YOU GUI ZI - Yung-Yu Chen "The Oily Maniac" (1976)

In 1947 Tex Williams recorded a little B-Side single called "Downtown Poker Club" which included a lyric that went something like this "We ain't playing this game according to some cat named Hoyle, we're playing this game according to me." Tex pronounced Mr. Hoyle's name 'Hoylee' and for years I thought he said 'Oily' but it was only until recently that I learned what Oily really was, and it just so happens we got it here for you tonight! "The Oily Maniac"!! Xièxiè Grewbeard!!

It's a bitch to be in jail at all, but it's even worse when you have an ancient spell tatooed on your back that you have to keep secret!!

Without scumbag slimeball lawyer Mr. Wu, we'd have no story because, he is going to be the major factor in why this narrative needs a hero, albeit, a freaky one!!

Not content to just be downtrodden or poor, the hero of this film also has polio, a fact that is supposed to tear at your heartstrings that much more!!

Danny Lee as our hero Shen Yuan was credited here as Li Hsiu-hsien, and has been known to use any of the following names also: Hso Hsun Lee | Xiuxian Li | Danny Lee Sau-Yin | Danny Li Sau-Yin | Lee Sau-Yin | Li Sau-Yin | Lee Sau Yin | Li Sau Yin | Li Hsiu hsien! He's also still working today!

All that writing on the dude's back, the secret of the ages, was simple enough, dig a hole in the floor! That's it, just dig a hole, and get in it, and when the hole fills up with oil, not why, but when, that's where the transformation in this Shaw Brothers classic begins!

Yeah, no shit! "Give me Peace and Power!" I've got polio, and I just spent the whole night digging a hole in my living room floor, I'd better get something pretty dang cool outta this deal!

They never really told him what to expect, peace, power and WTF??? The Oily Maniac has arrived, and all you neighborhood rapists, cons and swindlers better watch the heck out!

Oily Man has a minion of extra cool attributes, with peace and power just being the jumping off point! He also can transform himself into a complete liquid, which in turn allows him to "Slide and glide across the floor," right under the door like "The Blob!" Beware of The Oily Man!!

In one of my favorite scenes, Shen Yuan needs a quick fix, so he douses himself in diesel! Viola! Instant Oily Man! I like to call him Oily Man instead of Oily Maniac, because he's not really a maniac, but more of a vigilante who is just taking out the trash, so to speak!

Yet another transformation, and when he gets all the way into the tub, he turns back into the solid big guy again just in time to ruin this cheap lying slut's bath, and life!

Not only does this greasy monster have a heart of gold, it also beats blood red for justice, and he doesn't kill one person who wasn't an asshole!

Being able to liquify himself is not the only trick in the Oily Man's bag, he can also swim, and leap considerable distances in a single bound!!

The music for this amazing adventure known as "You Gui Zi" was Yung-Yu Chen, the man responsible for the music in 162 films in 12 years! Just like boxers today, a guy has a record of 20 and 0 and he gets a shot at the championship, but back in the good ole days, fighters like Willie Pep had records like 230 and 11. That means that Yung-Yu was scoring 13 1/2 films a year!! That's quite a record!

Live clean, don't lie, cheat, steal or F with people, and there's a good chance you won't end up like this! That's the morale of this story!!

Unlike most slasher flicks, Oily Man is only going to kill these people who are parked and necking because he has a previous greviance with them, not just random, won ton murders!

Oily Man is still not out of tricks, and he had a long shopping list of grievances!!

Finally safe in his home after yet another rampage, Oily Man is very lucky not to have much of a social life since his house is a bit of a mess, and I'm willing to bet he's gotta have some funk going on in the hygiene department by now, not to mention the hole that's still in the middle of his living room!

It just keeps on going, Oily Man this and Oily Man that, is there nothing he's not capable of, and can't anybody come up with some way to stop this maniac??? Just imagine what he could do if he wasn't crippled!!

No, don't worry, there's too many bad guys for the tricks to stop yet! Now he can spit oil in their faces!!!

Get out the swords and chop the boy up, it doesn't matter, chop off his head, or chop off an arm, it's like fighting 470 pounds of silly putty dipped in lard that can regenerate itself within seconds! What can you do?

It's the Hong Kong version of a 'double noggin-knocker!'

Once somebody decided to have a cigarette, the reality of The Oily Maniac's vulnerability is finally revealed, but it's okay, he was about to file for unemployment anyway!

VIVA LA HUELGA 2010!!!

