TALES OF TOMORROW / "Read To Me, Herr Doktor" - 1953

In this strange tale, Professor Kimworth has built himself a robot to read to him as his eyes are in pretty bad shape. But the robot starts to take on the personalities of the heroic characters in the books he's reading to the professor...

It stars Mercedes McCambridge as Patricia Kimworth, Everett Sloane as Professor Kimworth, William Kemp as Sidney Strong and Ernest Graves as the Robot.

Professor Kimworth is enjoying the story his robot is reading to him. He's interrupted when his daughter Patricia comes in to tell him that one of his former students is there to visit him.

Former student Sidney Strong (I swear to god, William Kemp has the longest forehead I've ever seen! He should have been an alien in THIS ISLAND EARTH) shows up t at Professor Kimworth's place for a little visit. When he asks the professor what he's been up to, well, take a look...

Holy freaking cow, what's THAT?!! I know the professor is a professor and all, but seriously!! Maybe he should have gotten some fifth grader to give him some pointers! Anyway, Sidney sits and listens to him read, after the professor tells it, read to me, Herr Doktor, a quote from one of the professor's favorite stories.

On his way out though, Patricia tells Sidney that she hates the robot, and that her dad is actually having conversations with it...

After Sidney leaves, the robot attacks the professor, and tells him that he must help it become a man. It forces the professor to read scientific books so it can attain knowledge.

Then things really go off the rails!! The robot lets Patricia know its intentions, it's madly in love with her, it wants to be her knight in shining armor, like in the stories he's been reading.

Sidney shows up and the robot threatens to harm the professor if she doesn't send him away, which she eventually does.

The robot makes more advances toward Patricia, the professor tries to shut the thing off but fails in his attempt.

Patricia, after listening to it repeat lines from Romeo and Juliet, tells the robot that ...THE BOOKS ARE WRONG!!

The robot just repeats... The books are wrong, the books are wrong.. It goes over to its seat and sits down, and hangs its head. The professor opens it up and pulls something out, it's the heart mechanism, and it's broken!.. What the Hell man, LAME!

And, we say goodbye to this cardboard robot from the junk heap of time. Good Riddance!!

Speaking of 2 cent robots, here's a Cinder Blockhead with an Eyeball I made back when we were making movies. Sucker was heavy!!

Here's one I made out of cardboard and two plastic parts, pretty cheap-ass, no?

THE NEW AVENGERS - "The Last Of The Cybernauts...??" (1979)

It's Weird Wednesday time again down in The Dungeon, and what do you know, it's the third and last tale of The Cybernauts. I didn't have the means to do this, and lo, and behold, Lord Litter finds it for me! How that works, I have no clue, but I'm just glad it does!

Twelve years passed before they brought The Cybernauts back for the final appearance, BUT, I'm willing to bet that some day in the future, The Avengers will appear again in some form, and when they do, I'm sure there will be yet another encounter with The Cybernauts.

"The New Avengers" ran for 26 episodes in the late 70's. It had been almost ten years since Patrick Macnee played John Steed, and they passed most of the heavy lifting over to Joanna (Some Girls Do) Lumley as Purdey, and a different male lead, Gareth (Arak in Dr. Who) Hunt as Mike Gambit. Gareth passed away in 2007, and Joanna is still working today.

Purdey is all woman!! The kind that can climb a chain link fence in a dress, kick your butt after she gets over it, and still look gorgeous the whole time. Wikipedia says they were going to originally call her Charley, and that Joanna came up with the name Purdey, which was also the name of a shotgun manufacturer.

Why is this guy standing on John Steed's head you might ask?

The whole room is full of images of John Steed, Gambit and Purdey, and not because this guy is a big fan, instead, it's just the opposite, blaming them for his condition!

Sorry, but it doesn't pay to be a jerk, and it doesn't pay to mess with The Avengers, new or old!

Freakface Felix Kane is the double agent out for revenge! He's not happy!

