Monday, March 15, 2010

DER FLUCH DER GRÜNEN AUGEN - Herbert Jarczyk - "Cave Of The Living Dead" (1964)

So now you know where the term came from, I don't know if this film really is one or not, but it's not bad! This is an interesting film because it plays more like a German Edgar Wallace thriller even though it's also a vampire movie! Pretty Cool!!

Being as it's "International Week Of The Living Dead," we're proud to present our second installment in Living Dead Filmalistic Hysterical Histrionics and Hijinks, "The Cave Of The Living Dead" and it's a goodurn, hailing auf Deutschland this go round!!

Literally translated, it's "Curse Of The Green Eyes" and the US version was titled the so very original, "Night Of The Vampires," but whatever you want to call it, this Ákos Ráthonyi directed film is well worth a watch!!

Setting the mood and tempo of the film right out of the box with an opening theme by Herbert Jarczyk that swings hard!! Some of Herbert's other accomplishments are, he wrote the theme song for the long running German TV show, "Der Kommissar" and wrote the score on some films like "Two Times Adam, One Time Eve," "The Phony American," and "The Foggy Night Murderer, but mostly worked on strictly German films!

Adrian Hoven as Inspector Frank Dorin has just wrapped up one case, and has other things on his mind like some rest and recreation!

But the phone rings, and as much as he tries to weasel out of it, he is forced to take the call! This is exactly the reason I have an answering machine!!

Next thing you know, he's headed out on a cruise, and it's not to some lovely South Pacific island with white sand beaches!! No, that's not the way Frank's luck works! He's going some place much darker!

This is an atmospheric and spooky little film, and there were about six murders before the first reel ever got rolling!

Do you think the local villagers might be on to something when they start all that jabbering gossip about vampires? Well, that's what Frank Dorin has come here to find out!!

Straight out of "Ripley's Believe It Or Not," Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting for your pleasure, The world's smallest fireplace!! Maybe he's expecting Dopey and Sleepy to come over and drink some brews with him!

Firmly entrenched in the weird, Adrian Hoven went on to do a number of films with Jesus Franco before passing away way back in 1981! Here he's investigating several murders and the local's claims of vampires, when he decides to consult the neighborhood witch!

The witch explains a few things and shows Frank a little dance number in the fire she's been working on!

Well, how bout that? There is actually a real cave! Behind Frank you'll see John Kitzmiller as John, the black servant. John Kitzmiller was the first black person to win a best acting award at the Cannes Film Festival, for his role as Sergeant Jim in the film "Dolina Miru."

"Oh, C'mon, don't tell me you are going to wear that same hat again in this year's stupid hat contest? You didn't even place in last year's event!"

Well, we've got a new dance and it goes like this, Bop shooba, bop a bop a shooba, so shake those buns, Twistin' with the Nuns!!!

Uh, Oh, she's supposed to be dead!! Hey, what's going on here??

I don't know, these villager dudes don't look like they have anything to be scared of, more like the other way around! I don't think any self-respecting vampire is going to latch onto one of these cats, because looks like their breath alone would be deadly, so I'm sure their blood must be poison!

The vampire babes seems to be multiplying; they have a tendency to do that, and they've got more than just an eye on Frank. Good thing the guy is smart enough to wear a good old-fashioned crucufix around his neck!!

You've got to be a bit more duplicitous than that, if you want to try and sneak up on a cop as sharp as Frank Dorin!!

Erika Remberg and Karin Field are the two femme fatale leads. Erika was also in "Circus of Horrors" and the 1970 slam bammer "Esotika Erotika Psicotika" or in English, "The Lickerish Quartet!" Whoa! Karin Field was also in some awesome titles like "Sex In The Office," "Meat Is Meat," "The Devil's Girls," and "The Sex Demons" just to name a few!

I don't know, man, what did you expect from us anyway?? We were following you!

The final score was 7 - 0, it was a close game at first, but the vampires lost bigtime in the end when their lead scorer went up in smoke! Still more Living Dead tales coming up on Wednesday and Friday, stay tuned!!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

CRYPT OF THE LIVING DEAD / Spain - 1973

Check out this tag line!..

Low budget Spanish flick, original title is "La tumba de la isla maldita." Star Patty Shepard from Greensville, S. Carolina, she was Spain's answer to Italy's Barbara Steele and ended up in 47 roles like in LUCKY, THE INSCRUTABLE, THE FICKLE FINGER OF FATE, TWENTY PACES TO DEATH, DRACULA vs FRANKENSTEIN, DIABOLICAL SHUDDER, THE WEREWOLF vs THE VAMPIRE WOMAN, THE WITCHES' MOUNTAIN, MY DEAR KILLER, CREATION OF THE DAMNED, WATCH OUT, WE'RE MAD! and SLUGS!!

