HAUSU - Asei Kobayashi, Micky Yoshino & Godiego - "Nobody Else But Me" (1977)

Okay Kids, this two weeks of comedy is winding down, and it's time to start getting weird, and weird prevails on Wednesday, so here you go! A few months back I said that William Castle's "13 Frightened Girls"was one of the biggest WTF?! movies of all time, and Roy Z. left a comment that said it was a bold statement to make compared to "Hausu," and I have to admit this one time, Mr. Z. just might be right, because "Hausu,"probably IS the biggest WTF?! film of it's time or maybe even any time!!!

First off, it's a comedy, but it ain't all that funny, unless you have a very twisted nerve and think mutilating young scantily clad Japanese schoolgirls and mixing it all in with fairy tale colours, imagery, and pop music is some kind of philosophical Laff Fest! Wack and Whack Whack!!

Kimiko Ikegami as Oshare aka Gorgeous, and/or Angel is seen here with her Father played by Saho Sasazawa who is, in this role, a composer for Movie Music, but in real life, this was his only real acting gig, and he actually made a living by writing the quite successful "Kogarashi Monjirô" or "Withered Tree, The Adventures Of Monjiro!"

Everybody and their mother's brother have tried to describe this "House" of diabolical Hell, personally I'd go with something like Luis Buñuel directing a 70's Japanese horror film with the makers of Peewee's Playhouse designing the sets etc, then let Bava, Franco, and Argento, all do a segment or two, throw it all in the blender with some organic sugar, Habanero peppers, and rice crackers on high for about an hour and a half, and pour it into your eyes and ears, and you just might start to get an inkling of where director Nobuhiko Obayashi's "Hausu" is coming from!

This would be Haruko Wanibuchi as Ryôko Ema, Oshare's Father's girlfriend. As you can tell, everything about her and around her is prefect!! There's only one problem, in Oshare's mind, no one could ever replace her deceased Mother! "Isn't she lovely?"

In a nutshell, or in this case, a nut "House," Oshare and her friends just got out of skool for the summer. Oshare didn't dig that whole scene at her Dad's house, you see, so she and her friends are going to go visit her aunt in the country instead, you know, like rest and relaxation!

What? No Bacon??

Oshare's friends are a novel group, and they all have special attributes and names, kinda like the Fantastic Four or the Goonies! There's Fanta, Kung-Fu, Prof, Sweet, Melody, and Mac! Check out that small homage to horror films sitting in that one seat on this magic bus ride to the country!

Just to mess with your reality, they used painted backgrounds, and then the bus pulls up to another painted background billboard, for the next shot!! It's like a magic trick that you know how it works, but yet, it still tricks you!!

Seems like there's some "Wizard Of Oz" thrown in there too, as the Watermelon Vendor points out the way to the "House!"

At this point in the crazy world of WTF?!, even as an involuntary reaction, you just have to give in, at least I did!!

"Welcome!" Like For Sure! Houston, I think we have a problem!! Among her many acting credits, Yôko Minamida was also one of the many hosts of the extremely popular Japanese TV show, "Music Fair" that was on TV from 1965 to 2007!

Is this not like the most wonderfully beautiful freakin' foto you have ever seen in your life? The music for "Hausu" was composed by Micky Yoshino and Asei Kobayashi, and performed by Micky's band Godiego, supposedly the first rock band to ever perform "Live" in The People's Republic Of China!

I'm already worn out, but the ribald monkeyshine shenanigans of this "House" are just getting started!

One by one, the girls start disappearing, and then you have this hilarious scene where Melody,(She's the musician, get it?)loses the tips of her fingers!!

It has this devestating effect on one of the other girls who has to watch the whole ordeal!

Eriko Tanaka as Melody is then completely devoured by the maniacal piano from Hell, probably stolen from Satan's orchestra!!

The girls try and figure out WTF?! is going on anyway??

The "House" is totally freakin', and I really mean freakin' this time, nuts by now, and absolutely anything can happen!! There are no boundaries, no restrictions, and no rules, free your mind!!

Remember the Umbrellas from "Yôkai Hyaku Monogatari?" Whenever there's trouble, there always seems to be an umbrella handy!

Miki Jinbo as Kung-Fu seemed to have the strongest chance of surviving, but as tough as she is, and she's good, the evilest chandlier manages to trump her hand!!

