden Serpents" is a film about poisons of all kinds, mostly used for nefarious reasons!

This movie is just filled with weird shots like this!

Everything seems real cozy in Thailand! Kommissar X smokes about 50 packs of cigarettes in about an hour and a half!

 No, believe it or not, this isn't from a Spongebob cartoon!

Another interesting shot setting up a mediocre fight scene!

"The Three Golden Serpents" is a rat gang that kidnaps girls and takes them to this secluded island some 210 miles off the coast, then they shuttle the drugged johns over in a boat for a fun filled night of wild and crazy sex!!

Wow, I love both these signs!

 
Supposedly the song performed is sung by Angela Monti, and I honestly don't know if this is her or not, but it's a pretty good song, as is all the music in the film!

You don't want to find yourself in this predicament! You think you're going to have sex, and instead they drug you and turn you into a zombie, and this guy shows up in your room! Joe Walker should really know better than to get himself into messes like this, but he lets his other little head do a lot of his thinking for him, and this is how it works out!

 Brad and Tony looking pretty dapper like they're on their way to the Nevada Boxing Hall Of Fame 2017 induction ceremonies!!

Confusing? You bet!!

So this is something I didn't know about, it seems that in Thailand they have low tides that leave large fields of mud that if they need to cross, they use these little paddle boards that allow them to scoot along the top of the mud! The less fortunate have to try and trek through it on foot!  Pretty weird! For me, I'm going to paddle off now and see Alice Cooper in concert! If I survive, then I'll be back on Saturday with something special!