TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN - David Lynch (2017)

"Twin Peaks: The Return!"
I was expecting the unexpected but I wasn't expecting this for various reasons! So, let's get it on, and if you happened to see this show, then please feel free to let me know if you liked it or not, because, I basically thought that for the most part it was a lot of gratuitous artistic bullshit!

Now I love artistic gratuitous bullshit as much as the next guy, but it's said that there is a time and a place for everything. I just think that this was the not the time, or the place to lay it on thicker than chunky peanut butter! My 94 year old Mother sat through the whole ordeal, and I'll just say this, she said it was the worst thing she's ever seen, and I have to agree that watching a couple of episodes of "Walker, Texas Ranger" would probably been a more productive use of time!

I'm pretty sure I'll watch all 18 episodes, and like a lot of it, but for the first two episodes, there are only brief minutes out of two hours that seem even remotely connected to the original series. Look, this an awesomely beautiful shot of New York City, but the interior shots all look like TV soap operas, and the acting is so stiff, it can only be deliberate, and a lot of time there is no music at all which makes it even weirder, so I guess that's what they wanted, but it sure wasn't working for me!

I don't think this should be considered video comfort food by any means!

Transition to new people and stories can be difficult, so it looks like David Lynch just said, "Fuck It, I'll do whatever I want!"  In the new "Twin Peaks" I think there is a lot of meaningless nonsense presented as story that is supposed to make the viewer try and figure out something that was implicated, when there was nothing really there at all, except nonsense! And the dream sequences are like watching somebody having a colonoscopy in real time!

Somehow in 25 years, The Coopster has gone from being the most naive likeable FBI agent on the planet to a "Psycho Killer.....Qu'est-ce que c'est!" So....

What is it?? There's some seriously weird shit going on here!

New characters are added and removed, all in the wink wink of an eye!

 Jeez, Laura Palmer turned into Courtney Love, and even though there's no mention of vampires, she must be one, because what other kind of dead people still get old?

And indeed there are lots of gorgeous women to fill in all those gaps left over from the original show, they just don't have recurring roles in this new series!

"Bang, Bang," David Lynch shot me down, but just like some psycho ex-girlfriend, I'm sure he's going to try and make it up to me! (No flowers David, thanks, just send cash please!)
Anyway, that's just my humble opinion, and also the reason I don't watch a lot of current movies or TV shows!

And why not have a cherry on top ending with synthpop post-punk Portland band Chromatics playing in a Redneck bar, because it makes as much sense as anything else in this Lynch party!