Saturday, September 8, 2012

THE HOUSE IN NIGHTMARE PARK - "How Weird Frankie!" (1973)

Tonight's feature film is an extra special affair titled "The House In Nightmare Park"...

...or as I like to call it, "The Frankie Howerd Story!" Largely unknown in the U.S., popular British comedian extraordinaire Francis Alick "Frankie" Howerd's life was very interesting, and anything but common!

In this movie, Frankie has the role of failed thespian Foster Twelvetrees, a man completely down on his luck, whose whole life is just about to change!

As you can easily see, it's another sold out crowd at Foster Twelvetrees' one man show!

Out of nowhere, Dungeon legend Ray Milland as the extremely wealthy Stewart Henderson has approached Foster, and asked him to do a solo performance at his family's home! Joining them soon will be fellow eccentric family members, Hugh (ONE OF OUR DINOSAURS IS MISSING) Burden as Reggie Henderson, Kenneth (EXPRESSO BONGO) Griffith as Ernest Henderson, Rosalie (THE GAMMA PEOPLE) Crutchley as Jessica Henderson, and Ruth (URGE TO KILL) Dunning as Agnes Henderson! As The Beatles had so stated a few years prior, the Henderson's were all there, and what a group of fine talent it is!

John (CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF, THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD) Bennett is the houseman Patel, a very busy actor whose first ambition was to be an architect, but it seems pretty obvious, the only thing he ever really wanted to do in life was be Boris Karloff!!

Elizabeth (HANDS OF THE RIPPER) MacLennan as the niece Verity Henderson, has the role of Foster Twelvetrees' quasi-love interest. This hall shot looks like it came from a security camera!

Foster and Verity have just discovered one of the truths of the situation, the supposedly sick brother of the whole Henderson clan, the one with all the money, is in reality, DEAD!!

As the story unravels, we find out that Foster Twelvetrees is the actual heir apparent, a bastard child born out of wedlock, who also supposedly has been given an unknown clue as to where a fortune in jewels is ratholed away, but he doesn't know about any of this!

Foster is told that he has some dental problems, so Dr. Henderson volunteers to give him some free treatment! Foster doesn't know that the good Doctor is actually a Veterinarian who really only wants to dispose of him!

Next up is one of the most bizarre musical numbers I've ever seen in a movie in a while, as the family does their rendition of "Dance Of The Dolls," a tune they used to do as youngsters while traveling in India! The music for "Dance Of The Dolls" was written by Harry (TWINS OF EVIL) Robertson, with lyrics by Clive (THE CREZZ) Exton and Terry (DR. WHO) Nation, the writers of the script for "House In Nightmare Park!"

That's Hugh Burden on the left, and Ray Milland on the right!

Frankie Howerd was a gay man in a time when it was less popular to be so, in fact, in England and Wales, homosexuality was totally illegal until 1967, and in Scotland until 1981, and a lot of his comic shtick was derived from the fact that he had a terrible case of stage fright and was prone to extremely deep depression! In other words, his real pain was used as a vehicle to make others laugh!

The sweet, innocent and ever so helpful Verity Henderson turns out actually to be a dirty rotten conniving bitch!

All throughout his whole career, Frankie hid the fact that he was gay! Neither his fans nor even his Mother were aware of the fact! His partner for over 30 years was a chap named Dennis Heymer who was also Frankie's manager! On April 19, 1992, Britain was hit with a one, two punch when Frankie Howerd died. The next day, another brilliant English comic Benny Hill also passed away!

As the late Robert Palmer would say, lookin' for clues!!

Frankie had the role of the Dying King in The Bee Gees weirdo movie "Cucumber Castle" and also had the role of Mr. Mustard in the 1978 film "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band! He was also in three of the "Carry On" series of flicks, "Carry On Doctor," "Carry On Christmas," and "Carry On Up The Jungle!" In 1987 Frankie was in a one man TV movie called "Superfrank!" How Weird!!!

What a deal, a breast, three skulls and a mask, all in one shot!!

Almost everybody is killed off, a package that is presumed to contain the diamonds is found in the snake pit, but when it is unwrapped, it is revealed that the map to where the diamonds are actually buried was written on the wrapper of the package that had just been casually tossed into the fire!

All Frankie knows for sure is that the note said the diamonds were buried in the meadow in front of the house, Oh, boy!! I love the tagline on the poster that says, "Don't see it alone - Bring the children!!" It is truly unfortunate, but for unknown reasons, this film is almost impossible to find; I had to sell my soul to the Devil just to get a copy, but it was worth it!!

Friday, September 7, 2012

ROCKY JONES, Space Ranger: Beyond the Curtain of Space / Roland Reed Productions - 1954

Welcome to 1954 Sci-Fi TV Theater with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. This was Rocky's very first adventure told in three chapters. The story goes like this... Professor Newton, a brilliant scientist from Earth, has broken communication with the Federation and taken up residence on the alien planet of Ophesia. Space Ranger Vena Ray convinces Commissioner Drake that the professor isn't a traitor and is being held there against his will. So, Drake orders Rocky, Winky and Vena to go to Ophesia in their rocket, fake a forced landing and find out whether the Professor is a friend or foe. The edited down feature is called BEYOND THE MOON. There were no actual space monsters in this series.

