THE SECRET CINEMA - Paul Bartel (1968)

I've got a real special Weirdo Wednesday feature for you tonight, a movie I knew nothing about until yesterday, and I think it is one of the most interesting movies I've seen lately! "The Secret Cinema" was written, directed, and produced by funny guy Paul Bartel in 1968, and if I was teaching a film class, this would be mandatory viewing!

To start off with, "The Secret Cinema" is only 30 minutes long, which I think is a perfect length for a film since I have a short attention span! Get in there, don't waste any time, and get it done! IMDB says the estimated budget was only $5000.00. Today, people can't even make a 30 second commercial for that amount of money!

The star of the show is Amy Vane as Jane in her only acting credit ever, and she does a freaking amazing job!

Jane's beau is obviously named Dick, and of course, he is one too!

Dick is played by Paul ( Fall To Rise) Carlson.

Hard to imagine, but this was all that you needed in 1968, a radio, a phone (Not a mini-computer, but a phone) and something to drink!

Connie Ellison as Helen is Jane's best friend. This was also Connie's only credit!

1968 with a black woman in a strong lead role, Paul Bartel was an innovator no doubt!

I sure wish Paul hadn't passed away 20 years ago so I could ask him some questions about how and where he came up with these women.

In a nutshell, here's the deal! 

Jane is in a movie of her daily life that she doesn't know anything about, but all the other characters in the movie do. They film her every move, and then screen the movies at a local theatre and have a good laugh, all at Jane's expense. In this scene, Jane's Mom spills the beans that she can't wait to see the next episode and find out what happens to her daughter, but it goes right over Jane's head! In the meantime, the krazy waitress brings her a meal she didn't order!

Jane is in the lady's room when she hears a couple of girls talking about her life! At this point she's really starting to wonder what is going on!

Helen talks Jane into going out with her repugnant boss, and gets her all dolled up for the occasion!

They go out to a dance club where the music is being played by The Rusty Nails.

Jane finally finds the theatre where her life is on display, but they won't let her in because she is not a member and doesn't have a ticket!

A truly marvelous Mimi Randolph plays the cashier, the waitress, and the nurse!!!

Mimi showed back up in 1994 to be on one episode of "Law And Order."

The next showing will be the last!

Jane runs away from the theatre in terror after seeing all her friends and family leaving the movie!

She sleeps out on the sidewalk that night, and when she comes to, the theatre apparently is now a super market, and Jane thinks she's losing her mind, so she heads on over to talk to the only person she trusts, her Psychiatrist !

Barry Dennen as Jane's shrink was the most experienced actor on the set. He was Fred in the "Batman" TV show, and among other things was doing cartoon voices since the 80's. From about 1995 until 2016, Barry did tons and tons of voices for video games like "Infinity Blade III," and "Heavenly Sword."

In 1986, the TV show "Amazing Stories" did a remake of "The Secret Cinema" and Paul Bartel played the role of the Psychiatrist. To make it even better, Barry Dennen was in that episode too, but in a different role, and Mary Woronov had the role of the nurse!

The jig is up. The Doctor is running the whole show!

I still can't hardly believe this was Amy Vane's only role ever, because she was just really good!

Poor Jane! There's no happy ending for her!

Jane ends up in straitjacket city, and Helen starts demanding that she needs a bigger piece of the action because she played such a large role in Jane's demise!

As the camera backs out and we see the theatre audience, we now know that Helen is getting played, and is unknowingly the star of the next movie!!

What a great little film, and guess what, you can watch it for free at

The Internet Archive!
And I suggest that you do!

SANTO EN PROFANADORES DE TUMBAS / Santo Battles The Grave Robbers! - 1966

What the HELL!! That's what I always say!.. Anyway, today we have another one of Santo's many movies. Sorry about the print, but, it's better than nothing. Here's the story line from IMDb.. "Santo investigates a series of grave robberies." Wow, I could have figured that out from the poster! So, let me tell you, this movie is freakin' brutal and insane, you will not believe all the sadistic things that happen to Santo in this one! Even though it's in Spanish, check it out, search the title and the complete movie is available there. Do yourself a favor!

After taking on the task of busting some local grave robbers, Santo receives a gift at his pad, it's a freaky looking lamp. So, he plugs it in and turns it on, it gives out an irritating noise and Santo undergoes intense pain. After some harrowing moments, he's able to unplug the infernal thing. Like, what's going on around here, anyway?

Santo gets a tip and heads to the cemetery.. He encounters some tough hombres he takes on, but, they eventually gang up on him and knock him out. So, what do they do you ask, right, they throw him in the grave and bury him alive! (this is not the only time this happens to him in his movies). But, our hero toughs it out and is barely able to save himself!

Wow daddy-o, look at this sweet communication lab any monster kid in the fifties would love to have!! Santo looks like a big kid sitting there talking to, I guess, the police commissioner. The weird thing at top is actually a very nice painting!