Heeerree's..... S N O W F L A K E !!!.......Bad Kitty!!!!

It's too much, I tell you, it's too Much!!!!

Oshare comes face to face with her dead Mother! Do you see the uncanny resemblance?

And then Sweetness and Light, Oshare's Dad's Girlfriend, Ryôko finally shows up, and makes her way up to the "House" like a peacock feather blown in on a gentle breeze....

Ryôko and Oshare's Mom have tea and make nice happily forever!! Hey! Was that Snowflake sneaking back into the scene? Bad Kitty! Very Bad Kitty!!

ZOMBIES ON BROADWAY / RKO - 1945

Welcome everbloody to tonite's Moldie Oldie Fun Feature supplied to us once again by Prof. Grewbeard, it's ZOMBIES ON BROADWAY and stars RKO's answer to Hope & Crosby and Abbott & Costello in the mid-forties, Brown & Carney!! Throw in Bela Lugosi, Anne Jeffreys and Sheldon Leonard, and you gots yerself a barrell of laffs!! And, because its RKO, this is a great little production all the way around!

Music is by Roy Webb, who had a whopping 264 composing and also 11 soundtrack credits from 1929-60! Check out some titles he worked on... ALIAS FRENCH GERTIE, AGGIE APPLEBY - MAKER OF MEN, HIPS, HIPS HORRAY, AUTOBUYOGRAPHY, CRACKED SHOTS, KENTUCKY KERNELS, SILLY BILLIES, NIGHT WAITRESS, BRINGING UP BABY, THE MAD MISS MANTON, BOY SLAVES, WILDCAT BUS, TOM, DICK AND HARRY, CAT PEOPLE, HITLER'S CHILDREN and THE BODY SNATCHER!

So, time for the show!.. Come on in little Dungeon helper and buddy, Rufus The Gnat. Here's the big red 'GO' button for you to press and start our Eariffic Earclip! Hit it, Rufus!.. ZOMBIES ON BROADWAY!

Wally Brown and Alan Carney play Jerry and Mike, they're publicity agents who are hired by gangster Sheldon (I SPY) Leonard to promote a nightclub called... The Zombie Hut! To their chagrin, they'll find themselves on the island of San Sebastiane where they are to try and bring back a real (live?) Zombie for the club's opening!!

Mike and Jerry get a lesson in voodoo and zombies before they head for the island. Check out the black Cadillac!

Leave it up to RKO to have a teriffic shot like this of an island!

Here's Sir Lancelot as the uncredited calypso singer who greets the passengers with a song as they leave the ship.

Of course, Bela's up to his old tricks, this time he's another zombie master using terror to rule the territory!

Darby Jones plays Kolaaga, The Zombie. Darby had a total of 32 acting credits which includes TARZAN THE FEARLESS, SWING HIGH, SWING LOW, TARZAN'S NEW YORK ADVENTURE, I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE, QUEEN OF THE AMAZONS and ZAMBA!

This is Angela Gomez as the knife throwing dancer at a club on the island. Here, she busts this guy's liquor bottle just as he take a big swig.

Okay, that is one freaky still!.. Probably not recommended for wallpaper on your desktop!!

Mike is captured by Kolaaga and turned into a zombie by Bela. You have to admit, the zombie eye makeup is very effective and is a real hoot when Mike smiles!! They must have been cracking up on the set!!

Here's a classic comedy routine with Bela, the monkey that stole his syringe is hiding in the chest, Bela opens up one drawer and the monkey pops up in a different one, like in Scooby-Doo, good stuff.

Kolaaga, fed up with Bela, tosses him into a freshly dug open grave!!

The natives stop Jerry, Mike and Jean from boarding the ship, but when they see that Mike is a zombie, they run like Hell! Mike is then to be the zombie needed for the club's opening...

While waiting to go on stage, Mike starts staring at a showgirl while she takes off a stocking...

And viola, female anatomy snaps him out of his zombified state and jolts him back to the the land of the living. Looks like Jerry's doing pretty good himself!

The boss is tricked and he becomes the Zombie for the opening...

So, Mike gets the last laff, and he thinks Jerry got turned into the real hero, the uncredited lil' monkey!!

Ghoulnight Everbloody!!..