TEASERAMA - "Films I Doubt I'll Ever Watch" (1938 - 1982)

Here's a whole Weird Wednesday's worth of movies I will probably never see, unless one of you readers steers me in a different direction. Actually this first title from 1955 I wouldn't mind seeing, but the title was just so tasty, I had to include it. "Teaserama" is a bunch of short films of vintage strippers like Tempest Storm doing their thing, with Betty Page as the Hostess with The Mostess!

 

 

From 1938, I think I'll gladly skip the Throbbing Drama Of Shackled Youth, known as "Child Bride."

"Escort Girl" from 1941 was a flick about high dollar call girls.

Like "Escort Girl," "Teen Age" was a film by Continental Pictures, the great recycler. "Teen Age" was made in 1943 and used a lot of footage from two earlier 1930's films!

Strippers and comedians in 1954.

The 1956 title "Cannibal Island" sounds promising but is just actually a bunch of footage from a 1931 documentary.

The 1956 film "The Flaming Teen-Age" might be worth giving a look. A small town kid goes to the big city and learns about hard liquor, fast women, and drugs. It was originally a 1946 film called "Twice Convicted," and they added some footage before changing the name to the stupid title "The Flaming Teen-Age.

 

The only reference I can find to a film called "Hoodlum Girls" was a film from 1944 that had an original title of "Youth Aflame." Lots of kids on fire in the 40's and 50's, but I don't think this is the same film, because the title card clearly says 1955.

"Scum Of The Earth" is a dirty little Herschell Gordon Lewis film from 1963.

"Mondo Bizarro" from 1966 was one of many 'Mondo' movies made in the 60's like "Mondo Freudo," "Mondo Hollywood," or "Mondo Cane." Lots and lots of sex and weirdness!!

"Blast-Off Girls" from 1967 is another Herschell Gordon Lewis film. This one's about a sleazy record promoter that might be worth watching.

Out of all these films, this one from 1967 titled "Mondo Mod" might be the best of the bunch and worth seeking out, if nothing else than just to hear how really good the band called Sam the Soul and the Inspirations, and another band called simply The Group really were.

If I ever finish watching the other 137 Gaillo films I have, I might watch "La Novia Ensangrentada," aka "The Blood Spattered Bride" from 1972, but then again, maybe not. Now if it was Splattered instead of Spattered, I might consider it.

Why they changed the name of this 1974 film from "Fugitive Killer" to "Fugitive Women" is anybody's guess, especially since there are no fugitive women in it. What do I care, I'll never watch it anyway!

"Ruby" was a Curtis Harrington directed thing from 1977 that I seriously doubt I'll ever see.

Maybe if I run out of Christmas movies, I'll watch "The Dorm That Dripped Blood" from 1982, because it looks so cheery!

 

These last two films I know for a fact I'll never watch, because as far as I can tell, they don't even exist, at least not under anything close to these titles!

 

It's okay, from the title, this film looks like it's probably a bummer anyway!

13 WILD VINTAGE MEXICAN HORROR POSTERS

Today I have for you13 wild and wooly vintage Mexican horror movie posters which includes some of our favorite lucha buddies of course.

We start with THE RETURN OF THE MONSTER from good old 1959, and I have to tell you, wow, this thing is out there. You really have to watch it to appreciate its weirdness!!

Oh boy, here we go, THE RIDERS OF THE SKULLS from 1965 is an episodic movie where our hero goes up against 3 classic monsters in the wackiest fight scenes... EVER!! Recommended.

ROBBERY OF THE THE MUMMIES OF GUANAJUATO from 1972 features a team of luchadores that go up against an evil count and a mad scientist, worth a view just get a gander at their dress duds, talk about style!

From 1964 we have WRESTLING WOMEN vs. THE AZTEC MUMMY, where, our gals go up against a female mummy and her boyfriend, also a mummy. The girls were in an earlier movie, namely, DOCTOR OF DOOM. The male mummy in this one can change into a snake or a bat, making for extra mayhem!

SANTO AND BLUE DEMON vs. THE MONSTERS from 1970 is another insane story, our heroes go against a mad scientist and his army of reanimated monsters. There on the right is the monster, OOK, borrowed from the earlier SHIP OF MONSTERS.

Then we have THE CASTLE OF MUMMIES OF GIANAJUATO that hit the screens in Mexico in 1973, it has 3 wrestling buddies that have to battle a mad scientist, killer dwarves and a horde of re-animated mummies!

In SANTO vs. THE VAMPIRE WOMEN from 1962, Santo has to protect a professor's daughter from vampires intent of kidnapping her and marrying her to the devil! This one is great MST fodder as Mike, Bill and Kevin rip away on it...

