FRANKENSTEIN / Universal Pictures - 1931

It may be hard to believe that in all the years we've been doing this blog that we missed this choice title, so, here it is... I have not watched it for many years and when I made the sound clip I noticed that the music had not yet evolved into the classic sound it achieved in the following years.

I have a sound clip for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our Aroura monster model collection, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula!.. Here's a little sample from... FRANKENSTEIN!

The program begins with our host laying down some warnings for the weak of heart.

Monster maker Henry Frankenstein and his helper, Fritz, go shopping at the cemetery to pick out a prime corpse for their experiments. Colin Clive is Frankenstein and Dwight Frye is Fritz.

Henry's lab was pretty high tech for the time, everything you'd need to reanimate the body.

After the deed is done, Henry flips out and compares himself to God!

But, God has created a monster and everyone will pay for it. And, if you have a heart, please pity the poor monster.

Things start to get deadly after Fritz constantly torments the monster.

After the monster escapes into the countryside, he thinks a small girl is a flower and tosses her into the lake, where she drowns. Dungeon pal Michael Mark is the father. In shock, he sadly carries the limp body of his daughter through town.

The violence is nonstop and the monster heads to the mill for refuge. The town's citizens grab their torches and surround the mill.

It's a fiery end for the poor monster as he succumbs to the flames at the end. But, don't worry, our big guy will return more times than you can count!

THE SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA - John Cacavas - "Count Dracula And His Vampire Bride" (1973)

 I did a search of our blog to see how many vampire movies we have done, and the list went something like this: VAMPIRE, THE VAMPIRE, THE VAMPIRE LOVERS, BLOOD OF THE VAMPIRE, ROBO VAMPIRE, THE SLAUGHTER OF THE VAMPIRES, THE VAMPIRE'S COFFIN, COUNT YORGA, VAMPIRE,  CRYPT OF THE VAMPIRE, THE VAMPIRE'S GHOST, FRANKENSTEIN, THE VAMPIRE AND CO, VAMPIRE CIRCUS, I VAMPIRI, THE VAMPIRE BAT, BLOODLUST: THE VAMPIRE OF NUREMBERG, THE KISS OF THE VAMPIRE, FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS, THE VAMPIRE IS ALIVE, BLOOD BATH (TRACK OF THE VAMPIRE), GRAVE OF THE VAMPIRE, THE NUDE VAMPIRE, MARK OF THE VAMPIRE, MY SON THE VAMPIRE, THE VAMPIRE GIRLS, THE VAMPIRE AND THE BALLERINA, BRING ME THE VAMPIRE, ATOM AGE VAMPIRE, THE VAMPIRE HAPPENING, and now tonight, COUNT DRACULA AND HIS VAMPIRE BRIDE! And that doesn't even include all the Dracula movies, just the ones with vampire in the title!

I wish I was equally impressed with this movie, but then that's a different story! "Count Dracula And His Vampire Bride," is probably not the best Hammer vampire movie ever made, but then again, it's not a big enough turkey to be thrown into a 50 Pack with "Black Hooker," "Night Train To Terror," and  "Prisoner Of The Lost Universe" either!

Originally released as "The Satanic Rites Of Dracula," a title that is a much more accurate description of what's happening in this film, "Count Dracula And His Vampire Bride" is kind of an interesting movie on a couple of different levels, and even though it has some tediously long and totally unnecessary bullshit, I didn't fall asleep while watching it, and that says a lot these days!

There's some Satanic rites, and a human sacrifice taking place, and the members of the sect are some very powerful, and influential characters! Investigating people like this who are above the law, takes a lot of dedication, determination, and fortitude!

If anybody can get to the bottom of this, it's going to be Peter Cushing as Van Helsing, a role Peter has had more than a couple of times!

Freddie (Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed) Jones, who had the disposable role of Professor Keeley is still working today......

..........As is Joanna (Corpse Bride) Lumley as Van Helsing's Granddaughter Jessica!

Dracula has five or six brides stashed in the basement, which leads me to the conclusion that he must be a mamón Mormon!

