THE PIT - "Teddy" (1981)

"The Pit!" Jeezz.......so weird, but not really in a good way! Welcome to another Weirdass Wednesday in The Dungeon! You might want to tighten up your straitjacket a notch for this one!

In this Canadian film, they can't figure out if the story is about a 12 year old pervert, or a bunch of troglodyte monsters living in a hole! It's from 1981, but looks like 1970, and seriously WTF!?

 Tomorrow's the first day of Summer 2018, so who needs the weekend, let's get this party started!

 Everybody's going to be there!

Sammy Snyders is Jamie Benjamin, a distracted kid with an overzealous libido! Sammy was Tom Sawyer in a 1980 TV series for 26 episodes, and he made one more appearance after "The Pit" and never looked back!

Jamie Benjamin is a twisted little kid who can't seem to get women off of his mind!

He does cutouts from nude art books he gets from the library, and pastes the faces of ladies he knows on them!

Jamie's parents are going out of town, and when the new babysitter comes over to have a meal, Jamie drops his napkin, just so he can get this view!

Oh yeah, and his best friend is this toy bear with the original name Teddy, and the reason for the alternative title of this movie! They actually converse, and Teddy has a dirty mind too!

Besides acting, Jeannie Elias as Sandy the gullible babysitter, has been busy for some 30+ years doing cartoon and video game voices. She was Margaret on 78 episodes of "Dennis the Menace," and her voice credits go everywhere imaginable from Princess Toadstool to Pugsley Addams! Sandy drives Jamie crazy, and he thinks he's in love with her. Her dressing like this when she goes to check on him doesn't help matters much!

Wow! I forgot all about those two tone Webers!

But wait, this movie is called "The Pit," not the little pervert, so where's the pit? Is it an olive pit, or an arm pit, or maybe Brad Pitt? Oh, here it is, a hole out in the forest somewhere that's gotta smell like something that rhymes with spit!

Pretty dang nice looking Chevy ragtop!

Jamie's back up to his tricks again!

After Jamie discovers the hungry critters down in the hole, and then finds out they like meat, he starts stealing Sandy's money and going to the butcher shop to buy meat for them and tossing it down into the pit! When he runs out of money, he tries to steal this cow!

Sometimes, "The Pit" is almost slapstick, like when the pervert kid is wheeling the Grannie in her wheelchair out to the pit to feed the little buggers. It's like "The Little Shop Of Horrors" meets "The Keystone Kops!" "The Pit" takes more than a little bit from "The Little Shop Of Horrors" as it's a story about monsters with an insatiable taste for meat and a lamebrain's efforts to feed them, and that's where all the murder and mayhem begins!

Jamie's pushing everybody he doesn't like into the pit, and then Sandy falls in accidentally. After that all the monsters escape and go on a rampage through the country leaving a trail of bodies like this!

Like really none of it makes one iota of sense!

The monsters are chased back into the hole, and.....

.......The local townspeople take care of the rest of the cleanup business!

I always try to give people credit just for trying, but it's pretty difficult for me to do with "The Pit!" Besides everything else, "The Pit" is agonizingly slow at times! It's 96 minutes long, but I'm sure if they just cut out about an hour and a half, it wouldn't be half bad!