From 1959 we have THE MAN AND THE MONSTER, and I have to say, it has one of the goofiest monster makeup jobs in cinema history! That nose!! Anyway, the story's about selling yourself to the devil and the repercussions thereof..

THE AZTEC MUMMY from 1957 was the first in a trilogy of stories about a scientist who uses hypnotic regression to discover a re-animated Aztec Mummy that he's forced to battle with. His friend has a secret, he's actually a masked luchadore named Silver Angel. By the way, you can watch our movie trailer, SILVER ANGEL vs. THE DEATH ZOMBIES, there on the right, Check it out, fun stuff, we recommend it here at The Dungeon!

The 3rd movie in that series is the ultra wacky, THE ROBOT vs. THE AZTEC MUMMY from 1958, must see to believe! A mad doctor builds a human robot to go up against the deadly Aztec Mummy. It's hilarious to watch the mummy destroy the robot at the end, plus the MST gang add to the laughs as they rip away.

In 1966 we have BLUE DEMON vs. THE SATANIC POWER where our guy has to do battle with a re-animated sorcerer from the past whose powers are unearthly. Love the gal there!

SANTO IN THE HOTEL OF DEATH came out in 1963, it's about our hero who's confronted with mystery and mayhem as he has to deal with a psycho on the loose, all taking place in the hotel of death! Love that poster!!

Lastly we have THE SHADOW OF THE BAT from 1968, in it, Blue Demon has to do battle with the former disfigured wrestler called The Bat, who is planning to kidnap a beautiful female singer (shades of The Phantom Of The Opera)... Okay, there you go, 13 classic vintage poster to feast your eyeballs on, later dude...

13 VINTAGE MEXICAN ROMANTIC MUSICAL COMEDY POSTERS

 Today we gots some examples of great Mexican poster art with a style used in the fifties and sixties, they are colorful with a focus on sexy women, from back in the day when that meant something. The style is unique in the world of poster art. Today, we just use computers to do the thinking for us, which makes up for any lack of talent.

In every case, these movies involved romance, hot women, stupid guys, music and comedy, a formula they used for years, and why not, that's a winning formula. Tin-Tan was in most of them, like in this really nice poster where they're talking about Cats!

Some starred rubber-faced Resortes, looks like this one has to do with cowgirls and lassos (and probably cactus for a laff).

Resortes is back in this hot rumba musical with girls in sexy costumes, and dumb-ass dudes running the show of course.

This time those three gals there are the stars, and I'd bet that they're all on the hunt for guys! That's the other angle with the formula.

Tin-Tan is back in a story about a doctor who is obviously distracted by the beautiful women that come to him for medical help. That poster is indescribable, I'd like to have one. 

This time Tin-Tan goes to Havana, Cuba, for more fun and frolics with scantily clad women and music. Man, that poster is great!

It's fun to throw some ghosts into the mix, which is another well used motif. Love the big intruder on the left eye-balling a gorgeous gal.

Looks like Resortes has his eye on three gals, and you know that route is doomed to fail.

Not quite sure to make of this poster, but, it looks a little kinky. Check out the guy at the bottom there behind the bars, possibly her real boyfriend, making for some whacky hilarity.

Great lobby card, but Hey, Tin-Tan! Watch those hands, pal!!

Uh-oh, I think Cupid is going to cause a lot of trouble here! The title refers to loving, adornment, endearment, being warm-hearted and more. Take your pick.

This one has Tin-Tan playing freaking Sinbad, or something. All I know is, man, those are some tight and revealing bikinis there! Along with the skin.

Looks like Tin-Tan is playing some sort of doofus, a guy named Pito-Perez. I wonder if he even gets a girl in this one! So, hope you enjoyed this trip into the past.

MONSTER MOVIES I SAW AT THE THEATER IN 1958

 Well, I thought I'd do another post of  horror and sci-fi movies I saw at the theater, this time 1958, and it was a banner year to be sure! Just check out the movies I was sooo lucky to see when I was a measly 10 years old...

Oh man, this movie was a thrill and a half plus some! It was non-stop action with some of the greatest animated movie monsters ever created, by Ray Harryhausen and his pals of course. Wow, a real scary/fun roller coaster ride!

This movie had a great cast of characters and was very fun to watch, but was tarnished by its special effects, namely the giant space alien that was very transparent at times. They tried to fix it in post but it was futile. And that weird giant hand just made me laugh. All in all though, it was an entertaining sci-fi flick

This was one of Mr. BIG's finest movies, the special effects were top notch for the time. I remember loving the giant furniture and telephone, the dolls of puppet people were excellent even if they used cut out photos.

