REVENGE OF THE TOYS - "More Than Just Cheeseballs" (1984)

 

Some movies are SO obscure that almost nobody knows anything about them, and that's the case with this Saturday Night Special called "Revenge Of The Toys."

Made in 1984, "Revenge Of The Toys," is a small segment of a larger project by Phil Hartman called "Cheeseball Presents." As you can plainly see, it is full of suspense!

It also takes a lot of balls to make a film like this!

You can't go wrong if you can get Elvira to host the show for you!

This seemingly innocent toy box is filled with horrors!

The wife of the family is in a panic!

She heard something go bump in the night, and she doesn't know what it is.

Her husband goes upstairs to check it out and is mysteriously pelted with balls!

He finds his old "Soldier Bill" doll and reminisces about the good times they spent together!

Unfortunately "Soldier Bill" has different memories, and only remembers being mistreated and abused!

"Soldier Bill" suddenly gets a deathgrip on the guy's finger!

Then he starts beating him up, and throwing him all around the room!

The wife, in the meantime is being savagely attacked by Hula Hoops!

Nearly choking, she ends up falling down the stairs to certain death!

Now all the rest of the toys are getting in on the action!

I have these same windup toys, maybe I should have them locked up some place just to be on the safe side!

It doesn't take long at all before the man is completely incapacitated!

He had to learn the hard way that toys have feelings too, and some of them are not going to take it any longer, and just might sock it to you! You've been warned! You better start treating those toys with a little more R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Clueless Elvira thinks the whole thing is a joke!

COLONEL BLEEP / The Firebomb - 1958

It's time for some Colonel Bleep and his pals today, because, the post I had ready, well, we already did it!! Like I got time to waste. So, Colonel Bleep has created a planet run entirely by Futurian robots, and him, Squeak and Scratch pay a visit to the automated planet...

The robots are cute as a bell, whatever that means. They happily dance around as they perform their daily tasks.

The gang is being carted around by one of the main robots, Scratch is constantly pointing at things as they journey through the city in the taxi.

They stop at a Robo Lube station to refill their tank.

But, Dr. Destructo is spying on the robots. and hatches an evil scheme...

He's got a little surprise for them!

But first, he pulls his pet gorilla Grizzo out of its cage and fills it in on all the details about his plan, and Grizzo loves it!

The doctor and Grizzo shoot off into space and head to the robot planet.

Once Dr. Destructo has landed his rocket on the planet, a robot sniffing nose warns everyone of impending danger!

But it's too late, all the robots' gas tanks have been drained and the mad doctor has used his fire bomb to start their Futurian gasoline producing factory ablaze!

And on the way to the fire, the fire truck and the robot fire fighters all run out of fuel...

There's only one thing to do!!.. Spray the fire with frozen... Plutonium??!

The Colonel and Squeak can't get close to the heat, so Scratch volunteers for the job.

The caveman runs towards the danger and meets it head on!! And after a battle with the flames our hero puts them all out.

Scratch is made chief of something, but it's a good thing that only robots live there, because, the contamination from all that frozen Plutonium spray will be lethal to anything with flesh!

I love the artwork for this cartoon, it's wild and weird, and wacky. The fifties was a different world, if I could get a ticket, I'd go back!

BEAST FROM HAUNTED CAVE - "And Other Sinful Cinema Books By Doug Brunell" (2021)

Just one day over a month ago, this book titled "Beast From Haunted Cave" was published, and is definitely something that anybody who reads a blog like this should enjoy. Not only does it tell you the story, but it goes into as much detail as the author could unearth about the people who were involved in the making of this fantastic film!

 

"Beast From Haunted Cave" was number 6 in the"Sinful Cinema" series created by author Doug Brunell that reaches into the depths of what makes 'bad' movies good! The first book in the series was titled "The Abductors" and came out in 2016.

Number two in the series was titled "Crypt Of The Living Dead" and ventured even further into the world of sleazy cinema!

By the time Doug got to book number three, there was no turning back. It was called "Destruction Kings," and was inspired by Bad Boys and The Monster Squad!

 

Number four in the series is "Laure," "an erotic cinematic adventure of distinct and taboo pleasures." 

Number five is about the story behind "The Amazing Mr. X." 