The leader of the grave robbers sends out his crippled and not too bright henchman to shoot up Santo in the ring with poison when no one's paying attention, but, he shoots up the wrong guy!! The guy dies and the henchman is beaten with a stick once again for his incompetence!

Here's a look at part of the bad guys' hangout that has some antique looking machinery!

So, the henchmen go to Santo's place while he's gone. They bring in another sinister lamp but this time, they add a 25 foot cord (so they're protected from the effects) and wait for our hero to return. When Santo goes over to look at it, they plug it in and run away. Santo has another bout with the lamp before pulling the plug out yet again. Holy crap, twice!

Santo locates the hideout and goes there to bust some heads. Of course, they were expecting him, and using an intense furnace, incapacitate him!.. C'mon Santo, damn!!

They take him to a small room, tie him up and shut the door...

Then, they turn up the heat!! I don't quite understand, but that furnace seems to be the source of a lot of trouble!

Somehow, Santo, half baked, gets untied and goes to the door and breaks the glass. He opens the door and goes after the sadists. I mean, they were all laughing their asses off watching him suffer through the ordeal!

In another part of the building is this insane machine, for what, who knows, but, it seems to be a great place for a fight! Finally, one henchman ends up in a well deserved, steaming cauldron.

In the meantime, Santo's friends escape their bonds after the boss man gets distracted. He was ready to operate on them, talk about timing!! Dude calls the police.

The boss puts up a good fight, but Santo is too much for him. He charges like a bull but Santo just steps to his side and the evil POS falls head first into his own devilish pit of Hell fire!!

Okay, so the police show up, Santo gives them the skinny and just walks away into the night, like he always does... Join us on Wednesday when Eegah!! takes over the 'post' button, here, at The Dungeon!!..

AROUND THE WORLD, UNDER THE SEA - "Hold Your Breath" (1966)

Here's a real interesting Saturday Night Special for you that was made in 1966, and it's called...

"Around The World, Under The Sea."

"Around The World, Under The Sea" is a movie about a team of civilians out to set up a series of underwater earthquake monitors, so we've got a better chance of seeing those suckers coming, and might have a chance to avoid major destruction from future Tsunamis etc.

This movie has an all-star cast that includes Gary Merrill as Dr. August 'Gus' Boren. Gary Merrill was in "Mysterious  Island," "The Twilight Zone" episode titled "Still Valley," and "The Outer Limits" episode titled "The Human Factor," among his 112 credits.

 

This is our first introduction to Shirley Eaton's character Dr. Margaret E. Hanford!

This is our second introduction to Dr. Hanford, also known as Maggie!
Maggie will turn out to be the only female on the team.

All the team members have to recruited, and they all have special water skills! Keenan Wynn lives in this fantastic underwater dwelling!

Slacker supreme, Keenan has only 281 credits to his name. Included in there is "The Twilight Zone" episode called "A World Of His Own," and a whole bunch of performances as colorful characters with names like Harvey Huntington Honeywagon, and/or Colonel 'Bat' Guano.

You couldn't go wrong in the 60's using Lloyd Bridges in an underwater flick after his successful run as Mike Nelson in 155 episodes of "Sea Hunt"from 1958 to 1961.

"Around The World, Under The Sea" is another Ivan Tors/Ricou Browning underwater matchup! Ivan was responsible for "Island Of The Lost," and the whole "Sea Hunt" series, and Ricou was the man inside the "Creature From The Black Lagoon" movies. The two of them together were responsible for  the "Flipper" TV series! These two guys together have more experience shooting oceanic scenes than anyone I'm pretty sure!

Marshall (Cult Of The Cobra, Fiend Without A Face, It! The Terror From Beyond Space) Thompson is Dr. Orin Hillyard.

How's  Dr. Hillyard going to make it with Maggie with a name like Orin Hillyard?

Speaking of unfortunate names, how about the composer of the music in this film, 

Harry Sukman?

I told you the cast was awesome. Here's David (Illya Kuryakin) McCallum as Dr. Philip Volker. David was also in two of "The Outer Limits" Episodes, "The Sixth Finger," and "The Forms Of Things Unknown." I've never ever seen one, but David McCallum has been on the show "NCIS" for 389 episodes, or the last sixteen years! Amazing!!

All the Doctors have a thing for Maggie!

This was just too good of a shot to only use once!

The Father in the "Flipper" series, Brian Kelly fit into this role quite nicely! Brian had a horrible motorcycle accident four years later that ended his acting career, but he still went on to be the Executive Producer of "Blade Runner."

Get ready cause here it comes!

Ka-Blooey!!

I'll just leave you with these last two shots!

It's looks so cool when you have to cram six people into one tight shot and get away with it!

Mr. Sukman won an Oscar in 1961 for the music in a movie called "Song Without End."

Other Ivan Tors films that Harry Sukman composed music for were "Riders To The Stars," and "Gog." There's one copy of the soundtrack LP with this great cover on Discogs for $6.50, but after that they are $20.00 and up!