ROBOT WARS / The Final Conflict Has Begun! - 1993

I've already posted ROBOT JOX and CRASH AND BURN, so, here's another Charles Band production... In the year 2041, the rebel Centros are a plague to the survivors of the great toxic gas scare in 1993. A renegade Megarobot pilot and an archaeologist must team up to thwart the Centro's attempts to resurrect a hidden Megarobot, with which they can challenge the prevailing order.

This one stars Don Michael (ALIEN FROM LA) Paul, Barbara (SPACE TRUCKERS) Crampton, James (BABY FACE NELSON) Staley, Lisa (CAPTIVE RAGE) Rinna, Danny (WILD PALMS) Kamekona, with a list of others...

These people are on their way to see a town that was abandoned during the toxic gas scare of 1993, a historical tour! They are driven there on a big old Megarobot.

It's piloted by our hero, Marion Drake. with his co-pilot pal along for the ride through the desert. They finally pull into the station...

Marion sees old flame, Leda Fanning, and she puts him in his place after a few of his sexist remarks to her!

Rooney, the big wig at the project, invites his Chinese friends to come to the facility and check out all the fun things there are to do. He lets him drive a Megarobot for the halibut.

Well, our pilot and co-pilot take a break in the lounge, they play a silly fighting robot game to waste some time. Looks like some fun, don't it?

Here's one for Eegah!!.. A group goes out to a an abandoned town after that gas thing, they walk around and see what things were like in 1993! They shot this footage in Taft, CA.

And, it happens, Chinese dude Wa-Lee and his pals take the place over and shoot a throwaway character to show they're not effing around!

Wa-Lee shows Rooney who's the boss now!.. Freakin' maroon!

In the meantime, our heroes try and dig an old Megarobot out of the ground to fight Wa-Lee in his stolen Megarobot!.. Hurry!!

Mission accomplished! Marion heads out to confront Wa-Lee. They go round and round. That bottom photo shows how Megarobots make little Megarobots!

Well anyway, Wa-Lee gets his ass kicked, bringing this tale to an end... Tune in tomorrow when Eegah!! kicks our ass with something special, just for you and me!

KISS ME, STUPID - "Condemned As An Immoral Film By The Legion Of Decency" (1964)

Well, I told you I'd be back on Wednesday to show you what kind of diversion Ray Walston went on right about in the middle of his time spent shooting "My Favorite Martian!" 

Welcome to a Wanton and Well-Proportioned Wednesday in The Dungeon!

"Kiss Me, Stupid" is a madcap 1967 Billy Wilder sex romp! Billy Wilder is known most for the gigantic hit "Some Like It Hot" because Marilyn Monroe was in it, but "Kiss Me, Stupid" is an even sexier movie, and was also a complete box-office flop!

Dean Martin known here just as Dino is just finishing up a run in Las Vegas!

Acting just like he always does, Dino's show is comprised of girls, gags, and booze!

Headed back to L.A., Dino hits a snag! There's been an accident, and he's going to have to take a detour on the back roads through the boondocks!

That detour leads Dino to the bustling metropolis of Climax!

The population of Climax might only be a little over 2000, but they still have a cool bar called "The Belly Button" where all the waitresses wear a fake navel jewel in their exposed midriffs, even the ones who probably shouldn't have anything at all exposed!

 

Enter our hero Ray Walston as an extremely jealous piano teacher and struggling song writer named Orville!

Orville's cute and sexy wife Zelda is played by Felicia Farr! Felicia at one time was married to actors Lee Farr and/or Jack Lemmon! I'm happy to say that Felicia is still living today!

 

Orville's lyricist buddy Barney is the local gas station owner as played by Cliff (Invasion Of The Bee Girls) Osmond!

Cliff also played Manolo in "The Twilight Zone" episode titled "The Gift."

Dino stops for some gas and Barney monkeys with his car so he has to spend the night and give them a chance to try and get some of their songs heard. Barney also suggests that Dino might as well stay at Orville's house.