O... M... G!.. My dad took me to see this freak out fest and I was never the same again, seriously!! The creepiest parts were at the beginning, starting with the old man and then at the doctor's office. When Steve went back to see if the old man was okay, he's walking outside the house when he sees something crashing against the window blinds... I got out of my seat and went into the lobby and sat there 10 minutes before my dad dragged me back to my seat. Man, this movie was the absolute scariest! I even had the 45 record, freaking love that theme song!!

Donald Wolfit was a terrifying mad scientist, but I don't remember a whole lot about the movie because Hammer made so many of them using that formula. Their labs were the best!

As cheap as this little thing is, I love it to pieces. At the time though, it was hilarious when they show the little Brain Eaters scooting around the place, I mean, holy cow, what the Hell!

This movie left me stunned at how cool the Colossus looked, what a great monster movie it was! As usual, it ends up a tragedy, his son is the one that destroys him...

Here's another cheapie that has its moments, especially when the Faceless Man starts moving around, causing mayhem and crushing people!

I actually saw EARTH vs. THE SPIDER, and that particular poster is a little hard to find for some reason. Anyway, I liked it, but I had already seen TARANTULA a few years earlier and there was no comparison. Joe's hot rod was very nice, but the part that still bugs me is when the Spider was displayed at the school (really?!), its leg just looked wimpy! Best part was Paul Blaisdell's motorcycle policeman dummy after the Spider sucked all his blood out!

THE FLY and THE BLOB were the two movies that really kicked my ass, remember, I was only 10 years old! When David Hedison was walking around in his lab coal, right hand in pocket, head draped, unable to talk, well that was unnerving enough, but when he was shown with his fly head and hand exposed, I almost fainted, I'm not kidding. I cannot watch it now, too sad. James Clavell's screenplay is pure genius! What a ride!

Wow, here's another mind blowing movie for me, it totally kept my attention the whole time. The skeletons looked a little crappy with clear plastic wrap for skin, but when they go into the cave with the satellite and see the guy who got stuck there inside of the blob, yikes, blobs! The tension of the thing growing in cycles was pretty intense too.

Oh man, I dug this crazy movie! The Frankenstein monster at the beginning was creepy and weird as Hell. Boris Karloff as the mas scientist was great, but I liked that freaky atomic Frankenstein wrapped in cloth, it's one of my all time favorite monster!

There was so much drama going on that it was easy for this monster kid to lose interest, I just didn't remember much about it. It used some gadgets from FORBIDDEN PLANET and even some of the electronic sounds, round peg in a square hole.

I liked this one, the monster was pretty unique, the action was okay, and that last scene made me dizzy because I has a touch of acrophobia. But the part I'll never forget is the sweat on Robert's rear end when he was climbing the stairs, looks like he wet himself!

Wow, wow, wow!! This thing was a real thriller, in color with lots of bright red blood. Chris Lee was the man, his portrayal of Dracula is number one. The climax was just too much, another amazing movie from Hammer!

I saw this one with my dad and loved every minute of it, the rocket was definitely from Hell. The ending was intense, would their Thor missile destroy the Lost missile?!!

Talk about a thrill packed movie, this thing had it all, the creepy prehistoric fish, great transformation scenes, and plenty of mayhem! The cherry on top was that giant dragonfly!

I was enthralled by the beginning credit music and the digital delay used after the spaceship goes through a time warp. It was okay as a movie, beautiful women are always a plus, it had a giant spider reused from WORLD WITHOUT END. The girlie power plant at the end is one of the worst sci-fi sets, ever!

Again, those Hammer horror movies came through with a consistent mad lab theme, always the best. I remember this one had a sad ending, being their latest Frankenstein monster.

I really like this strange little movie, it was about kids saving the day. Loved the rocket at the military base, and it had a different kind of blob creature, making my day. 

This is another weird movie I liked, it just had a lot of elements that pushed my buttons. The characters went to a double bill movie with I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF and i WAS A TEENAGE FRANKENSTEIN playing, I liked the noise their time machine made, but showing the lady from the future at the end, well, she looked goofy. One great part is when the hired hand Angelo is seen in his shack reading a girlie magazine and has nudie pictures of girls pinned on the wall!

This one creeped me out pretty good, the Thing looked terrifying with its makeup. All in all, it was at the end of the Universal fifties run and this one had a small budget.

Damn, I loved this movie, with the aliens taking over the mind of the head of the space project, where he burns his hand and just wipes off the residue, the squat rockets and wild satellites, it's definitely one of Corman's best films.

Wow, how lucky was I to get to see this many monster movies, they have had a lasting effect on me and I/m still doing retro monster art, in fact, I'll be working on them after I hang up. Click.