MERRIE MELODIES / "The Trial Of Mr. Wolf" - 1941

Here's an hilarious WB cartoon, when cartoons were works of pure art, no crutches like today. And what else, it's written by my guy, Michael Maltese, so you know it'll be a winner!

Mr. wolf is on trial for his evil antics, but he's portraying himself as a little angel...

The jury is all wolves and one skunk, seems like Mr. Wolf has it made!

The defense lawyer argues that Red Riding Hood is guilty...

Guilt is written all over her face!

Since there are always two sides to every story, our Mr. Wolf starts telling the story from his perspective.

Well, he was out picking flowers for his dear sweet mom, when, Red Riding Hood approaches him, saying that she has lost her way and can't find her grandma's house! 

Mr. Wolf pulls out his trusty compass and it locates grandma's house.

Red jumps onto her motorcycle and rushes away with the wolf in the sidecar!

And moments later she's on the path that leads to her grandma's place.

Obviously Mr. Wolf's not paying attention!

In the house, grandma tells him.. You have such big eyes! And he responds.. The better to enjoy all the splendors of nature! Then she pulls out her big old mallet.

After he almost gets his head clobbered, the wolf tries to get out of the house.

But no matter what door he opens, grandma has a big surprise waiting for him!

And when he finally thinks he can get away, grandma conks him on the head.

She jumps on him and starts strangling his pencil neck!.. And he ends with, it's a miracle he got away from that crazy old lady!

Even the jury of wolves aren't buying the ridiculous story he just told.

Mr. Wolf then tells the court...  If I'm not telling the truth, may I... May I get run over by a streetcar!

In an instant karma moment, well, a freaking streetcar runs him the Hell over.

And after that he says... Well, I may have exaggerated a little... And a brick in the wall falls free and hits him where it hurts the most! Great cartoon I loved as a kid.

THE LOST ROOM - "The Key And The Clock" (2006)

 

This week's Weird Wednesday feature is a six episode mini-series made in 2006 titled "The Lost Room."

 

This first episode was called "The Key And The Clock," and involves a strange motel room key to a room number 10 that doesn't really exist.

When the key is put into any door lock, the door unlocks to a room full of light and who knows what else.

This guy named Weasel just paid two million dollars for the key, and is not happy when it slips through his sticky fingers!

I had never heard of this show before, but as you can see, it's got a good look to it!

A Detective named Joe Miller ends up with the key, but doesn't know about it's powers. He puts the key in his closet door, and when he walks in, this is what he sees, an apparently empty motel room.

Joe Miller was played by Peter (Blood Harvest) Krause, who has had an ongoing role on the television series "9-1-1" as Bobby Nash, since 2018.

It is indeed, nothing more than a motel room, and Joe is just a little baffled!

Looking out the window, it looks like this motel is smack dab in the middle of absolutely Nowheresville!

Joe leaves, shuts the door, and then re-enters again, and this time he finds himself in some island paradise.

Elle (Maleficent) Fanning is Joe's daughter Anna. Joe has been keeping the key and door secret from her, but she figures it out on her own!

Joe tells his partner Lou about the key, and when they go through the door, they find themselves at some sports event that is impossible to get tickets for, and they decide to stay for a while. Might as well take some advantage of the situation!

A woman shows up and claims to be one of the victim's sister, but when confronted, she admits she is the one in charge of the key, and she wants it back. Joe wakes up on the floor.

Joe meets a krazy guy in the hospital named Wally Jabrowski, and watches him disappear one of the orderlies working in the hospital into thin air. Wally is played by Peter (The Midnight Meat Train) Jacobson.

 

 Wally makes Joe disappear three times, with some kind of magical bus ticket he's holding, and he always ends up in the same place. Luckily this old run down house has a door he can go through to get back.

 

The last time he comes back, Joe catches Wally off guard in an elevator and punches his ticket. Since Joe has the key, and after getting a free meal, Wally reluctantly tells Joe some of what is going on.

In between time, Weasel kidnaps Joe's daughter, and burns all the doors in the agreed meeting area!

It all goes South, and Joe is left in a morass of despair, lost in between worlds with no clue where his daughter is. Because of the nature of the beast of what we do, I don't often have time to watch more than one episode of a show before moving on to the next thing, but I'm going to make time to watch at least the next episode of "The Lost Room" because it was fairly interesting.

METALOCALYPSE: DETHKLOK / "The Curse Of Dethklok" - 2006

In this first episode, Dethklok is the most famous band in the world, they are multi-billionaires, and have a cult following like no other. From left to right are the band members William Murderface on bass, Skwisgaar Skwigelf on guitar, Nathan Explosion on vocals, Pickles on drums and Toki Wartooth on guitar...

So, Dethklok is performing in Norway to play one song, the Duncan Hills Coffee jingle! Droves of fans file up the mountainous terrain to catch the show.

And, they all have to sign waivers in case there's a 'problem' with the performance!

Everyone's in place when a gigantic helicopter swoops in and drops a huge spiked metal cube to the ground. There's a designated spot it's supposed to land at, but...

It misses the target by a few hundred feet, taking out a bunch of loyal fans!

The cube opens up, revealing Dethklok!

They start in with their Duncan Hills Coffee jingle! Nathan says that they aren't selling out... They're making coffee METAL!!

Dethklok's minions start pouring hot, and I do mean HOT, coffee down on the spectators.

Fans scream in agony as their skin is melted away! James Hetfield and Kirk Hammett from Metallica provide some of the screams of damaged fans. Also, Mark Hamill provides the voice over for Senator Stampingston for the complete series.

There are fireworks celebrating the event, but when two rockets glance off each other...

One makes a direct hit through the helicopter window, hitting their beloved cook.

Which causes him to go through the ceiling and right into the copter blades!

And Dethklok gets bathed in the cook's blood.

Unable to cook, his body parts are kept on life support in the next room, so that they can keep an eye on him. Cost, $10,000 a day!

The boys take their jumbo jet to the food library... Err... Supermarket, to pick up some items they can make at home, because, you know, the cook. Oh and, No Booze! It's not a food group! They get a ton of booze anyway.

Un-civilized is the word used to describe the members of Dethklok, they don't get out much. Murderface is probably the worst offender. He has to take a leak, so...

Skwisgaar loves to mess with Toki, here, he puts some tampons in his basket. You can see he grabbed some cereal with his picture on the box.

When Pickles is told that you drop a live lobster into hot water to cook it, he responds with.. That is the most BRUTAL thing he's ever heard of.

They fly back home to their castle and heat up the water to cook their meal. Then Toki remembers, they left all the groceries back at the market!!

Murderface prods the cook's head and tells him.. Come on, cook for us.. Don't be a dick! Watch this episode to see how it ends, later!