 

Everybody knows that Dino is a womanizing skirt chaser, but Orville didn't realize his wife used to be the president of Dino's fan club!

So it's at this point that everything goes topsy-turvy, and Orville has to come up with a plan to get his wife out of the house and away from Dino before she finds out.

It's their fifth anniversary, so not knowing what's going on, Zelda agrees to make love to Orville in the middle of the afternoon, but at this point, he's willing to destroy their marriage just to keep Dino away from her!

Orville decides to try the James Cagney method....but of course that doesn't pan out!

In the meantime, over at The Belly Button, the always alluring Kim Novak is waiting tables and serving beers as Polly the Pistol. 

Barney goes to The Belly Button and offers Polly $25.00 to go to Orville's and act like his wife, and keep Dino distracted!

Not only is Kim Novak still alive today and living in Oregon, she's also a very accomplished painter, and sells her work online. You can actually buy a signed print from her website at

https://www.kimnovakartist.com/

I'm thinking Ray Walston probably really enjoyed making this film!

The chemistry between the three of them is pretty krazy!
It's kind of hard to imagine, but originally, these three were to be played by Peter Sellers, Frank Sinatra, and Marilyn Monroe!

I didn't count them, but there's gotta be at least 5 or 6 shots of Kim's well-defined posterior!

If the dress looks a little tight, it's because it was one of Zelda's.

 

Dino gets all hot and bothered, but Polly is falling for all of Orville's dopey songs, and the whole plan is going to Hell in a handbag in a hurry!

After she got ran out of the house, Zelda first went to her parent's home, but she couldn't take it for long, and ends up at The Belly Button drinking five Mary Bloodys!

Pretty darn steamy, Dino ends up screwing Zelda in Polly's trailer while Orville is screwing Polly at home!

The happy ending is that Dino ends up recording one of Orville and Barney's tunes!

What a weird and sleazy freaking story for 1964! One of the posters even said

"For Adults Only!"

Now I need to track down a copy of David Bowie's "Just A Gigolo!"

KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER / "Primal Scream" - 1975

Here's a series I used to watch a lot in the seventies, loved it. Darren McGavin stars as Carl Kolchak, Simon Oakland plays newspaper boss Tony Vincenzo, John Marley plays Captain Maurice Molnar, with guest stars Pat Harrington Jr., Katherine Woodville and Jamie Farr.

This episode is about an arctic oil-drilling expedition that unearths some strange organic matter, cells which begin to spontaneously multiply. When the cooling unit in their storage facility fails, the cells grow into a violent and deadly life-form, a murderous ape-man! Kolchak plans on writing about the murder, but the details are being blocked by the authorities. And, it seems that pressure from the corporation which sponsored the drilling is threatening Kolchak's investigation!

Here's Kolchak, he helps a woman carry her fern into the hospital in order to interview Dr. Helen Lynch, part of the research team that were storing the cells. She was in a car accident, and, Kolchak was ordered to stay away from her. He gets some important info.

It's not long before this pretty boy is attacked and killed by the on the loose ape-man!

Kolchak heads out to see what all the hubbub's about. It's all about the ape-man, of course?

Then, Carl goes to see Jack Burton (a reoccurring character) to get a little lesson in the evolution of man. Hopefully, it answers some question about the creature for our reporter...

Kolchak gets a lead about the whereabouts of the ape-man, he finds a door decorated by hippies so he knows he's at the right place.

Kolchak's in the sewer system wouldn't you know! He gets a few surprises, like bats, as he searches for his illusive ape-man!

He comes across a dead woman, and then, he sees the ape-man coming at him!

Kolchak tries to calm the thing, and it's working! Well, until...

The police show up and start shooting away at the ape-man. Holy crap, they shoot the poor guy without even trying to capture him!

Our hero pulls out his recorder and we learn that the police shot the ape-man with tranquilizer darts, and, he was taken to a research facility for study! Hey, check back on Wednesday for more cool junk, just for you, here, at The Dungeon!