ONE MILLION AC/DC / Canyon Films - 1969

I'll end my January posts with this unbelievably terrible little nudie caveman flick written by Ed Wood and filmed at the Bronson Caves, Bronson Canyon and Griffith Park. Read the blurb by Ed on the poster! He would go on to write LOVE FEAST, VENUS FLYTRAP, NYMPHO CYCLER, DROP OUT WIFE, THE SNOW BUNNIES and THE BEACH BUNNIES before his death in 1978 at age 54.

Here's a sound clip from this super schlock boob fest for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button over by our pile of plastic dinosaurs, NOW, Rufus The Gnat!.. Here's a taste of... ONE MILLION AC/DC!

Gary Kent stars as Olaf the caveman, seen here with his cave girlfriend. Gary is an amazing guy, besides his acting credits in movies like THE THRILL KILLERS, PSYCH-OUT, THE SAVAGE SEVEN, TARGETS, SATAN'S SADISTS and THE MIGHTY GORGA, he has 24 stunt credits, 6 writing credits, 5 directing credits, 8 production manager credits and 2 movies in post production!

I dunno, when you cast this guy as the clan leader, you lost me! Better hope the latrine is outside or there'll be a lingering stank in the cave that would kill a dinosaur!

There's the hippie cave artist who paints sexual positions and flashes the peace sign!

Here are the two realistic terror lizards that like to mess with the cave clan.

There're lots of scenes like this, topless chicks running through the woods at Griffith Park...

And sometimes, they're just plain naked!

It would be derelict in Ed's duty to not have at least a few cat fights with lots of skin showing!

They even use colored clips from ONE MILLION B.C. to fill in the blanks for prehistoric critters.

WHAT THE EFF?!!........

Olaf gets to sing the song at the end of the sound clip as he goes out to slay the lizard!

We're back tomorrow with more mayhem from The Dungeon Crew!

ÖLDÜREN ÖRÜMCEK - The Turkish Spiderman (1972)

Welcome to another Wacky Wild & Weird Wednesday in The Dungeon, and they don't get much wackier or weirder than these 70's flicks outta Turkey, and tonight's feature is definitely no exception!!

"ÖRÜMCEK" means Spiderman I guess, but this guy is more like some Japanese Power Ranger than he is like an American comic book! The theme song, and the music that comes on every time Spiderman kicks ass is totally pilfered from the instrumental break and drum solo from Iron Butterfly's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida," chopped up and regurgitated!

You get a lot of scenes like this in Turkish movies! Easy access to cool catacombs for guys on a budget!

Wow! A secret hiding place nobody has noticed for years because it blends in so well with the rest of the wall!

"But I don't know how to howl like the Wolfman!" (There's no sub-titles, so I just have to guess at what they're saying!)

As far as I have been able to discern, the word Patrón means the exact same thing in Turkish and in Spanish! The Patrón is The Boss, and he does not like to be disturbed or sign autographs when he's working!!

Time for a little break, and a minute from this lovely songbird!

The audacity of these swine, bugging The Boss when he's working again! Can't they see he's busy? What's wrong with these fools? (Doesn't this kind of look like a scene from Dr. Caligari?

Make no mistake, the party was on in 1972 Turkey, even if the musical instruments seen are not the same ones heard! This dancing gal was hot!

Finally Spiderman makes the scene, and he's got some serious interrupting to do!

The cool thing about this Spiderman compared to the American Spiderman is that when it gets right down to it, he'll just pull out his gun and shoot you, no screwing around!

While I'm on the subject of screwing around, these guys still haven't figured out not to bother El Patrón when he's working! No damn wonder he's pissed off all the time!

Here's a nice portrait of Örümcek aka Spiderman!

You've got to admit they've got some real lookers in Turkey! Just good luck trying to figure out what their names are!

The Police drive Ramblers! Can't go wrong there!!

Turkish Spiderman unmasks for the pretty lady, and she let's him know that she's not a Three Stooges fan!

These two go at it, and Turkish Spiderman doesn't take off anything except his helmet!

"Here I come to save the day!!!!"

This couple goes back to that hidden brick chamber to get the treasure, and the booty too! Spiderman shows up and kills them both!!

This would be the picture Turkish Spiderman would have used for his Facebook profile pic I'm sure!

In Turkey, I don't think they have a Boss's Day, and if they do, this day wasn't it! At least he won't have to worry about ever being disturbed again! Cabeza Shish Kabob! Okay, so where else can you download it or watch it for free? Only at The Internet Archive as far as I know!!

LAS MOMIAS DE SAN ÁNGEL / Producciones Fílmicas Agrasánchez S.A. - 1975

It's Back To Work Monday with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. Here's a wild and crazy flick from south of the border, our wrestling pals Mil Máscaras & Tinieblas not only have to fight another masked wrestler and his gang of thugs, they also have to take on a pack of mean old mummies controlled by a nutzoid old coot with mystical powers. By the way, that is my very cool poster used here, it's a super-sized lobby card.

Here's a little sound clip from this action packed Mexican flick, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our deep mummy pit, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula!.. Here's... LAS MOMIAS DE SAN ÁNGEL!

San Ángel is a neighborhood in Mexico City.

The movie starts with a wrestling match where big guy Mil Máscaras wins yet another match.

I like this photo showing that they shaved the rock cliff here to allow for a highway!

Might as well also show this great looking red Chevy Corvair ready to hit the road.

Here's the leader of the mummies, he has a room full of them that he can command through the use of spells he has at his disposal.

The movie also stars the great Lorena Velázquez, she was in a ton of Mexican Monster Movies like THE SHIP OF MONSTERS, SANTO CONTRA LOS ZOMBIES, SANTO vs. THE VAMPIRE WOMEN, WRESTLING WOMEN vs. THE AZTEC MUMMY and PLANET OF THE INVADING WOMEN.

There's lots of rough and tumble action, and, not just in the ring... ¡Híjole!

This is The Black Mask, he has a bone to pick with Mil. He sends out his henchmen to kill him and his pals, but...

He ends up being strangled and drowned by our muscular hero!.. Viva Mil Máscaras!!!

The old dude sends out his mummies yet again so the townspeople grab their torches, they're ready for an old fashioned monster rumble!

Woopsie!!.. Dude, those mummies are damn strong!!

The old mummy master is strong as Hell too, he pummels Mil from pillar to post until...

Mil grabs a torch and ends the nightmare! This is a fun little flick, in Spanish only but worth it for anyone who likes the old Mexican Monster Movies.

We're back again on Wednesday with more goods to satisfy your Dungeon addiction!