Saturday, August 11, 2018

LI SAN JIAO WEI ZHEN DI YU MEN - "The Dragon Lives Again" (1977)

 Tonight's Saturday Night Special is either one of the best movies I've ever seen, or one of the worst! I just can't make up my mind! One thing that is for sure is that they double downed on the weirdness factor, now whether that works or not depends on how intoxicated you are. That being said, let's get this party started! 

 The movie is presented as a dedication to Bruce Lee's fans, when it's actually an exploitation of Bruce Lee's popularity that steals freely from every known action film icon the producers could think of. It's really a quite incredibly amazing piece of shit,.....I mean work of art! It's called "Li San Jiao Wei Zhen Di Yu Men," and is sometimes referred to as "Deadly Hands Of Kung Fu," or "The Dragon Lives Again!"

 This wild child of a story finds Bruce Lee, as played by Siu Lung Leung (Bruce Leong), has died and gone to Hell! In this burning inferno he meets a very weird assortment of famous people good and bad! Bruce doesn't want to be dead, and since he's not sure how to get out, he opens a gym!

Take your pick! 
This guy is either The King, The Devil, The Boss, or just some horny pervert! It's kind of hard to take serious a guy who wears what looks like a pearl lampshade on his head!

 I'm not liking the looks of this menu, just bring me a glass of ice water please!

The bosses of the Bad Guy's Club are The Godfather and The Exorcist, who are joined by soft-pore corn star Emmanuelle (played by Jenny in her only known role!) For the record, just in case this looks like a kid's movie, it's not! There is no graphic violence, but there are a couple of sex scenes that go on for quite a while!

Why Clint Eastwood and James Bond are also on the evil side, I have no idea!

 As is Zatoichi, the blind swordsman hero of Japan who rounds out this team of scoundrels!

 It might seem like overwhelming odds against Bruce, but he gets some help from Popeye and Shaolin monk and martial-arts expert Caine of "Kung Fu" fame!!

 Pull it I say!!

 Just to make it even less comprehensible, sometimes Bruce shows up as Kato, the role he had on "The Green Hornet" TV show!

 Oh, I almost forgot, Dracula is also one of the bad guys!

 Drac takes one for The Gipper!!

 James Bond is almost too easily disposed of!

 Clint Eastwood wasn't much more difficult!

 The Exorcist and The Godfather put up a pretty formidable fight!

 Bur Bruce is too much for them so they have to call in the Hoppin' Mummies chorus line!

 One of the greatest fight scenes in Kung Fu history!

 I don't think he really needed them, but Caine, Popeye, and The One-Armed Swordsman jump into the fray!

 And Yes Virginia, Popeye even has the requisite can of spinach he'll dig into before this fight is over!

Well, there's so much more to the story, but in The End, Bruce is released to go back to the Earth, and as he's whisked away, everybody left behind gives him a fond farewell. Bruce wanted to take everybody back with him, but The Boss said no because if he did, "The Earth would be an even crazier place!" Some things just aren't worth arguing over!

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