Here's one for a Friday, Daffy pitches his massive script to J. L. Warner for an adventure movie set in merry olde England, with him as the star, The Scarlet Pumpernickel. Chuck Jones and Michael Maltese deliver the good while Mel Blanc does all the voices (even Elmer Fudd) except for The Fair Melissa, voiced by Bea Benaderet.
So, Daffy's in JL's office, ready to pitch his epic movie adventure...
Here we go, the script is like 2000 pages!
It starts with the handsome swashbuckling Scarlet Pumpernickel thwarting the king's men as they chase him through the English countryside.
When The Fair Melissa is caught swooning over the masked bandit, the King gets plenty angry! We see Melissa's Lady-In-Waiting, Momma Bear, there playing the harp.
Prince Sylvester receives a note from the King, he will have The Fair Melissa's hand in marriage, and keep her from the clutches of The Scarlet Pumpernickel...
Scarlet Pumpernickel shows up in disguise as a weary young traveler, he'd like a room for the night after his journey.
He visits the King and Sylvester, this is hilarious. The word is out, The Scarlet Pumpernickel may be dressed like a weary young traveler. While Daffy's being questioned about who he is, he says that he just might be the one they're looking for...
It's the wedding day and The Fair Melissa cries all the way to the alter.
There's only one way for Daffy to get to the top of the castle to break up the wedding!
The Fair Melissa grabs her duck and makes a b-line out of the castle.
Daffy takes a pause from reading the script but JL wants to know, what happens next?
So, Daffy and Melissa have holed up at the pub. The Pumpernickel has to go do battle with the bad guys and in the meantime, Sylvester locates his damsel in distress.
Daffy hears Melissa's screams and swings in on a rope, but misses the window. Then it's a duel to the death with Sylvester...
Daffy runs out of pages and wings it when he's asked... What happens next?
There's a terrible storm and there's so much water that the dam breaks!
What happens next?.. Well, there's a volcano that covers over everything with lava!
So, what happens next? asks JL once again. Daffy says, there's only one thing left for The Scarlet Pumpernickel to do! He pulls the trigger...
He rises up and ends with, you have to kill yourself to get a script accepted in Hollywood!!
1 comment:
Ouch! (That's actually not totally untrue!)
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