Saturday, December 12, 2015

DON'T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS - Caroline Munro - "I'm The Warrior Of Love" (1984)

 Well, there ain't much we can do anymore that hasn't been done before; all we can do is put our own spin on it! That being said, tonight's Saturday Night X-Mas Special has been a public domain film for some time even though it was only made in 1984, and why? Well, honestly, who the Hell in modern civilized society wants to see Santa Claus get murdered viciously at least nine times in one movie!? Can you say bummer??
As this German DVD case clearly shows, this is not a film for the kiddies! 
I think the general sentiment was don't open this at all, like never, unless.........

Historically, Soho has been a hotbed of entertainment in movies for years!
This go round we have a series of Santa Claus murders, and it's not even written by Edgar Wallace!

I lost count, but I think there are a total of nine Santas that brutally eat it in this movie, and most of them are either drunks or perverts!

There's the Experience Santa, the Theatre Santa, the Dungeon Santa, the Store Santa, the Market Santa, the Circus Santa and more!

Oh, Yeah, Don't forget the sexy birds in Santa outfits!

When the perv Santa gets his just rewards, this peep show gal can't identify the killer because there was so much blood splattered on the glass!

Like they were even trying, this film creates absolutely no sympathy for all the future dead Santas! They're all basically worthless anyway!

Even Santa has to go sometime!

The reindeer are going to go hungry tonight!

Then suddenly out of all this mirth and mayhem comes this scene!

The tantalizing Caroline (Starcrash) Munro as herself does a musical number called "I'm The Warrior Of Love" that just screams 1984!!
This is some seriously WTF!? stuff!!!!

But before the song ends, yet another Santa bites the dust!

It's almost too much for Caroline to take! 
Even though she's only in this movie for two or three minutes, I saw a couple of VHS/DVD covers that displayed her name as one of the stars!

In a pretty gruesome yet comical scene, this Santa gets his weenie lopped off!

Sweet component combination turntable and cassette player!

This is where all the animosity towards Santa is revealed! 
Seems the kid saw more that just Mama kissing Santa Claus!

And to all a good night!

1 comment:

Greg Goodsell said...

My fave killer Santa story is the one at the beginning of TALES FROM THE CRYPT (1972). When the maniac dressed as Saint Nick fondles Joan Collins through a window, I through my popcorn high in the air!

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