Well, I've got a different kind of hurt for you tonight, and it pains me bad that it seems virtually impossible to find any decent copies of the original 1970's mess called "The Gong Show."
And that's just the way it is on this Wednesday version of The Dungeon.
I don't know if the network destroyed all the tapes or if Chuck Barris himself did something with them, but all there basically is left of "The Gong Show" is stuff that people recorded at home on VCRs probably on the slow speed, so they could get more shows on a tape. Lord Litter found me this one and about 80 others of the original shows on The Internet Archive. It would be nice, but luckily you don't need HD to enjoy something of these zany proportions!
I honestly don't know which episode this was, and even IMDB doesn't have really any info on the individual shows, so I'm pretty much on my own here.
The first performer on this episode was a guy going by the name of Count Banjola, who plays an instrumental song on the banjo while being suspended upside down like a bat!
The judges on this episode were Pat Paulsen, Pat McCormick, and Juicy Jaye P. Morgan!
The three judges give The Count a perfect score of 30!
I'm guessing on a lot of this and just going by what I think I hear, and I think this guy who expands his belly to show what women have to go through during pregnancy was named Elliot Apsey!
Ricky Tick is a terrible comedian..............
..........But he's one Helluva good dancer!
The King of the Fleas gets gonged almost immediately, and rightfully so!
This young man whose name is something like Peter Paul Quizada does a pretty good job of performing The Beatles' "Black Bird."
Instead of cutting to commercial, we get a taste of "Packed My Boomzie!"
Gloria Goldsmith and her band The Wood Work were quite talented and were definitely not a novelty act!
Is that a crocheted lampshade that Chuck is wearing on his head?
And this is the same guy who claimed to be a C.I.A. hitman?
A regular on the show was Murray Langston as The Unknown Comic!
With all this shit, a toilet bowl cleaner like Ty-D-bol seemed like a fitting sponsor!
There was a three way tie between Gloria Goldsmith, Peter Paul, and The Count who all got 30 points, but Count Banjola prevailed and got the big check! I read that "The Gong Show" was voted one of the worst TV shows of all time, but I've been watching some YouTube videos of the popular show "Britain's Got Talent," and that show not only could not have existed without "The Gong Show," I saw an act that I know for a fact I saw on "The Gong Show" before where four guys were performing with hammers on pans covering their crotch!