THE LAST HORROR FILM - Joe Spinell (1982)

Tonight's Saturday Night Special is dedicated to my dear friend Zillagord, since he's the only person I know that is sleazier than Joe Spinell in this flick, and he knows just exactly why!

It's sometimes known as "The Last Horror Movie," or sometimes..

"Fanatical Extreme!"

Joseph J. Spagnuolo, aka Joe Spinell is Vinny, a super loser New York cab driver who wants to make movies!

Vinny is slightly obsessed with a beautiful actress named Jana Bates!

Vinny's fanatical fandom for Jana, who is going to be at the Cannes Film Festival, makes him decide to go there, and plead with her to be in his movie!

Once in Cannes, this movie goes one hundred percent Screaming Yellow Bonkers with a Zima Bloody Mary chaser!

Vinny has many visions of his fame and fortune, but unfortunately for him, they're only in his head!

If life was a pinball machine, then this movie got tilted!

Let the carnage begin!!

SAY CHEESE!!

Dungeon super-heroine Caroline Munro is the good sport actress Jana Bates that Vinny is so fixated on! Right here, she looks like she just tried one of my refrigerator pickles!

You can read about some of Caroline's other fantastic films including "Star Crash" (Which also featured Joe Spinell), "The Golden Voyage Of Sinbad," and "Don't Open Till Christmas" right

HERE!

So, one by one, all the people associated with Jana Bates are getting gruesomely picked off, and Vinny seems to be up to his neck in some serious bullshit!

There's no shortage of nudity, that's for sure but then they are in the French Riviera, where people aren't so uptight about that thing because they don't eat cheeseburgers five times a week!!

Vinny is a little insecure and calls his Mom a few times to tell her how successful he is!

I love this part! Vinny's Mother is played by Filomena Spagnuolo, aka Mary Spinnel, who is actually Joe Spinell's real Mom! She also has 13 other acting credits!

They also don't eat French Fries with those Cheeseburgers in Cannes!

Brilliant location choice for a film!

Vinny's wild obsession with Jana Bates makes him do fun things like project her face on his naked body!

Vinny goes to a strip club, and this hot stripper drives him so insane that he jumps on the stage and starts humping her! He's quickly removed from the premises!

Vinny's visions are pretty comical most of the time!

After getting snubbed time and time again, Vinny decides to try the more direct approach!

This doesn't work out to well for him either!

Now Jana is out of there and off running down the street, but when the people of Cannes recognize her, they just all think it's a publicity stunt, and don't try and help her at all!!

The end is a twisted mess of a movie inside a movie!

In his own warped mind, Vinny thinks he's the big winner instead of the big loser that he really is!

The final scene shows Vinny and his Mother sharing a joint! 

To tell you the truth, I didn't really like "The Last Horror Film" that much when I was watching it, but after it was over, I kept thinking, you know, that really wasn't that bad of a movie!!
Joe Spinell died in 1989 at the age of 52, and his Mother passed away two years earlier in 1987 at the age of 83. What a killer family!
So, let's just hope North Korea and the United States stop their chest thumping shenanigans, or this just might truly be "The Last Horror Film!"
Oh, and I just found out, if you have an Amazon Prime account, you can watch this movie for nothing, and I suggest you do!

COOL SERIAL MOVIE POSTERS!

Since Tabonga! is having more technical difficulties, we go to plan 6. In other words, here are some cool Serial Movie Posters from days past...

We start with FLASH GORGON CONQUERS THE UNIVERSE from the thirties, Buster Crabbe was probably my favorite actor when I was growing up in the fifties.

Judd Holdren stars in THE LOST PLANET, CONQUEROR OF SPACE in the fifties. Shown is the poster for chapter 5, "The Atomic Plane!"

Also from the fifties came RADAR MEN FROM THE MOON, featuring the rocket-pack flying hero, Commander Cody.

But, before that came KING OF THE ROCKET MEN from the late forties, starring Tristram (FLIGHT TO MARS) Coffin and Mae (FRANKENSTEIN) Clarke.

Here's a nice poster from THE BATMAN from 1943 starring Lewis Wilson, who only had 16 acting credits, but ended up in THE THREE STOOGES FOLLIES in archive footage in 1974.

In 1948, Columbia brought us our Man Of Steel, SUPERMAN, starring Kirk Alyn.

Great poster for RETURN OF CAPTAIN MARVEL from the early forties starring Tom Tyler. Tom ended up with a whopping 183 acting credits.

Also from the early forties came THE GREEN HORNET STRIKES AGAIN! It stars Warren Hull as Green Hornet and the popular Keye Luke as Kato.

Love this poster for THE FIGHTING DEVIL DOGS from 1938 starring Lee (FLASH GORDON CONQUERS THE UNIVERSE) Powell, chapter 1... "The Lightning Strikes!"

Then we have DRUMS OF FU MANCHU from 1940, Henry (SECRET AGENT X-9) Brandon plays the title character.

Love this poster for THE SPIDER RETURNS from 1941, Warren Hull stars again in this one as Richard Wentworth, The Spider and Blinky McQuade! What the Hell?!

This is my favorite poster of the lot, PANTHER GIRL OF THE KONGO from 1955, because of that weird looking tentacled monster at the top!

We'll end with this great poster for FLASH GORDON'S TRIP TO MARS from 1938. Buster Crabbe had 113 acting credits, THE ALIEN DEAD was one of his last films... So, there you go, come back tomorrow when we'll have more for you, here, at The Dungeon!

TERRAHAWKS - Season 01, Episode 01 - "Expect The Unexpected" (1983)

"TERRAHAWKS!"

"Expect The Unexpected!" That's exactly what I'm talking about!

 "TERRAHAWKS" is another Gerry Anderson production, so one thing you shouldn't expect is real people, even if it's a freakin' emergency!

Alternate titles for "TERRAHAWKS" are:

"Jastrebovi Zemlje!"   and......

.....The ever popular ......

"A Brigada Falcão!"

The "TERRAHAWKS" are out to save the world!

We could probably really use them today!

In the year 2020 Earth is under threat from Martian androids who want revenge on the human race. Ironically, Zaeger and Evans didn't predict this was going to happen until the year 2525! The perpetrators are Zelda, (Not to be confused with the video game) her son Yung-star, and her sister Cy-star. (Kind of like "Orphan Black," Sister, Seester, Systar)

A group of defenders is set up on Earth called "TERRAHAWKS," that is top secret to the rest of the world. So, Shhhhhhh!!!

And here they are, the "TERRAHAWKS!"

 I'm using the title sequence shots because, frankly, they're better than the stills I would have gotten from the story itself! The actors doing the voices take on multiple characters, like Lt. Hiro is done by Jeremy (always in the kitchen at parties) Hitchin

Lt. Hawkeye is voiced by Robbie (Littlebigplanet video game) Stevens, and Capt. Kate Kestrel is voiced by Anne (Dr. Gemma Corwyn) Ridler!

Capt. Mary Falconer, and the voice of Zelda are both done by Denise (Labyrinth) Bryer!

"Flaming Thunderbolts!"

Dr. Tiger's voice is also done by Jeremy Hitchen!

Wasn't there an 80's alternative band called Zelda and the Zeroids? 

If not, there sure should have been!! I guess it's not too late!