Valerie (The Insomniac) Van Ost is Jane, Drac's latest girlfriend!

Cool portrait of Dracula, and a good place to say that the orchestrated but hip music in "Count Dracula And His Vampire Bride" was composed by John (Horror Express) Cacavas in his third outing! Among a host of other things, John also composed the theme song and all the music for the TV series "Kojak!" He also had a penchant for composing songs with moon in the title like "Moonstruck," "Touch O' The Moon," and "The Other Side Of The Moon!" Like what's going to happen to all of us eventually, John just passed away last year!

Peter Cushing is always entertaining, even when the movie is not that great, he usually still is!

William (Quatermass II) Franklyn has an equally disposable role as Torrence! He seems like one of the main characters until he gets ambushed, and then he's just gone!

They spent a few minutes on a scene of Van Helsing melting down a silver crucifix and making it into a silver bullet, then when he gets a chance to use it, it's lamely knocked out of his hand and fogotten! Some time spent in a bar, a club, or a pub somewhere would have been some time better spent!

I dig this shot of Drac's chilly modern office complex!

Now that's a finger you definitely do not want to pull!!!

This is the first Dracula movie that I know of where Dracula actually wants to use his otherworldly powers for world domination instead of slinking around in dark alleys and cemeteries!

Michael (Dracula A.D. 1972) Coles as Murray has got some problems of his own with some of Drac's girls!

There are moments of brilliance like this when I would give this film a 5 star rating, and then there are times when I wouldn't even give it one and a half stars! It's all over the place!

Mixing up the game and adding new elements, that's what "Dracula And His Vampire Bride" is all about! Before he was hanged, Professor Keeley was working on a project for Drac where he slathered some Bubonic Plague samples he had with radioactive rays to produce a new and stronger plague that eats right through your skin in a matter of minutes! It's science working overtime for a better future like in "The Flesh Eaters"!

Dracula's disciples are a bunch of dudes with long hair, motorbikes, and fuzzy/furry lumberjack hippie vests! They blindly serve their master for whatever reason I don't know, not style for sure!

By my reckoning, this would be the 10th time Sir Christopher Lee would don the cape and teeth for the role of Dracula!

PETER CUSHING!

I've always known about the mirrors and the cameras, the daylight, the silver bullets, the garlic, the holy water, the crosses, and the stakes through the heart, but I have to admit I was ignorant about the effect that the hawthorne bush had on Dracula! The hawthorne was what the crown of thorns was made of that was placed on Jesus' head when he was crucified, so that makes sense!

Irregardless, it really fucked with Dracula in this closing scene!!!

SCORPION THUNDERBOLT / IFD Films and Arts - 1988

Happy Friday the 13th! I have 2 black cats, so, I'm set... I recently picked up this title from Hong Kong, and, wow, what a wild 'n' weird flick. There is so much craziness going on that it will wear you out. It's about a human sized snake that terrorizes Hong Kong with all the bloody condiments.

I have a cool musical sound clip for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our crazy monkey, NOW, Rufus The Gnat!.. Here are some moments from... SCORPION THUNDERBOLT!

The snake woman takes her first victim... The many dark scenes make it hard to see what's going on a lot of the time.

Back at the college, the instructor discusses the recent murders with interesting illustrations to explain the wounds on the women victims.

Then, these two weirdos show the instructor what they found swimming in the bay! Must be some radio activity in the water there, you think?!

Here's the mean old snake woman witch dealing with her problem.

This flick has hundreds of extras to fill up the frame!

I'll leave it to your imagination to where this super drunk ass hole is aiming those billiard balls on this tied up, spread eagled little lady...

Oh yeah, the movie stars hunky American, Richard Harrison. Richard was part of the group of strongmen that made their mark with the sword and sandal movies in the sixties. And, his very first acting credit was a pilot in KRONOS in 1957!! He's SCORPION THUNDERBOLT.

Our other heroes get a car full of vipers to drive around in, what fun!

Anyway, Richard has to go into the bad guy's lair and deal with all the kung fools to get to...

The last of the scum of the Earth! Eegah!! is here tomorrow to kung fu up another movie 4 U.