Yeah, it's as good as it looks!
 "Beast From Haunted Cave," is a short read, so you'd probably do yourself a favor to buy the whole series, cause you're gonna get hooked. Kindle available for about $1.99, or copies you can hold in your hands for an average of six bucks! 

Doug Brunell

And while you're there, check out some of Doug's fiction, and if that's not enough for you, then go check out some of his blogs like.......

THE LAST PICTURE BLOG

or

SATANIC MUSIC FOR GOOD CHILDREN 

or

THE WRITTEN WORD IS A LIE

THE BLACK CAT / Boris And Bela Battle It Out - 1934

Here's a wild one co-written and directed by Edgar G. Ulmer back before Universal ruined his career. I stars our very favorite guys, Boris  as Hjalmar Poelzig and Bela as Dr. Vitus Werdegast, who I will refer to as Boris and Bela. It also stars David Manners as Peter Alison, Julie Bishop as Joan Alison, Egon Brecher and Harry Cording.

In this story, Peter and Joan Alison are honeymooning in Hungary and share their compartment on the train with the strange Dr. Werdegast. When they take the bus to the hotel, there is an accident that leaves Joan injured. The doctor takes them all to the home of an old 'friend' of his, famed architect Hjalman Poelzig, where he treats Joan's wounds. Unfortunately, Hjalmar is a Satan-worshipping priest, what could possibly go wrong?!

Peter and Joan Alison are on their honeymoon in Hungary when Bela comes into their compartment on the train. After Joan falls asleep, Bela tells Peter some very disturbing facts about his life, like, he was just released from prison after 15 years of incarceration as a political prisoner.

On the way to a hotel, the the bus slides off the roan in a hellacious rain storm. The group is near Bela's old friend's place so they head off to his fortress-like home.

Bela is familiar with the place and just comes into the house (where he was going in the first place) and has Joan laid on a bed where he tends to her wounds. Boris walks in on the group and has a very distasteful look on his face, almost evil...

Bela sees a black cat and totally freaks out. He kills the poor cat after he throws an object at it. Still crazy after all these years!

Boris, Bela and Peter are talking when Joan, on medication, comes into the room and seems really out of it. For some reason now, she gives Bela the evil eye while swooning over Boris, a perfect host! When Joan gets frisky with Peter, Boris grabs his statue of a nude woman... It seems like Boris has some special plans for Joan!

What Bela is there for, is, he wants to know what happened to his wife! It seems that Boris was also in love with Bela's wife, he tells Bela that he married her after he went to prison, but she died and hung her in the dungeon so that he could always admire her beauty! WTF!

There's another black cat that Bela has to be afraid of. Love this shot!

Peter and Joan have had it with Boris and want to leave, but, they'll have to get through Thamal first. It doesn't go well for the couple, the brute knocks Peter out and he's tossed into a dark locked room, Joan faints and is carried back to her room.

Bala's the good guy here. He goes in the comfort Joan and reveals to her that Boris is an evil Satan-worshipping priest that has an eye on her, but he's there to help. Bela has had a plan for revenge from the beginning, and is playing along for just the right moment to occur.

In the meantime, Bela's daughter Karen walks in on Joan and they chat until Boris comes in and breaks it up. You see, Boris is either 'married' to her or just living with her!

The night is perfect, a storm is brewing, all his minions are due to arrive any time and get the party started! This scene is similar to the one in CURSE OF THE DEMON.

Wow, Satan-worshippers really have a crazy cool way of looking at things! This works good here... WHAT THE HELL!!

Now get ready for this one, Thamal is actually working for Bela!! Yeah, that's right!

In a tussle after the ceremony to sacrifice Joan is broken up, Thamal has been shot and Boris attacks Bela, trying to choke him out.

But Thamal is one tough SOB and he jumps on Boris to save Bela. He then helps Bela put Boris into some chains to subdue him, then he collapses and dies!

Bela has a good talk with Boris, and lets him know what he has in mind for him...

Thankfully, you only get to see Boris attacked with a scalpel in the shadows!! But you do get to hear all the screams!

But alas, Bela is shot by Peter when Bela tries to help Joan get the door key, because Peter thinks Bela is attacking her! So, since the place was built over an ammo dump, our hero has the solution. He tells the couple to leave quickly, and pushes the lever down to create a short circuit in the electrical systems...

And the place blows to holy Hell, bringing our tale to an end. This was one wild movie, you need to check it out when you get a chance, only 65 minutes long!