LADY VAMPIRE / Richard Olson - Monster Kid Home Movies - 1968

We have a short class today with this little four minute Monster Kid Home Movie by Richard Olson from the year Eegah!! and Tabonga! went into the Army. I always have to make a title cards for Richard, something they overlooked with his movies. The beginning has a few totally dark pans and it's hard to see what's going on with the figures, but, you know... Kids!! The photo is of a teenage girl going to her window, in case you were wondering.

Then, another figure appears... Now, this is weird, that will be the only time there is a girl in the story. It's very dark but I guess she bites the guy on the neck, and...

He turns into a Dracula! There are some cool shots of Richard walking with a nice red glow on him, but dark. I thought, wow, I hope they keep it up because it gives it a nice eerie effect, not bad for some kids!

Like this shot, and that x-ray there was used in another lil' movie of theirs.

But then it happened, now, too much light! A lot of the time it's hard to get a decent still (for the rest of the movie) because these little jerks are moving around like maniacs!! Okay, here's the haps.. Those are two robbers in the living room, picking up dollar bills laying all over the place! Huh? They're stuffing it all in their pockets. Before this though, one of the robbers had choked out another kid on the couch!

I showed this pic because of that ceramic skull in the background. Hey, nice lid!

Now get ready!!.. This is the dreaded.. Choker!! The face of a brutal killer! It is sooo funny to see this little guy wearing his uncle's hat.

Now wait a minute! If this is all taking place in the living room, where in the Hell are we?!

Richard shows up to settle the score, as a blood sucker, frightening the intruders.

He puts this guy out quickly, so that...

He can get to that little shit, the Choker! This pic is funny!

Richard's teeth have like 3" fangs, and at the very end of the scene, they fall out before the camera operator cuts!!

It's a nut house to the end as Richard just wrassles with the two dummies! 

ALMOST HUMAN - "Some Cops Are Born, Others Are Made" (2013-2014)

 

Welcome to a another Wild Wednesday down in The Dungeon! Tonight's feature was called "Almost Human," a TV show that ran for 13 episodes from 2013 into 2014, and should not get confused with the 1958 Toho classic "Half Human."

The year is 2048, and every cop is assigned an android assistant. The standard MX androids are totally devoid of personality or emotion, but one cop who is a little less conventional than most, gets paired up with an earlier version called a DRN that does have a personality and is "Almost Human."

The offbeat officer is a guy known as Detective John Kennex.

John Kennex was played by Karl (Eomer, Dr. Bones McCoy, Judge Dredd) Urban.

 

The DRN is named Dorian of course and is played by Michael Ealy, who was also one of the stars of a show back in 2005-2006 called "Sleeper Cell."

Dorian is a cool character, and does a good job of keeping his wild card partner in check with his logic and insight! In one scene, he tells a very irritated John that he can tell he hasn't been having any sex lately because he scanned his balls.

Other regulars in the main cast are Minka Kelly as Detective Valerie Stahl. The daugher of an Aerosmith guitarist and a Las Vegas showgirl, I don't think Minka has ever met a camera that didn't like her, and it's no wonder that in 2010, she was voted "Sexiest Woman Alive" by Esquire magazine! You'd get no arguments from me!

Mackenzie (Ragatti in The Pirates Of The Caribbean) Crook adds a lot of comedy relief, and has the role of the rather eccentric but brilliant Rudy Lom.

To round out this dynamic cast, there's Lili (I Shot Andy Warhol) Taylor as Captain Sandra Maldonado..........

 

 ...............And Michael (The Unit) Irby as the arrogant Detective Richard Paul.

 

 

 Here are just some of the sordid characters our heroes have to deal with over the course of thirteen episodes! John has to learn the hard way, that even his girlfriend Anna is his enemy! Anna was played by Mekia (Once Upon A Time) Cox.

Voice over maestro Jonathan (Mobile Suit Gundam Seed) Holmes is a used body parts dealer Henry Mills.

Psychopathic Clonemeister Ethan Avery is played by Graham (Brother's Keeper) Miller.

Damon (Justified) Herriman is bad cat Lucas Vincent!

Benito (The Shield, Sons Of Anarchy) Martinez is dirty cop Captain Alexio Barros.

Michael (Bates Motel) Eklund is the mad Eric Lathem. He wants a perfect face, but he doesn't know that the person he wants to see it, is blind.

David (Ant-Man) Dastmalchian is a high tech serial killer called Simon.

Gina (Deadpool) Carano plays a rampaging robot killing machine called Danica. Not just an actress, Gina's record was 7-1 in women's MMA.

John (Night Court) Larroquette is Dr. Nigel Vaughn, who is essentially Dorian's creator, but not the nice guy he pretends to be!

Laine (Diary Of A Wimpy Kid) MacNeil is Emily Wilson, a hacker out for revenge!

Shaun (Fringe) Smyth is the creepizoid Straw Man Glen Dunbar, and that's just some of the freaks and maniacs this dynamic duo has to deal with!

And this is just one of the many novel ways how some of the victims end up!

Grab yourself a free account, and you can watch the whole show for free on IMDB TV.

I seriously doubt you will regret it!

THE THREE STOOGES In "I'm A Monkey's Uncle" - 1948

So, here's a fun little caveman story, Moe gets ready to meet his new girlfriend but she brings her two sisters along for the ride...

Boy, talk about a timely statement!

Moe gets woken up when his fishing line, attached to his toe, signals that he's caught a nice fish for breakfast. Time for Larry and Shemp to get outta the sack and help out with the chores.

The milkman comes by and Shemp goes out to cheer him on!

In the meantime, Moe spots a duck in the water and thinks he's got another tasty meal to take back to the cave...

But, the duck has other plans! He imitates Curly's grunts and groans here!

Shemp and Larry see a duck behind the brush, they draw back their bows and release two arrows that find their mark on Moe's posterior, as the duck was riding on his back! 

Moe's getting ready to go meet his girl, after shaving with a stone ax, he puts some butter on his hair and combs it with the fish bones.

Shemp and Larry want in on the action, so, the boys all grab their clubs for some special caveman love making!

The boys come out of the cave to find three sisters there, whoa, a girl for each of them. Moe and Larry's girls are attractive, but...

Shemp's girl is big and pushy, not to mention homely!!

And of course, the girls' real boyfriends show up to retrieve them!

Moe, Larry and Shemp's girl all get a spear in the rear!

It's time to fight back, the boys find a tree with a perfect limb to hurl whatever they can find to assault the three angry cavedudes!

They get hit with rocks, mud and even a nest with eggs in it.

But after the boys hurl a freaking skunk at them, well, it's time to hightail it back to from wherever they came!

The Stooges actually get the girls in this one! Now it's time for me to hightail it back to the tipped over place we call the world.