Well, this whole Blogger Pagination Stagnation is becoming quite the distraction, so we've decided to go on hiatus for a week to let them sort things out. Honestly, we need a break anyway, so it must be fate. I won't bore you with the details of what's going on with Blogger since you only came here to read about movies, but let's just say they've made some decisions that have left a lot of people unhappy! So, we'll be back on Friday, March 5th with a title, thanx to Professor Grewbeard, that we know you're dying to know about, "The Oily Maniac!" See you in a week!!

THE FACE AT THE WINDOW / George King Productions - 1939

Welcome, everbloody, to another Wednesday Oldtime Bijou Theater here at the Dungeon! Today we gots a decent oldie released just prior to WWII...

THE FACE AT THE WINDOW is considered the sinister, yet hammy, stage actor Tod Slaughter's highest budget, and maybe best flick, even though it was made during the British "quota quickies" era where local products were the focus, in order to stimulate the economy.

Director George King directed 54 movies between 1930-48 with Brit titles like DEADLOCK, BEWARE OF WOMEN, OH NO DOCTOR!, THE MAN WITHOUT A FACE, GAY OLD DOG, THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET, SEXTON BLAKE AND THE HOODED TERROR, CRIMES AT THE DARK HOUSE, GAIETY GEORGE and THE SHOP AT SLY CORNER!

There's a killer called the Wolf on the loose, and, who is also responsible for a string of daring robberies is basically what rolling text have to say...

Music is by Brit Jack Beaver, who ended up with 60 composing credits and good old Eegah!! gives us another 'earrific' soundclip for everbloody' listening pleasure!

Okay, enuf chit-chat, time to get show rolling down hill, so, here is Tabonga' lil' pet gnat, Piff, who have the honors of pushing old red 'GO' button in order to listen to today' earsome audio treat... THE FACE AT THE WINDOW!

Tod play Chevalier Lucio del Gardo, well-to-do lecherous weasel slime, Tod's bread and butter!

Professor LeBlanc showing young Lucien Cortier, John Warwick, his invention to bring back the dead through modern science and electricity!

Oh, boy!.. The Blind Rat Inn!! ...hic!

Fancy dancing in France, 1880 style!

Tod meet his cohorts in crime there, he trying to steal Lucien' gurl Cecile by planting incriminating evidence of bank robbery at Lucien' place, then going to tell gullible pal Police Inspector Gouffert to bust him... Sweet set up!

Mr. Face At The Window show up to scare hell out of Cecile' pops!

Marjorie Taylor, who play Cecile, was a real beauty, like Kitty Carlisle in A NIGHT AT THE OPERA!

Tabonga just showing this to see if anybloody can figure out what is totally 'wrong' in this pic?!

Tod kidnap Cecile, so, Lucien wear his own disguise to The Blind Rat, where he know she is. They pull off his beard, so, he start the place on fire, grab Cecile and run like hell!

Tod pay the Professor a deadly visit, and he enjoy every second of it!

Harry Terry play 'The Face At The Window!'

Lucien use the Professor' own science to find out who real killer is... Lucio.. del Gardo!!!!

Tricky Tod pull gun, jump out of window into river, then make it back to cause even more trouble, jeez!

Even though Tod get last word, The Wolf going down!!!

SINS OF THE FLESHAPOIDS - Bob Cowan - "Nuclear Nuckleheads" (1965)

Okay, you asked for it, so, in an effort to be fair and balanced, I won't tell you that "Sins Of The FLeshapoids" is really, in my final opinion, probably the worst sci-fi film ever made, but what I will tell you, is that "Sins OF The Fleshapoids" makes "Invasion Of The Star Creatures" look like "Forbidden Planet" on steroids x 13!!

Yeah, Yeah, I know, I'm sure this is somebody's favorite movie, but I'm not sure it's available in the hospital gift shop!

Somewhere there is a 16mm film screaming out in pain because of the loss of it's once worthy life, just like a live lobster about to be boiled!! Nice flower arrangement!!

The two 'robots' posed by the wall are The Fleshapoids! Now you know everything you need to know, cause that's the whole story!! Bob Cowan as Xar, is also credited as the music assembler, the weird tempo changes are his, not mine!!

Puffy The Fleshapoid has a moment! I ask you, should this even really be considered a movie??

Finally there is some action!! "This is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife!!!"

The end is the best part if there ever was a best part, a baby robot is born, oh, how freakin' cute, and the extra best part, the agonizing torture, the excruciating pain that is this movie, is over!!! Where was Andy when we need him??