Friday, March 5, 2010

YOU GUI ZI - Yung-Yu Chen "The Oily Maniac" (1976)

In 1947 Tex Williams recorded a little B-Side single called "Downtown Poker Club" which included a lyric that went something like this "We ain't playing this game according to some cat named Hoyle, we're playing this game according to me." Tex pronounced Mr. Hoyle's name 'Hoylee' and for years I thought he said 'Oily' but it was only until recently that I learned what Oily really was, and it just so happens we got it here for you tonight! "The Oily Maniac"!! Xièxiè Grewbeard!!

It's a bitch to be in jail at all, but it's even worse when you have an ancient spell tatooed on your back that you have to keep secret!!

Without scumbag slimeball lawyer Mr. Wu, we'd have no story because, he is going to be the major factor in why this narrative needs a hero, albeit, a freaky one!!

Not content to just be downtrodden or poor, the hero of this film also has polio, a fact that is supposed to tear at your heartstrings that much more!!

Danny Lee as our hero Shen Yuan was credited here as Li Hsiu-hsien, and has been known to use any of the following names also: Hso Hsun Lee | Xiuxian Li | Danny Lee Sau-Yin | Danny Li Sau-Yin | Lee Sau-Yin | Li Sau-Yin | Lee Sau Yin | Li Sau Yin | Li Hsiu hsien! He's also still working today!

All that writing on the dude's back, the secret of the ages, was simple enough, dig a hole in the floor! That's it, just dig a hole, and get in it, and when the hole fills up with oil, not why, but when, that's where the transformation in this Shaw Brothers classic begins!

Yeah, no shit! "Give me Peace and Power!" I've got polio, and I just spent the whole night digging a hole in my living room floor, I'd better get something pretty dang cool outta this deal!

They never really told him what to expect, peace, power and WTF??? The Oily Maniac has arrived, and all you neighborhood rapists, cons and swindlers better watch the heck out!

Oily Man has a minion of extra cool attributes, with peace and power just being the jumping off point! He also can transform himself into a complete liquid, which in turn allows him to "Slide and glide across the floor," right under the door like "The Blob!" Beware of The Oily Man!!

In one of my favorite scenes, Shen Yuan needs a quick fix, so he douses himself in diesel! Viola! Instant Oily Man! I like to call him Oily Man instead of Oily Maniac, because he's not really a maniac, but more of a vigilante who is just taking out the trash, so to speak!

Yet another transformation, and when he gets all the way into the tub, he turns back into the solid big guy again just in time to ruin this cheap lying slut's bath, and life!

Not only does this greasy monster have a heart of gold, it also beats blood red for justice, and he doesn't kill one person who wasn't an asshole!

Being able to liquify himself is not the only trick in the Oily Man's bag, he can also swim, and leap considerable distances in a single bound!!

The music for this amazing adventure known as "You Gui Zi" was Yung-Yu Chen, the man responsible for the music in 162 films in 12 years! Just like boxers today, a guy has a record of 20 and 0 and he gets a shot at the championship, but back in the good ole days, fighters like Willie Pep had records like 230 and 11. That means that Yung-Yu was scoring 13 1/2 films a year!! That's quite a record!

Live clean, don't lie, cheat, steal or F with people, and there's a good chance you won't end up like this! That's the morale of this story!!

Unlike most slasher flicks, Oily Man is only going to kill these people who are parked and necking because he has a previous greviance with them, not just random, won ton murders!

Oily Man is still not out of tricks, and he had a long shopping list of grievances!!

Finally safe in his home after yet another rampage, Oily Man is very lucky not to have much of a social life since his house is a bit of a mess, and I'm willing to bet he's gotta have some funk going on in the hygiene department by now, not to mention the hole that's still in the middle of his living room!

It just keeps on going, Oily Man this and Oily Man that, is there nothing he's not capable of, and can't anybody come up with some way to stop this maniac??? Just imagine what he could do if he wasn't crippled!!

No, don't worry, there's too many bad guys for the tricks to stop yet! Now he can spit oil in their faces!!!

Get out the swords and chop the boy up, it doesn't matter, chop off his head, or chop off an arm, it's like fighting 470 pounds of silly putty dipped in lard that can regenerate itself within seconds! What can you do?

It's the Hong Kong version of a 'double noggin-knocker!'

Once somebody decided to have a cigarette, the reality of The Oily Maniac's vulnerability is finally revealed, but it's okay, he was about to file for unemployment anyway!

4 comments:

prof. grewbeard said...

now i can die happy, the truth is out about the Oily Maniac, thanx to you guys! you wear your hearts on your chests, too!...

TABONGA! said...

Sometime, Tabonga wear dagger in heart!

Nico said...

Very nice this blog.It is interesting!

Greg Goodsell said...

I like how it's supposed to be set in the Fifties and all the fashions are disco Seventies.

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??