This week's Saturday Night Special is like a lukewarm bath, it still feels good, but not great. The IMDB entry starts off with "Amazing Italian movie..." but again, not half bad, but no way near amazing!
This Italian film was made in 1966, and is called "Ray Master l'inafferrabile," and released in English as "Diamonds Are A Man's Best Friend."
Not that many years ago, I searched out this film, and finally found a
copy on a website now deceased, but these days you lucky people can
watch it by just clicking on this link, and I hate to say it, but it's even a better looking copy than the one I have. There's just one little thing, it's not in English!
The star of "Ray Master l'inafferrabile," is Félix (Elevator To The Gallows) Marten as a very suave and tricky thief named John Martin.
The object of his affection is a crown jewel called "The Mountain Of Light!"
The jewel is worth a million dollars, and it seems like John Martin and his team spend about two million trying to steal it.
The crowd is in awe of the jewel's beauty!
John Martin stalls out the elevator, rides on top of the adjacent one, steps over and reaches in, and he's got it! But if it was that simple, the movie would only be ten minutes long, in fact, that's not even the real jewel.
John realizes he's being tailed, so he takes a picture of the guy, and then hands it to him, so he realizes that they are onto him!
I was really hoping this cool looking band was going to play some good music, but to my despair, they don't, and instead we get more oobie doobie vocals from Maestro "Mah Nà Mah Nà," Piero Umiliani.
This fancy miniature spy-type radio is hidden in a book about the size of "The People's Almanac."
Here you can see how thick the book is. I would think reading a book that thick while you are at the pool would be more suspicious that the little radio inside. The woman in the pool is John's gal-pal-enemy-lover Veronica Turner as played by Liana (The Devil In Love) Orfei.
The jewel is super protected by guards and video cameras, but John and his crew are able to replace the video footage, so when they're stealing the diamond, it still looks like it is safely where it belongs.
It's all too scientific for me, but somehow they are able to levitate John, so he doesn't step on the floor and set off the alarms.
This time he got the real thing!
Veronica is not treated very nicely by anyone on either side, and is slapped, pushed around, and tied up a couple of times before the movie is over.
To avoid getting caught with the jewel in customs, John's buddy has a pair of binoculars that also act like a high-powered blowgun, so before he boards the plane, he stops for a second, and his pal shoots it into his briefcase in a special container.
Another gang that wants the diamond threatens to make John permanently blind, but for some reason, they don't follow through, and just throw him in a locked room instead!
I think I could have easily just shown you all the various outfits Veronica wears over the course of the movie, and it would have been just as interesting!
The bad guys finally get the jewel, and put it in this Hotel's safe. John then shows up, and says he needs to store some expensive electronic e quipment for the night. Once the safe's door is locked, John's box opens up, and a midget gets out and reclaims the jewel!
The final switcheroo finds the jewel stashed inside the butt of John's umbrella.
John and Veronica have a good laugh in the end, but it's really not very funny!
2 comments:
I thought diamonds were a GIRL’S best friend?
I thought so too. Some times you have to find out the hard way!
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