DICK SMART 2007 - Mario Nascimbene - "Atomic Dick" (1967)

Yeah, it's exactly what you would think! Welcome to stage three of Super Spy Saturday Night down in The Dungeon! I find it quite novel that all three of the movies had one major thing in common! They all had Seven in the title, you know like 007, but just not quite! 077, Upperseven, and now 2.007, Uum, Very Interesting!

So just exactly what is it that makes Dick Smart! What the Hell did you expect with a title like that? The original title was "Dick Smart 2007," but some smart dick changed it to "Dick Smart 2.007" for some reason!

It appears that some upper echelon government official got a bad batch of viagra and he's out for revenge!

Dick Smart is about fashion! I love these shoes!

Dick Smart is about super cool music composed by the Maestro Mario (Vacation With A Gangster) Nascimbene! Mario, of course, will long be remembered as being the inventor of the 'Mixerama,' the predecessor to the sampler! I'm pretty sure that's what you'll hear in the short sound clip, because there's sure something weird going on!

Richard (The Strange Door) Wyler is Dick Smart, one suave dude! His job is secondary to all his other flirtatious ambitions! He gets a million dollars a job, so he has to work extra hard!

Dick's sidekick, pain in the ass secretary Jeanine Stafford is played by Rosana (Kiss The Girls and Make Them Die) Tapajós! Dick would be limp without her!

Dick Smart is about fancy top of the line high tech equipment and gadgetry like this! You better be damn certain you know what you're doing when you push that button!

Dick Smart is about being in Rio De Janeiro, and Dick Smart ain't no dummy!

The marvelous Margaret Lee is Dick Smart's foil, Lady Lister! Margaret has a great roster of films to her credit starting with "Colossus Of The Stone Age" in 1962, and continuing  with "Secret Agent Super Dragon," "Psycho-Circus," "How To Kill 400 Duponts," and "Venus In Furs" etc.

Not only does Lady Lister have to deal with Dick Smart because she has a nuclear coal to diamonds scheme, she also has to deal with the most evil McDiamond on the other side!

When tying her to the front of his boat doesn't work, McDiamond decides to throw Lady Lister overboard connected to a rather big weight!

Dick Smart to the rescue in his Vespa Alpha Gyro-Copter motorcycle submarine! Now this, dear friends is a very cool vehicle! Land, sea, or air, the Vespa Alpha does it all!!

Oh Jeez, this time they decided to torture Lady Lister by putting a glass dome on her head and tapping it with a hammer to beat her into submission with sonic overload!

In one kraazy scene, Jeanine shoots and kills Dick Smart, but the movie's not over, so you know they're going to revive him some way, and they do!

In the Hokey Pokey department, the theme of beautiful women with automatic weapons is still popular to this day, and that's what it's all about!

For a cheap ass, I mean low budget, film Lady Lister's Coal to Diamonds lab is pretty sophisticated!

Is this a great place to leave it or not? So that's it, "777!" If I was you, I would head on out to your favorite casino ASAP, because with the current position of the moon and stars, the odds are in your favor!!! Just like this movie, if you win, remember where you heard it, and if you lose, don't blame it on me!

SE TUTTE LE DONNE DEL MONDO... (OPERAZIONE PARADISO) - "Kiss The Girls And Make Them Die" (1966)

This is an especially cool Saturday Night Special because this movie is whack, almost as whack as this poster!

"Kiss The Girls And Make Them Die" is a Dino De Laurentiis Production, so even though it's a quasi-comedy, it's still serious!

Talk about serious, how much do you think it cost to be able to film at the site of one the world's most famous landmarks, the Christ the Redeemer statue high above Rio de Janeiro that was created in 1932?

Mike (Mannix) Connors is a C.I.A. agent named Kelly! In some movies like "Voodoo Woman," Mike was credited as Touch Connors. Born in Fresno, California, Mike just passed away a few years ago at the age of 91.

 

I got acrophobia just from watching this, and this was just the opening sequence!

The rest of the movie is filled with beautiful women because the perverted freak who wants to take over the world needs them. He has a plan to make the whole world sterile, and then re-populate it with a bunch of women impregnated by himself! This dude is a real pig!

One by one, a bevy of beauties just keep disappearing! 

Then Dorothy (The Roaring 20's) Provine shows up as Susan Fleming and steals the show!

Raf (The Godfather: Part III) Vallone is the dirty dog creepmeister Mr. Ardonian, and he's really good at it!

Ardonian has hidden cameras all over the place so he can monitor his girls without their knowledge! The list of the gorgeous gals includes names like Margaret Lee, Nicholetta Machiavelli, Marilù Tolo, Seyna Seyn, and Beverly Adams,

Shake it, don't break it!

Rich and famous.............................

..................Mr. Ardonian..................

..................Is a bonifide creepy-ass nut case!

In the meantime, Agent Kelly is outfoxing Ardonian at every turn!

Luckily Kelly likes bananas, because along with cigarettes, they are basically his whole diet!

 

Great shot of Terry-Thomas, Mike Connors, and Dorothy Provine! One thing I really enjoyed about this film was that even though it's an adventure/comedy, they gave Terry-Thomas a fairly straight role for a change. The character he plays is still odd, but not totally obnoxious and stupid like he is so often cast!

Ardonian has all the girls preserved in these tubes, and on hold until he needs them!

Looking back, I'd say "Kiss The Girls And Make Them Die" is no James Bond film by any means, but it really isn't half bad either. I got this film from Cult Action years ago, who I just found out is no longer in business, so after I'm done here, I'll have to remove their link, since it, just like a lot of the characters in this movie, is dead, but at least you can still watch the trailer if you want to, at the 

Internet Archive.

A DOPPIA FACCI - "A Double Face" (1969)

Twelve years and almost 3000 movies later, and we still haven't made a cent, and tonight ain't gonna be any different. This Saturday Night Special for the beginning of 2019 is a film called "A Doppia Faccia" or "Double  Face" and sometimes even "Puzzle Of Horrors" depending on who you talk to!
 

This film should have actually been called something like "The Many Looks Of Klaus Kinski" because that's mostly what it is!

Now I'm not complaining because Klaus Kinski is a perennial favourite, and a member of The Dungeon Hall Of Fame, and it's good to see him in a role as a handsome leading man instead of some psychotic freak case!

Pretty daring for 1969, and even more daring for whatever year Edgar Wallace wrote it, Klaus's wife is a lesbian, and is played by the marvelous Margaret Lee of  "Secret Agent Super Dragon," "Psycho-Circus," "Venus In Furs" etc. fame!!

When your relationship is this far gone, even going to races isn't going to save it! You've already lost the bet before you even got started! I always like shots of people looking through their binoculars at the racetrack!

Klaus's wife also has a cool snake ring.....

...and a nasty scar on her neck that will be handy when trying to identify her later once things get strange!

I'm willing to bet that at least 40% of the movie is closeups of Klaus, and maybe even more than that!

The music is swinging and strange from start to finish! Working as Joan Christian for whatever weird contractual obligation, Nora Orlandi is the woman responsible!

The music in this club scene was just as disorienting as this still, and sounded like four or five different songs playing at the same time!

Klaus just keeps racking up more closeups!

This is a pretty cool and and atmospheric alley shot!

How ironic, I have a pair of dikes exactly like this!!

A good lighting person is worth their weight in gold!

For the whole story and even more closeups of Klaus's mug, I recommend you go on over to Sinister Cinema and grab yourself a copy! I also found it streaming for free on YouTube, but the quality is so bad, it's not really worth the effort or the time!