IDO ZERO DAISAKUSEN (Latitude Zero) - Akira Ifukube - "Latitude Attitude" (1969)

I was flabbergasted by how bad movie this really was, and it's not hardly worth a mention here. There's so much money and talent wasted, and it comes across as a bad 'Power Rangers' episode with plastic acting by almost everyone!

 

It's Toho, it's Ishirô Honda, it's got Richard Jaeckel right after doing "Green Slime," and there's Akira Takarada and Jospeh Cotten all doing the worst performances of their life! 

 At the beginning, you think it's going to be camp like a 'Batman' TV series with Cesar Romero as 'The Joker' but no, instead it's mostly just crap, and Patricia Medina as Lucretia possibly turns in one of the most atrocious acting jobs ever! Ouch!!!! 

 Now, they're back, all immune in their gold lame Elvis outfits to make them completely invulnerable!

 Then, somebody decided they didn't look stupid enough, so they put on the gold caps and goggles!! Sheeesh!! "Are we not men??" 

 

This stupid stuffed animal looking monster looks cross-eyed and this professor and his daughter look like they are watching the dailies of this dumb movie!! The moronic giant rats and guy in a stuffed animal lion suit didn't fare much better either!

 Some of the postcard pics of their underwater nirvana look pretty neat, but that's not quite enough to save this film! And even the music by Akira Ifukube is really not that special this time! It's a whole bunch of "Latitude Attitude" and all you get is a big ZERO!

HOUSE ON BARE MOUNTAIN - Pierre Martel - "The Halloween Party" (1962)

Stretching the definition of a "Monster Movie" to the outer limits would be to suggest that a film like "House On Bare Mountain" was even remotely close to be a horror, science fiction or monster movie, but, to be sure, this very insipidly stupid film has some really great music in it!

 

It takes off with a greasy sounding take on "The Green Door" and then goes into some ultra swingin' 60's Vegas strip bar burlesque surf music with some Southern baked chicken pickin' guitar and seemingly endless honkin' sax! 

 

Pierre Martel is given the musical credits. Information on Pierre was hard to come by, he's either a professional wrestler, a banker, or got a liver transplant, but most likely, none of the above! It's possible the only information on the man is when the credits roll by! Music...........Pierre Martel!

 These type of movies sure didn't come to our little town when we were kids!! Pretty scary!!

 

Frankie spikes the punch and that's when all the inhibitions leave and all the tops fly off!

 This right here is the scariest part of the movie, oh, and Bob Cresse in the part of Granny Good, that's pretty frightening too!

 

In this one shot, it really looks like they were slam dancing back in 1962!! This movie is available on Netflix! They don't have "Forbidden Planet" but they have "House On Bare Mountain!" Go figure!!!! What kind of a world do we live in??

THE FLESH EATERS - "Rita Morely" - "It's A Wonder" (1964)

"Fish Heads, Fish Heads, Eat 'em up! Yum!" This fish looks like it might be just a little bit overcooked! Oh, it's "Flesh Eaters" not "Fish Eaters!" Now it makes more sense! Presenting: The insidiously evil Professor Peter Bartell and his best friend, a radioactive fish!! 

 

Rita Morley was great in "The Flesh Eaters" as the wealthy lush Laura Winters. The cinematography was excellent throughout this film by Carson Davidson, the only time he ever opted for the job, too bad, he had a great eye! 

 

This little song is from a particularity touching scene where Laura was trying to get her mobile liquor cabinet retrieved back from the ocean. After much research, I still haven't been able to determine exactly who to credit for the vocals on this song, but I have no reason to believe it's not Rita herself. 

 

So, here you go, before she gets the crap kicked out of her by that loving character Martin Kosleck as the insanely cruel and devious Professor Peter Bartell, here's "It's A Wonder!"

 Uh, Laura didn't quite exactly make it to the end of the movie, thanx to the professor!!!!

 This Daddy of all the little Flesh Eaters was a big ugly, smelly, noisey, good old fashioned for-real monster. All that fancy stuff they got today, but they just don't make monsters like this anymore!!! I guess it isn't such a wonder after all!

KISS ME , MONSTER (Bésame Monstruo) - "Sexodelic Disco Party" - (1969)

The subtlety of fake innocence was over by 1969, and it was time for a new era of debauchery. They were known as Dance Clubs or the dreaded Discos! 

 

In the movie "Kiss Me, Monster", the joint was jumpin' and the music was raw and pumpin', just one big sweaty rave-up, not like some square uptown city disco. Maybe Jerry van Rooyen did the music, and it doesn't swing like any of Dan White's work, so I think this band is just some local guys that Jesus Franco picked up somewhere, and they are jammin'!!!! 

 The scene might be a disco-type club, but the music is pure hardcore funk to the bone! 

 

I'm not really even sure why this fairly long scene is in this movie, but, do you care? Me neither! It makes as much sense as anything else in this film! Just Turn It Up Already!!! Jump, Shout, And Shake It All About!

THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD - Dimitri Tiomkin - "It's Not Dead" (1951)

Dimitri Tiomkin gets the real music composition credits for "The Thing", but the playing of the theremin by Dr. Samuel Hoffman in key scenes is just as important in the overall soundtrack. We already touted the amazing skills of both these two men, and you can find it in our archives, so there's not much more to add, except, Enjoy this little piece from a film unlike any other!!

 Doesn't really turn out that he's so smart after all! 

 

When "The Thing" wakes up, it's "Exit! Stage right!!" Guns a blazing, because...That Thing's Alive!!

 When I was a kid and I first saw this picture for the original artwork from John Campbell's book in Famous Monsters Of Filmland magazine, I thought it was one of the scariest images I'd ever seen!!

LA MUJER MURCIELAGO (The Batwoman) - Leo Acosta - "A Brief Musical Synopsis" (1968)

Translated into English as "The Batwoman"

 Italian born Maura Monti as The Batwoman was, and is still to this day, Hot!! 

 

The Batwoman's black convertible T-Bird is red hot, in that 113 degree heat!! 

 

Maura Monti was also in some other outstanding Mexican wrasslin' movies like "Santo El Enmascardo De Plata vs La Invasión De Los Marcianos" and "Blue Demon Destructor De Espías!!!!" 

 The music in this film by Leo Acosta is as fine as the best tequila in your local mercado, and sometimes as confusing as the name of this boat. Is it now, or an homage to another era?? 

 

Nifty little poolside record player! You'll have to try and find a copy of this movie to see how bad that 45 is warped! Buena Suerte!!!

FACE OF THE SCREAMING WEREWOLF - Luis Hernández Bretón - "Werewolf Rampage" (1964)

That Jerry Warren was one bent cat. Andy Partridge of the English Band XTC, had an album where he reused a bunch of his old stuff all mixed together in a new form, and he called it, "The Lure Of Salvage," and I think that explains the Jerry Warren phenomenon as good as anything. Always hoping to find or create buried treasures, "Face Of The Screaming Werewolf" was a mix of two Mexican films, "La Casa Del Terror" from 1960 and "La Momia Azteca," from 1957 with some added footage from Jerry in an effort to make it more cohesive supposedly! Werewolves are quite a vicious lot as a whole, whereas Vampires move slow and slink around in the dark, Werewolves just come after you with everything they got!!!! The very dynamic music by Mexican composer Luis Hernández Bretón works so well in this scene where the Werewolf is going after these doctors tooth and nail, it is a perfect.............Werewolf Rampage!!! I do believe I could outrun Frankenstein or a Mummy, but I sure don't want to tangle with no Werewolf!!! This would be the last time Lon Chaney Jr. played a Werewolf in a film!