Monday, January 11, 2010

El BUQUE MALDITO - Antón García Abril - "Shiver Me Timbers" (1974)

Director Amando de Ossorio was working that Blind Zombies schtick hard back in the 70's. He went from Spaghetti Westerns to Blind Zombies, and never looked back over his shoulder again! Honestly, just like with the Gamera movies, I'm starting to lose track! It looks like it all started back in 1972 with "La Noche Del Terror Ciego" or "Night Of The Blind Dead" aka "Revenge From Planet Ape," something very high up there on the WTF scale! Then it was "El Ataque De Los Muertos Sin Ojos" or "Return Of The Blind Dead" in 1973, then came this flick, "El Buque Maldito" or depending on how you want to try and desperately sell it, either "Ghost Ships of the Blind Dead, "Ship Of Zombies," "The Blind Dead 3," "The Ghost Galleon" or even possibly "Zombie Flesh Eater," or in this case, "Horror Of The Zombies" or the "Surfin' Blind Zombies"!!!

Meet Groucho, Harpo and Chico!

Miss Madrid 1970, Bárbara Rey as Noemi, aka Groucho, is concerned about her missing room mate Kathy!

Another bombshell Maria Perschy, as 'Head In Charge Of Who Freakin' Cares Top Model' Lillian tells Noemi what is up!!

It's just a publicity stunt! Kathy and Lorena Kay or Margarita Merino in her solo role are fake floating lost out at sea just to draw attention to a new line of clothing! Shit! What could be a more simple advertising spiel??

RANDOM NEWS FLASH: This just in hot off the wire, this very site you're looking at has just been nominated for it's first ever award, "The Lovely Blog Award" presented to us by the honourable Ivan over at The United Provinces Of Ivanlandia Blog! While it is certainly an award of dubious distinction, and might even be considered a plague among some folks, we'll accept it graciously! Other weiners included The Otto Manix Report, Toestubber, Bad Advice, Rockin' Monkey, The Magic Whistle, Doll's Realm, Love Train for the Tenebrous Empire, In Iraq Now (at 56), The Hundred Dresses Project, Danny Hellman's Screw Magazine Cover Art Gallery, Dinner With Max Jenke, Vintage Irish Book Covers, WFMU Rock 'n' Soul Ichiban! and Pluck You, Too! I have no idea who 90% of these people are, because personally, we're social misfits, but we're gonna check them out now, being our brethren and all, but now, we are supposed to do the same thing, and give out the award to 15 other blogs which means we have to be nice, and that just ain't right! So, Thanx a freakin' whole swell bunch IVAN!! Next time, send money! Thanx!

Now back to our story:

Something has gone terribly wrong, there's a bunch of weird fog and the girls run into a big Ghost Ship!!! Oh, No, help Mr. Wizard!

Okay, Okay, I'll give them points for atmosphere!!!

But the talents of Blanca Estrada were wasted as she almost literally sleeps through this role!

Now I will give the producer's credit, this is one Helluva shot, but, it's only like 2 seconds out of an hour and a half!!

Blanca cranks it up a notch!!!

By today's standards, this is a Very Green movie, because they recycled the living crap out of everything!! Not only will you see that these Zombie guys are the same as the last movie, but even the music of Antón García Abril is re-used to the max! The only difference is, this time we're out at sea!!!

Hold on Blanca!!!!!!

In this flashback scene, you can see how cute Blanca really was, unfortunately, it wasn't enough to save her or this movie!!!

God Damn you Zombies!!!!

The Boss, big A-Hole Howard Tucker played by Jack Taylor, and Lillian, are the only ones who manage to excape from those ever so slow moving zombies, but, because of the way he treated Blanca, and the fact that those zombies can swim, their lives are still no Swiss picnic! In fact......

After all of that, that's a Helluva a sight to have to see when you finally regain consciousness!! You'd of thought those zombies would have dissolved like a piece of bullion once they hit the water, but...

No, not content to stop here, there was also "La Noche De Las Gaviotas" or "The Blind Dead 4" in 1975!!!!

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