As original title say, take place on some island somewhere, this time... Turkey! Do anybloody spreak Engrish aroun' here? Originally in color, we gots the B+W version here at the Dungeon.

Phillip Lambro responsible for music in today's 'eariffic earclip' for listening pleasure. Phillip has only total of five composer credit including GIT!, BLOOD VOYAGE and MURPH THE SURF!

So, on wif' da show, hey hey hey!... Today, pet tarantula Ralphie' turn to be pushing big red 'GO' button. Okay, he reaching over... he just touching button, and now... CRYPT OF THE LIVING DEAD!

John Holmes have to go to island to find out why his dad get crushed to death during recent excavation, John also is archeologist.

John go down in cellar to see what he can dig up.

Not bad, he uncover 7,000 year old Vampire Queen Hannah! She look damn good for her age!!

John bring up question of threesome...

Mark and Patty think about it.

Tabonga throw this pic in to remind everbloody that flick taking place on some island! Nothin' better than pic-a-nic bas-kit, found stick cane and nice freezing walk on beach, right?

Queen Hannah so old and tired, she have to use her werewolf pal to take care of nosy intruders. Poster show gurl werewolf! That dude no gurl!!

Hey, don't get too close, she gots really bad breath!!

What you know, cross even work on 7,000 year old vampire?!

Villagers eventually catch up with Queen and set her on fire!

Mmmmm, caramel vampire skull on a stick!

Ah crap, here we go again!!.. Wowzers, that's some fancy schmancy baby tooth fangs she gots goin' on there!

This time, sell it as a horror-comedy, exploitation at its finest!!

Friday, March 12, 2010

IMPULSE - Lewis Perles - "Want A Ride Little Girl?" (1974)

I'm feeling kind of impulsive on this fine Friday night, so here it is, a film I'm not really too sure anybody wants you to know about except maybe Professor Grewbeard and us! So, break out the "Cabrito" cause it's Huckleberry Cadillacs tonight!! And away we go.........

"IMPULSE"

Starring.....Like you've never seen him before, Captain Kirk, aka The Shatman himself as Matt Stone!! Bim, Bam, Boom, Shit, Shat, Shot!

Gigolo Matt Stone's money train is about ready to make it's last stop in Oldtown and get derailed once and forever! He got caught swapping spit with Paula Dimitrouleas the belly dancer!

"I'm not about to waste my time on some cheap, over the hill broad!"

And indeed he's not!!

Chillin' with Bill, and does it make a difference that he's a ruthless sadistic murderer this time out? Probably not, if you're a fan!! Besides, her name wasn't Ruth anyway!!

The prefect single parent family is about to be disrupted for the last time! Jennifer Bishop as the mother in curlers Ann Moy, and Kim Nicholas aka Kim as the blonde and creepy little girl Tina Moy! Jennifer Bishop has been in a fine array of good/bad flicks like "Blood Of Dracula's Castle" and "Horror Of The Blood Monsters" and Kim Nicholas played The Donkey Girl in "Santa And The Ice Cream Bunny" and rounded out her career in films like "Salty" and "Limbo!" Looks like that's exactly where her career ended up!

The title "Impulse" has been used at least 10 different times starting in 1913 and right on up to 2010!!!

William Shatner's wife of 21 years, Marcy Lafferty, turns in an awesome performance as the hotel clerk!! Bill is ringin' her buzzer, if you know what I mean!!

Amazingly, the quite rightly and brilliant music was composed by assistant producer Lewis Perles in his solo musical outing!

You might have noticed that in almost every scene, William Shatner has on a different extremely garish outfit, and I'd guess the blame for that goes out to costume designer Nancy Selby in her lone film credit! I'm surprised they didn't burn her at the stake! Ruth Roman as Julia Marstow really digs that swell tie!!

How in the Hell could I ever not use a picture like this?

Right on Pimp Daddy William! How bad do you have to be to look good in an outfit like that?

It never quits! It just gets more disturbing!!

"I don't know what's the matter with Tina. Maybe she's sick. She doesn't have a fever. She seems afraid of something. Oh, Yeah?"

One of the best sick movies I've ever seen, right up there with Arch Hall's "The Sadist!" Once again, Thank Professor Grewbeard that you ever got to know about it! I'm just the medium!!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??