Eegah!! sent over a fun little soundclip to enjoy, sooooo, you can go ahead and push das big red 'GO' button that you can't miss there right in front of your lil' nose hairs, NOW, Rufus The Gnat! Here's our Earclip for... ROCKY JONES, Space Ranger!

Rocky and Winkie are heading back to Earth headquarters after their mission in space. Richard (ALLIGATOR PEOPLE) Crane plays Rocky, Scotty (LITTLE RASCALS) Beckett plays Winky.

Sally Mansfield plays sexy Space Ranger Vena Ray. Here, she's having a meeting with Secretary of Space (what a title!) Drake about her concern for Professor Newton. Check out her cool T-Bird concept wheels!

Five... four... three... uhhhh...... oh yeah, two!.. one... Blast off!!

Once in space, Rocky and Winky give Vena the cold shoulder, she's ruining their 'woman hater's club' position. Rocky would rather have a pair of fists instead of a pair of boobs on a mission like this!

The spaceships in this series were top notch for 1954. Bottom pic shows Rocky's cannon shot about to disable a foe's engine! A lot of hood ornaments at the time had similar looking rocket or jet designs!

The air gets turned off in the storage room Vena got trapped in, so, Rocky has to cut a hole in the steel door to rescue her. Problem is, he's still miffed about having a woman onboard and gives her a freakin' back breaker!!.. What the Hell?!

The whole ship loses it's oxygen, so, they have to put on their space helmuts. Vena's still out cold from the back breaker.

The gang head to the Federation space station for repairs. They are assisted by William (Harry in ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN) Hudson, twin bro of John (THE SCREAMING SKULL) Hudson.

The leader of Ophesia is an evil lady named Cliolanta, she talks with her lieutenant about what to do after Rocky's ship makes an 'emergency landing' there. She brings in Bobby, Professor Newton's young ward for a little 'chat.'

Cliolanta pushes her big red 'GO' button to turn on the hypno-beam behind her, she then gives the boys some secret orders to carry out!

Rocky's order from Cliolanta is to crash his ship into a planet, killing everyone, but, he snaps out of his trance just in time to avoid the deadly disaster!

They had great locations for all the futuristic hardware shots, including the use of a small electric powered mover engine. Rocky catches a ride on giant crane hook number 2!

This bad guy dresses up like Rocky to fake out Winky, only to be himself faked out by the real Rocky!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

PASSWORD: UCCIDETE AGENTE GORDON - Piero Umilani - "Don't Give In, Play To Win!" (1966)

The title of tonight's Wacko Wednesday flick contains a not so subliminal message, that I'm sure somebody out there is bound to figure out! Pass it on!

I was going to try and do "Password: Kill Agent Gordon" vs. "You Only Live Twice" but there was just no comparison, so after about three attempts, I gave up! Roger Browne is secret agent Doug Gordon! Besides being a secret agent, Dougie is quite the ladies man!

He's got himself a new assignment as an agent, not a secret agent, but undercover as a talent agent!! The music that backs Agent Gordon up through this whole adventure was written by Piero (SMOG, DEATH AT THE DEEP END OF THE SWIMMING POOL) Umilani!! The song "You Play To Win" was written, and I'm assuming sung by, Carol Danell, who was also an actress and in the Sci-Fi flick "Il Pianeta Degli Uomini Spenti," or "Battle Of The Worlds!"

Doug's first film was "13 Fighting Men" back in 1960, and from there it was sword and sandal city for at least five years in roles such as Mars, Glaucus Valerius, Marcus, Valerio, Fabio, Marcus Aulus, and Mars!

I never have been able to get it how these guys can fight in a suit and tie, I have enough problems just putting one on!!

Pretty tough assignment as you can well see!!

The smokin' hot Rosalba (LADY FRANKENSTEIN, THE DEVIL'S WEDDING NIGHT) Neri is Amalia! Kind of makes you wish smoking didn't kill you!

It's the old "room service brings you acid instead of alcohol" routine! To this day I don't trust room service!

Agent Gordon finds out the bad guys are smuggling guns, not water and minerals!

Luckily for Agent Gordon, there was also a big black market bowling ball smuggling operation going on!

Of all the things I never want to do in my life, getting smacked in the face with a bowling ball is right up there at the top of the list!!

Rosalba's part in the film is cut short!

Agent Gordon is master of many fighting skills including the ability to toss his opponent into a stack of tires, or smashing their face directly into the nearest wall!!

Helga (THE BLANCHEVILLE MONSTER, NIGHTMARE CASTLE, MR.X) Liné is Karin, and she's got herself in a bit of hot water!

Agent Gordon is also a master of disguise!!

Doug has had enough, this next guy is over and out!!! Bad guys just never seem to learn!

Franco (TRUSTING IS GOOD...SHOOTING IS BETTER) Ressel has the role of the cross dressing Kastiadis and/or Albert Kowalski!! Talk about chomping on the drapes!!

Unlike James Bond, Agent Gordon doesn't need any fancy special gadgets, he has the ability to destroy his opponents with whatever is at his disposal, like in this case, a fire extinguisher!!!

Go on ahead and get it over with, Torch it already!!!!!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??