Wednesday, February 20, 2019

KISS ME, STUPID - "Condemned As An Immoral Film By The Legion Of Decency" (1964)

Well, I told you I'd be back on Wednesday to show you what kind of diversion Ray Walston went on right about in the middle of his time spent shooting "My Favorite Martian!" 
Welcome to a Wanton and Well-Proportioned Wednesday in The Dungeon!

"Kiss Me, Stupid" is a madcap 1967 Billy Wilder sex romp! Billy Wilder is known most for the gigantic hit "Some Like It Hot" because Marilyn Monroe was in it, but "Kiss Me, Stupid" is an even sexier movie, and was also a complete box-office flop!

Dean Martin known here just as Dino is just finishing up a run in Las Vegas!

Acting just like he always does, Dino's show is comprised of girls, gags, and booze!

Headed back to L.A., Dino hits a snag! There's been an accident, and he's going to have to take a detour on the back roads through the boondocks!

That detour leads Dino to the bustling metropolis of Climax!

The population of Climax might only be a little over 2000, but they still have a cool bar called "The Belly Button" where all the waitresses wear a fake navel jewel in their exposed midriffs, even the ones who probably shouldn't have anything at all exposed!

Enter our hero Ray Walston as an extremely jealous piano teacher and struggling song writer named Orville!
Orville's cute and sexy wife Zelda is played by Felicia Farr! Felicia at one time was married to actors Lee Farr and/or Jack Lemmon! I'm happy to say that Felicia is still living today!

Orville's lyricist buddy Barney is the local gas station owner as played by Cliff (Invasion Of The Bee Girls) Osmond!
Cliff also played Manolo in "The Twilight Zone" episode titled "The Gift."

Dino stops for some gas and Barney monkeys with his car so he has to spend the night and give them a chance to try and get some of their songs heard. Barney also suggests that Dino might as well stay at Orville's house.

Everybody knows that Dino is a womanizing skirt chaser, but Orville didn't realize his wife used to be the president of Dino's fan club!
So it's at this point that everything goes topsy-turvy, and Orville has to come up with a plan to get his wife out of the house and away from Dino before she finds out.

It's their fifth anniversary, so not knowing what's going on, Zelda agrees to make love to Orville in the middle of the afternoon, but at this point, he's willing to destroy their marriage just to keep Dino away from her!

Orville decides to try the James Cagney method....but of course that doesn't pan out!

In the meantime, over at The Belly Button, the always alluring Kim Novak is waiting tables and serving beers as Polly the Pistol. 
Barney goes to The Belly Button and offers Polly $25.00 to go to Orville's and act like his wife, and keep Dino distracted!

Not only is Kim Novak still alive today and living in Oregon, she's also a very accomplished painter, and sells her work online. You can actually buy a signed print from her website at

I'm thinking Ray Walston probably really enjoyed making this film!

The chemistry between the three of them is pretty krazy!
It's kind of hard to imagine, but originally, these three were to be played by Peter Sellers, Frank Sinatra, and Marilyn Monroe!

I didn't count them, but there's gotta be at least 5 or 6 shots of Kim's well-defined posterior!
If the dress looks a little tight, it's because it was one of Zelda's.

Dino gets all hot and bothered, but Polly is falling for all of Orville's dopey songs, and the whole plan is going to Hell in a handbag in a hurry!

After she got ran out of the house, Zelda first went to her parent's home, but she couldn't take it for long, and ends up at The Belly Button drinking five Mary Bloodys!
Pretty darn steamy, Dino ends up screwing Zelda in Polly's trailer while Orville is screwing Polly at home!

The happy ending is that Dino ends up recording one of Orville and Barney's tunes!
What a weird and sleazy freaking story for 1964! One of the posters even said
"For Adults Only!"
Now I need to track down a copy of David Bowie's "Just A Gigolo!"

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