MYSTERY ON MONSTER ISLAND / Almena Films, F. Ariza, Fort Films Productions - 1981
Here's a weak Jules Verne story all about a young European lad living in San Francisco, he's reluctant to marry his long time girlfriend because he wants to travel around the world first. His wealthy uncle agrees to send him on a global expedition aboard his ship, but, en route he and his travelling companion are shipwrecked on a remote island, populated by countless prehistoric creatures as well as gold-hunting bandits!
This thing stars Terence (MODESTY BLAISE, SPIRITS OF THE DEAD) Stamp and Peter (THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN, THE SKULL) Cushing with a cast of lesser known actors...
Peter plays Mr. Kolderup, he buys a tropical island for five million dollars at an auction. Terence Stamp plays his rival, Taskinar, who also wants the island because he knows a treasure of gold is hidden there, but he loses the bid.
So, Kolderup sends his nephew, Jeff (Ian Sera), to the island on a boat along with his teacher, Professor Artelect (David Hatton), but on the way there, they meet up with this super scary sea monster!.. Check out those highly detailed eyeballs.
Then, Jeff and the Professor get shipwrecked and end up on Monster Island anyway.
On the island, Jeff and the Professor come across some natives ready to slit the throat of one of their own! Our guys step in and save the dude and he becomes part of the gang. The thing that bugs me the most about this movie is the freakin' Professor's spastik reaction to absolutely everything that happens. I wanted him to get killed after 10 minutes, but, had to suffer through the whole 100 minute story without satisfaction!! DAMN IT!!!
Here are some of the monsters on the island, you can see the care taken in their creation!
Our guys meet a girl wandering around and she invites them to stay at her place. She puts a record on and does the twist with Jeff!!.. Let me out of here!!
These weirdos are seen wandering through the forest... I wonder what they look like?
WTF?!!.. You gotta be kidding, jeez!! Hey, costume designer!! YOU'RE FIRED!!!
It looks bad for the good guys! But, their native buddy, Carefinatu, saves them from whatever the weirdos have in store for them!
Then, the volcano 'splodes and our gang takes shelter in a cave, followed by the weirdos.
Finally, Kolderup shows up in his ship to save our guys from the many dangers on the island,
Well anyway, the weirdos are ready to shoot everyone when they are attacked by some small missiles! The day is saved when Kolderup's cook has Taskinar and his pals surrender to the authorities. Our goofball Professor still has many more embarrassing scenes to overact in before the ending credits roll. Okay, there you go, join us again tomorrow when Eegah!! will have a specialty item to share, later dudeskis!
Dungeon Bulletin... It's looking like Eegah!! and I should have taken Russian in high school instead of German! Stoopid kidz!!