When things go his way, he has his assistant help him put on his happy face!

Robert (Rentadick) Gillespie as Frank Goff just got out of prison after 10 years, and has been abducted by Felix Kane, because Frank was the guy who built the first Cybernauts for Dr. Armstrong. Felix wants to get the program going again.

But Frank is merely a mechanic to Felix. He was able to get The Cybernauts going again, but Felix wants to move ahead, and for that he needs a scientist, not a mechanic, so he disposes of Frank like a piece of litter tossed out of the car!

The Cybernaut designs didn't improve much in 10 years, but they are still dangerous!

Purdey might be pretty, but she can't spell. She tries to pass 'sighbernort' off as 'cybernaut' in a Scrabble game with Gambit.

Felix reveals his disfigured face, but we don't get to see it now, or ever!

The new Cybernaut is on a tear. They kidnapped a scientist, but he needs some of his highly guarded equipment to do what Felix demands, so they send The Cybernaut out to get it.

This is just a great WTF!? shot!!

Here's the thing about Cybernauts, you can't fight them and win, and you can't shoot them, but pushing them so they drop eight or nine stories is pretty efficient!

Felix doesn't mind losing The Cybernaut, because what he really wants is to become a living Cybernaut himself!

Just like Mrs. Peel, Purdey has a wide variety of outfits that she wears!

It's literally fitting since Joanna was one of the world's leading top models in the swingin' 60's, before becoming an actress.

Felix Kane's style on the other hand is questionable!

Felix and Purdey have quite the battle, when Steed shows up with what I thought was spray paint, and all three Avengers douse Kane, and once again, The Cybernaut comes to a complete halt.

What I thought was paint was actually liquid skin, and that brings us to what I also thought was a strange way to finish off The Cybenauts once and for all!

LOONEY TUNES / Daffy and Speedy In "A-Haunting We Will Go" - 1966

Here's one from Saturday morning kids TV, it came out the same year Eegah!! and I graduated from high school, but I digress...

I guess this one would be good for Halloween Countdown, but heck, I'm still in my March Madness Mode... So, we start at Witch Hazel's house.

Daffy's nephew is out trick or treating, but when Witch Hazel answers the door, she's the one that says.. Trick or Treat! The little guy makes a bee line back to his uncle's place. He tells Daffy that a witch lives in that old house across the way. Daffy tells his nephew that there is no such thing as a witch, and he's going over there to prove it!

In the meantime, the witch is brewing up her potions when it crosses her mind that all she does is work, and that she needs a well earned vacation...

What the heck!! It'll warp your brain to try and figure out why Speedy would live there, but by this time the WB stories were nothing but derivative. At least the artwork was good here.

Anyway, the witch changes Speedy into a copy of herself to hang out while she goes to Hawaii for a quick vacation. Although Speedy acts like Witch Hazel, he still has his own voice! So, the witch heads out on her broom for a rest...

Daffy shows up and is pulled inside for a nice cup of tea brewed up by Speedy...

But since he doesn't know at all what he's doing with Hazel's special ingredients, he turns Daffy into that Screw Ball thing he was a few years earlier in another cartoon.

Witch Hazel is back in town, and when she flies into her house, she crashes into the wall.

She changes Speedy back to himself and he speeds back inside his hole.

Now, she wants to change Daffy back into a duck...

But for a delicious reason, she hasn't had duck for ages!!

Daffy runs out of the witch's house but she gets on her broom and scoops him up. He jumps off  and deploys a parachute, only to have it changed into a big anvil by the witch, and it smashes down on his head!

As she's laughing away, she doesn't notice where she's going  and runs into a big boulder! I guess that evens things up a bit.

Daffy's nephew sees him and wants to know if he believes in witches now...

Of course Daffy says no, and starts giving his nephew all the reasons that witches don't exist. Welp, Eegah!! will have our last post in March on Wednesday, don't miss it.