I waited and waited, and struggled and strived to find this movie, and then, through the miracle of the
The Trash Palace, Brian Horrorwitz made it happen, but......... Now I know why
"The Night Of The Strangler" was so freakin' hard to find, because nobody wants you to see this movie, and it
can be a hard movie to watch!!
The fact that Mickey Dolenz of The Monkees is in it, makes it even that much more difficult, because if you want to talk about being devoid of humor, I've got your number right here! I was going to try and tie it in with the recent death of Davey Jones, but that just didn't make any sense!! With only seven composing titles to his name, the man responsible for the groovy music was Mr. Jim Helms, whose credits define quality not quantity, and the titles are, "The Psycho Lover," "Women And Bloody Terror," the whole "Kung-Fu" TV series, "Death Among Friends, "The Brain Machine," and "Night Creature!"
Here's the basic plot, sick racists have the tables turned on them! A revenge ploy turns into a bloodbath, and an onslaught of depravity! More like big time wrasslin' than championship boxing, it's twelve rounds of eye-poking, cheapshot kicks to the gonads, and in the end, it's a draw!! You're kidding yourself if you think I'm joking!
Susan McCullough has the role of Denise, who has just came back from college to her home town of New Orleans to let her brothers know that she is pregnant out of wedlock, and if that isn't enough to make this the happiest moment on earth, the Father is a black man!!! This was the only film that Susan McCullough was ever in!
From all accounts, Big Brother Bigot Dan, as played by James Ralston was also the lead guitarist in Tina Turner's band through the 80's and the 90's, and is also a master craftsman at guitar restoration! He also plays a great bastard!
A Hippie on a bicycle with a high-powered rifle and a scope in his guitar case is a pretty scary thought, even more so after he shoots the Father of Denise's child in the back, and then innocuously rides off on his bike!
Then it gets really ugly when someone murders Denise by drowning her in the tub, then slits her wrists to make it look like a suicide! The peace sign belt buckle and the gloves are supposed to be obvious clues!
So, what's next? Dan is getting married to Vance's ex-girlfriend Carol, who was played by Ann Barrett. This was also the only film that Ann was ever in! So Vietnam Vet Vance is all liquored up, and he's pissed, so there's another scuffle between the two brothers, and.........
......When Father Jessie tries to calm the boys down, Dan calls him a nigger! Father Jessie was played by Chuck Patterson, and I'm pretty sure IMDB is totally screwed up on this one, as they show him to be in a surfing movie coming out this year! I'm not seeing him as one of the world's best surfers when he would be in his 60's! This is not the first time I've noticed you can't believe everything you read on the internet, even on reputable sites like IMDB, I found out the same thing about my pal Whitey Thomas!
I have never liked the N word, and back when I was 18, a girl I liked a lot told me how much she disliked people that used the C word, so I don't use that one either, although Lenny Bruce could do it and get away with it! I have been known to throw around the F word on occasion, but for the most part, I hate the whole alphabet, it does nothing but cause problems! All that aside, I'll bet you that the fried chicken and french fries for a dollar and a quarter was all good at this restaurant!!
Here's your next clue, this guy is delivering a poisonous Asian snake to somebody who would have to be a Vietnam vet, to be able to handle it!
Even though he's a veteran, to show what a pansy he is, Vance works in a flower shop! Hey, wait a minute, I used to work in a flower shop when I was going to college, and delivering flowers to dead people and prom dates you didn't get, isn't exactly a Swiss Picnic!
Gee, Imagine that, Carol gets flowers delivered that have a poisonous snake in them!!! Great Krengs Alive!!
Warren J. Kenner as Willie asks for his job back, but is turned down by Dan!
Vance's wedding plans to his new girlfriend Ann, get disrupted to the ninth degree! Katie Tilley is Ann, and if you guessed that this was Katie's only role ever, then you would be right!
It all gets kinda fuzzy from here to the end, and I can't remember much else! I think I blacked out!!
Dispersed amongst all this frivolity are the two detectives Michael (Mosquito Squadron) Anthony as Lieutenant De Vivo, and none other than Harold Sylvester as Jim Bunch in his first film ever! Harold had major parts in TV shows like "Walking Tall," "Shaky Ground," and in one of my all-time favourites, "Married With Children," he had the role of Griff!
The funniest thing about this whole movie is that they tried to sell it two ways, but neither of these posters have anything to do with the movie at all! Nothing! Nichts!! Nada!!!
1985's not a place I venture into often, but for this Saturday Night Special, I'm going to make an exception!! The original title of this Dario Argento film was "Phenomena," but the watered down Americano version is titled "Creepers!" For an amazing blow by blow description of the edits, check THIS PLACE out!! Awesome!!
Juxtaposed between maggots and a 15 year old Jennifer Connelly, you have "CREEPERS!" Her name just happens to be Jennifer, and she communicates with bugs!!!
It's the proverbial Richard Wagner Skool For Girlz, and since this film is a Gesamtkunstwerk of horror in itself, it's perfectly fitting!! Yeehaw!!! Grab yourself a cereveza and let's get this fiesta rolling!!
Jeepers Creepers, where'd you get those Peepers, girl? "Creepers" was Jennifer Connelly's first starring role!! Her first real appearance was on TV in "Tales Of The Unexpected," and in her first film, she was a dancer in Sergio Leone's "Once Upon A Time In America!"
The musical credits include Argento du jour, Goblin, Simon Boswell, Bill Wyman of The Stones, Motörhead, Andi Sex Gang, Iron Maiden etc.......
........and the bad dreams are just barely getting started! Sleep walking, falling off of balconies, and walking into traffic, not good!
Dungeon regular Donald (Halloween) Pleasence is Jennifer's only hope!
"Phenomena" is right up there with Madballs, one moment shockingly beautiful like this, and the next moment, grosser than a three legged cyclops picking his nose, or anything else you had ever previously imagined!! One word up that nasal passage, Argento!!
All the other girls in the skool start ragging on Jennifer, and without even trying, the bugs swarm out to assist her!
Red buttons aplenty, here's a shot that will make Ralphie and Rufus drool!
So much weird crap has been going on, Jennifer's ready to bail, BUT the kindly headmistress of the skool, Frau Brückner as portrayed by the woman who would be Dario Argento's wife, if he had one, Daria (Deep Red) Nicolodi talks her into staying one more night!! ONE MORE NIGHT!!
Bad decision!!
You watch this, and you can't help but wonder, did they really put a beautiful 15 year old girl in a rancid vat of dead vermin and maggots? Jeez, "Labyrinth" must have been a piece of cake after this!
Two words for two pictures, Jennifer Connelly!!
So, here's the deal, there are two completely different things going on here, Jennifer communicates with insects, and Frau Brückner has a freaky-deaky pipsqueak of a killer son of a bitch, as a son!
Bugs 13, Pipsqueak 0! Game over you little jerk!!
Jennifer finally escapes this harrowing frightmare!!
And the monkey gets the last laugh!!!
