UNKNOWN ISLAND - Ralph Stanley - "So I Knocked Their Heads Together Like A Couple Of Coconuts" (1948)

Now, THAT is a title card, they knew how to make things right back in 1948, if you know what I'm talkin' about! 61 years ago, imagine that!! It's really not hard to imagine dinosaurs back that long ago!! And that's what "Unknown Island" is all about, dinosaurs, well, that, and Barton McClane!!

Yep, yer right, it all starts in this funky little joint, the "Port Of All Nations Cafe!"

Where the bullshit flies and the booze flows freely.....and swingin' music brought to you by the man of the hour, Ralph Stanley, aka Maestro Raoul Kraushaar, a composer we've written about many times before for his work on "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter," and "Billy The Kid Vs Dracula" just to name a couple!

City slickers Phillip Reed as Ted Osborne, and the charming Virginia Grey as Carole Lane happen onto the scene, slumming as it were! Virginia is looking pretty dang good for somebody who had already been in the business for 21 years! Her first acting gig was in "Uncle Tom's Cabin" at the age of 10! You might also remember Virginia for her work in "Target Earth!" No slouch himself, Phillip Reed had been acting since 1933, but this would be his solo appearance in a scary movie!!

That's Dick Wessel as Sanderson the 1st Mate on the left, and the one and only Barton MacLane as Capt. Tarnowski on the right, taking in the view!! The same year Dick was also in "Two Nuts In A Rut" as wrassler Horrible Higgins! Tough dude's got almost 300 credits as cab driver, moving man, blacksmith, henchman, roughneck etc.

Whack job Fairbanks is played by Richard Denning, who went on to do some of THE coolest films ever. "Target Earth" again with Virginia Grey, "Creature From The Black Lagoon," "Creature With The Atom Brain," and "The Black Scorpion!"

Kinda like a cross between "Gilligan's Island" and "Jurassic Park" only with Barton Mclane playing both the part of The Captain, and his little buddy....

Here he sneaks up on First Mate Sanderson, and scares the crap out of him, gets a gun pulled on him, and laughs like some freakin' maniac the whole time! You're gonna love this guy!!

Here we go, once again, proof positive of the existence of dinosaurs just a mere 61 years ago!!

Did you hear what I heard?

Did you see what I saw?

That's right, it's none other than Ray "Crash" Corrigan himself, filling in some spare time, as The Beast Monster!!

Go Crash, Go!!!!!

The tyrannosauruses are the weakest part of the special effects, they just kind of waddle around and look dumb, but the closeup with smoke looks pretty good!

Barton has one last smoke before he gets what's coming to him in quite a bloody fight between Crash and whoever was in the T-Rex outfit. Looks like they used lots of raw meat!!

"Target Earth"! together! Okay, you won't hear from me again until this Halloween Countdown starts, we've got a couple of surprises for you, so stick around!!

THE ALPHA INCIDENT / Bill Rebane - 1978

"So horrifyingly close to the truth, it will blow your mind!" read the tagline from maybe best Bill Rebane flick. One of Tabonga' very favorite thing is MST version of MONSTER A-GO GO! Bill is master of "curl your lip up funny" to look like horror has just struck!

Today story about microorganism from Mars brought to Earth by space probe, then get loose because of nosy backwood Doofustein and it terrorize people at train station! So, what else new around here?

Eegah!! put together 'nother great little soundclip for this Rebane monsterpiece! Music is by Richard A. Girvin who work on total of 5 project in his short film career.

Today is Ralphie the Tarantula' turn to push giant 'GO' button that always start show rolling... Today is no different, so hit it Ralphie! And, away we go!.. MARTIAN GERM AT MOOSE POINT! Great stills wif' excellent eye-popping decomposing Ralph Meeker!

UH... OH!!

What?.. WHAT??! Let me see!!

Kin I git ya a cup uh hot lava, George?!

Martian germ definitely not like white mouse! Show what kind of crazy effect you can get for 8 cent though!!

Dude going to Moose Point station because he want to tell everbloody he see a moose!

'Buck' open up the box of Martian virus on train and it get in a cut on hand, Jenny help him out and then she get it!.. Later, 'Buck' escape so Dr. Ted try to shoot him before he spread germ all around.

General have gazillion dollar command center but is still goddamn ignorant fool and should NEVER be in charge of nuffin' 'cept maybe shined up turd, but he part of 'The Family' and God want him to be in charge! BTW, that his gurlfiend there!

Gang is quarantine to station so have to kill time playing card, or...

Good time and bad, end of world or not, it always seem like most sensible thing to do!

Okay, fuck this, there ain't no freakin' antidote, we're totally incompetent and I'm going home, thank you and goodnight!

OH, LORDIE!!!

Poor lil' Ralphie never even have a chance!!

After Jenny see Ralph eyeball an' brain pop out of skull, she decide to blow own brain out in car before that happen to her... Ick!

Take no chances, exterminate everbloody at the train station!! We can't let anybloody know what bumbling fools we are!!.. Okay, good! Thanks! Have a nice weekend.

LA MUERTE VIVIENTE (Snake People) - Alice Uretta - "Enjoy The Privilege Of The Living Death!" (1971)

"Snake Peeps" is what would end up to be the second to the last film in the mighty Boris Karloff's long and winding list of credits! This film was made in Mexico, but Boris shot his scenes in Los Angeles, which wasn't a part of Mexico back then! Hey, if nothing else, it has a very cool title card!!!

Not the best or the worst movie you'll ever see, but I've kind of lost my tolerance for the whole concept of voodoo rituals and mangled chickens! It's just not funny anymore!!

This was the only Boris Karloff film that also had the Mexican Maestro Mini-Macho Santanón as a cast member!

Any, and I say any, movie with Boris Karloff in it is worth watching, even if all Boris had to do was show up, he would always be a scholarly gentleman and give it his best, no matter what, or how bad the circumstances were!!

Director and writer Jack Hill has etched his signature on the psyches of thousands of weirdos for his monsterpiece "Spider Baby" if nothing else!

Alice Uretta does an excellent job with the music in one of only two movies she ever worked on, the other being the 1968 Mexican Jack Hill - Boris Karloff less than classic "House Of Evil!" or "Dance Of Death" as it is sometimes known, where she shared decomposing credits with the fabuloso Enrico C. Cabiati!

Meet Yolanda Ivonne Móntez Farrington aka Yolanda Montes aka "Tongolele," or Cruella, the Devil worshipping queen! "Must be the season of the witch!!" Believe it or don't, Tongolele still works as a dancer today! I couldn't possibly think of a more prime candidate for "Death Dancin' With The Stars!"

Personally, I like my women poached, not fried!!

Can a lady get a drink around here? I'd really like a Cosmo or a glass of Chardonnay, Please!!!

Coming right up!!

So, that's a really unbelievable tale, sir, you mean to say, they pay you, and all you have to do is just sit here!! That is simply amazing!!

"Snake People" ends with this unimaginably incredible scene where this guy gets 4 swords shoved into every conceivable part of his anatomy, and he still gets his ass thoroughly chewed out by the boss!