Wednesday, April 4, 2018

SATURN 3 - "The Ultimate Space Adventure" (1980)

Welcome to another Wild and Wooly Wednesday down in The Dungeon! I never realized it was so hard for an artiste to capture the likeness of Farrah Fawcett before, but obviously it is! So one of the taglines for this movie was "The Ultimate Space Adventure!" Just remember, they said it, not me!

It's called "Saturn 3" and it was made in 1980! "Sa-Turd 3" might have made as much sense!

Oddly enough, I kind of liked "Saturn 3" and, it must be pretty riveting because I only fell asleep once!

In Spanish or Portuguese, they had to completely change the name to "Saturno 3" or nobody would have understood it!

"Saturn 3" is well-lit eye candy, and as long as you don't take it too serious, you might actually have a good time, maybe!

If I am ever involved with another movie project, this is the way to go! There are basically three cast members. There are a handful at the beginning and end, but the core of the film is three people! They were all pretty big names, but if you made a movie with a cast of three, and didn't have to pay them much, it would sure make film making easier, and look how much extra money they had to spend on set design and effects because of it! For this movie, it's Harvey (Mean Streets) Keitel as the mean spirited Captain Benson!

Farrah (Logan's Run) Fawcett as Alex! (I can't help but think she's a humanoid or a cyborg!) For me Farrah will always be Farrah Fawcett Majors as Jill Munroe on "Charlie's Angels!"

Since 1976, over six million copies of this poster have been sold, and you can still get it on eBay and other online sites!
Farrah has since moved on and left us all behind at the age of 62 in 2009!

Kirk (Lust For Life) Douglas on the other hand seems to be indestructible, and just turned 101 last December!

So, I'm sure those three were paid very well, but having less actors made more money available for neat stuff like this!

Kirk and Farrah did make a handsome couple! I could see why they'd just like to be left alone in space together!

 How can you go wrong? You get a chance to briefly see both Farrah's boobs, and Kirk's 64 year old butt!!

I don't think this artiste did a very good job of capturing Farrah's beauty either, and look at that pouty mouth! They never have a problem so much with Kirk, but they just can't seem to get Farrah's eyes right either!

 You can bet drugs are going to be a BIG problem in the future!

So I'm just guessing you already know what this movie is about, and if not..........

.........I'm sure as Hell not going to be much help! 

Let's just say there's trouble in paradise in the form of a big robot with a small head, and his mentor that he's getting all his information from is a horny homicidal maniac, and I think that pretty much explains it all!

That would be the no longer attached hand of Captain Benson that's freaking out Farrah Fawcett!

This is one of those I just like this shot things!

In an effort to make himself more appealing to Alex, the robot appropriates what's left of the head of Captain Benson! The one thing I don't get is, if all those fragile hoses are so important, wouldn't it be real easy to snip a few of them? They don't look any more durable than your common neoprene or polyethylene tubing! A simple razor knife, and this terror would be toast!

Besides "The Ultimate Space Adventure," one of the other tag lines reads....."Some 'thing' is wrong on Saturn 3," and that is the real story!!


Randall Landers said...

I was never that critical of this sort of film. As you said, it's eye candy, and it does quite well for that. The robot is dorky, and I was never impressed with it. I thought it would've been more frightening if it had been totally human looking with this murderous bent. But alas, I wasn't consulted. :)

EEGAH!! said...

Yeah, they forgot to ask me too, Randall!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??