Saturday, November 24, 2018

SINBAD OF THE SEVEN SEAS - "A Magical Adventure" (1989)

Thanksgiving might be over, but tonight's Dungeon fantasy adventure proves one of two things, you can either be thankful that you've seen this movie, or you can be thankful that you haven't seen it. I don't think there is any middle ground! That being said, welcome to yet another Saturday Night Special in The Dungeon!

"Sinbad Of The Seven Seas" was made in 1989 and starred "The Hulk" himself, Mr. Lou Ferrigno!

They got me from the start when they said that Edgar Allen Poe wrote this tale about the mighty Sinbad the Sailor. Edgar Allen might have wrote it, but some of the lines in this film are straight out of the 80's. Actually, this film is based on Poe's "The Thousand-and-Second Tale of Scheherazade," a story that included all kinds of weird anomalies that had they been part of the movie might have made it even better. I'm talking about things like Coralite, "an island, many hundreds of miles in circumference built in the middle of the sea by a colony of little things like caterpillars," and Maelzel's Chess Player, "a man out of brass and wood, and leather with such ingenuity that he would have beaten at chess, all the race of mankind," or Antlion, "myriads of monstrous animals with horns resembling scythes upon their heads who dig for themselves vast caverns in the soil, of a funnel shape."

The truly curious of you can read the whole story of "The Thousand-and-Second Tale of Scheherazade," for yourselves thanks to Wikisource!

This is the mean, evil, and wicked Jaffar as played by John (Yor, The Hunter From The Future) Steiner! Jaffar is a wild-eyed crazy man Hell bent on taking over everything, but mostly he just wants.......

.........Princess Alina to love him! The stunning Alessandra (Cave OfThe Golden Rose) Martines has the role of Alina!

Somehow Jaffar has a bunch of sophisticated equipment made of poly vinyl tubing and plastics from the future! It's all in vain though, because Alina will never love him!

Sinbad and his loyal crew comprised of Alina's boyfriend Ali (Roland Wybenga), the cook (Yehuda Efroni), a Samurai (Haruhiko Yamanouchi), a viking (Ennio Girolami), and a midget (Cork Hubbert) are set out on a mission to find some jewels of power that Jaffar has distributed in weird places scattered around the world!

Sinbad put his hand all the way through this demon and extracts it's heart which has this little face on it. As dumb as it might sound, I actually respect this movie because they somehow managed to make a movie in the 80's without any bad language, sex, or horrible gratuitous bloody violence!

No sex or nudity, but sexy as can be, here's the strikingly beautiful model Melonee Rodgers as the Amazon Queen Farida!

And just for the heck of it, they throw in American bodybuilder and writer Teagan Clive as Soukra, in a role bereft of meaning!

Big Lou gets a lot of on screen time destroying and tearing monsters limb from limb! In one of the earlier scenes, Sinbad is dropped into a pit of vipers, and he talks them into helping him. Just like in some cheap prison movie where the inmates tie sheets together to escape, Sinbad ties Cobras together. It will have you scratching your head in wonder no doubt!

Lucky for Sinbad, most of the creatures he has to face are hollow and lifeless forms that are pretty easy for him to handle! This rock monster is just as cool as the ones in "Missile To The Moon!"

Lou looks like he's having a good time for most of the film!

Jaffar is pulling out all the stops now, and traps Sinbad inside a cage of beams of light!

When nothing else works, what else can you do but make a copy of Sinbad to kick his own ass!

Sinbad Vs. Sinbad! Is this a great shot or what? It really shows you what a talented actor Lou really is! Lou's still working hard to this day and is in a handful of films in either pre or post production, so keep your eyeballs peeled!

From the start, the movie is presented as a bedtime story as read and narrated by Daria Nicolodi. Yes, the same Daria Nicolodi of "Phenomenon" and "Suspiria" fame!
As the world's longest bedtime story, this movie wasn't that bad, and it did serve it's purpose. I fell asleep at least seven times myself while watching it, but it was addicting, and every time I woke up, I went back for more!

Friday, November 23, 2018

DEATH KAPPA / King Kong Is Dead, Godzilla Is Retired, A New Monster Is In Town! - 2010

In today's old school Japanese giant monster saga, the Kappa, from Japanese folklore, are water goblins closely associated with a certain town in the country. But, the area is also home to a militant splinter group of researchers dedicated to developing amphibious super soldiers based on the Kappa monsters of legend.

So far, the Kappa has come to life and is now loose in the countryside. At the home of Kanako, who has a new CD out with her songs on it, she entertains the boys. They play one of the songs from her album...

And, here's the translation of one of the lines!!.. I fell off my chair! Curious about what that phrase means in Japanese!

Anyway, the Kappa is outside and starts to dance to the music! The three join in and it's nothing but a barrel of fun as they frolic around!

Later, Kanako is kidnapped by that group of militants, they want to capture the Kappa as they knew it would come to her rescue. The thing shows up and there's a big fight.

The whole organization is run by the granddaughter of a dead mad scientist. Thing is, she's even 'madder' than him!! She actually gives him a big, deep kiss!!

There's just something about this shot that I like.

What else?!.. A big old giant lizard monster shows up and starts leveling the city and flattens anyone that gets under foot!

The thing kicks a building which creates this awesome photo... Nice!

The newscasters are out covering the story as a huge atomic weapon goes rolling by. So, can it take out the giant invading monster?.. The answer is... NO!

Death Kappa shows up to take on the big lizard. Let the freakin' fight begin!!

Okay Death Kappa, you won the battle, say cheese! You can see that it's no slouch when it comes to destruction!!

Kanako comes to save the day, she sings a happy song and Kappa calms the Hell down...

So, Kappa goes back to the sea and everyone waves goodbye to the old water goblin. There you have it, tune in tomorrow because Eegah!! will definitely have something special for us!

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES - "Do Not Trust The Pilgrims" (1993)

 There's an old adage, "Turkey is what turkey does," and that's just exactly what The Dungeon brings you on this Turkey Eve! You figure it out!

 "Addams Family Values" came out in 1993. You know how values are, some times you get your money's worth, and some times you don't!

 This beautiful shot of the Addam's residence, and.....

 ......This awesome shot of Fester are worth every penny!

Anjelica Huston is Morticia this go round! I love how they illuminate her face like she's The Madonna! (Not Madonna but Mary!)

Raul Julia is Gomez Addams! But that's not why we're here!

We're here tonight because the Addams' kids have been sent off to Camp!

And at the camp, they're just getting ready for their Thanksgiving performance!

Many of the parents are there to watch their children perform!

"A Turkey Named Brotherhood." Great title!!

This turkey is worth the price of admission all by itself!

The camp counselors are so happy with their production, and then suddenly, the whole thing goes south in a very bad way!! So, let's just offend everybody!

Mercedes McNab is cute little Amanda Buckman as a pilgrim! She is now at a loss because......

Christina Ricci as Wednesday Addams as Pocohontas has just announced that she doesn't want to break bread with the pilgrims, and is going to scalp Amanda, and burn their village to the ground!

That's one thing you can do with all the extra pies flying around this time of the year!

They've got Amanda tied up and are ready to burn her at the stake.....

....And Wednesday's got the match!!!

The funny thing is, they actually play this pretty straight, so it's not funny as much as it is kind of terrifying!

Even though it was only 25 years ago, I'm not sure this Thanksgiving celebration would fly in today's hypersensitive politically correct society, but then I guess it's not any worse than "Blood Freak!"
Right Gordon?
Happy Thanksgiving Ya'll!!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??