Friday, December 25, 2009

MONSTER AND THE STRIPPER and/or "The Exotic Ones" (1968)

Ho, Ho, Ho!! Merry Christmas everybody, and a special shout out to another birthday boy on this fine day, Mr. Zillagord himself, who has been sadly missing in action around here lately!! (Don't tell anybody, but I think he's on some kind of covert task force.) Anyway, tonight's super extra special present is a film that I'm sure the turkey knocker would have loved to digest himself, a film unlike any other, "Monster And The Stripper"!! Yes, dear friends, it is indeed, a special day, and you can throw an extra thanx at Tabonga for unearthing this little yuletide jewel!!

Where the Hell do you start with a movie like this? It all begins in a swamp!! There are no real credits for most of the funky ass music, which is almost non-stop through the whole flick!!

It's 1968 in a little Louisiana burg called Nawlins' as seen through the eyes of Ron and June Ormond! You might remember the Ormonds as the good folks who brought us "The Mesa Of Lost Women" way back in 1953!! These weirdos have got some serious credentials, and they decided to bring it all to the table in this musical freak fest with musicans as actors and actors as musicans!!

It's audition nite at the strip club and forgive me if I get some of these credits wrong, but I do believe this is Sonja Massey as the "real sharp hippie!"

Followed by a high class stripper and a Mr. Harris Martin as the psychedelic painter! Most of these incredibly talented people only had this one movie credit, if you can believe that!!

This is Ron Ormond himself playing the part of the combover-shades Percy Dovetonsils wannabe evil boss Nemo, and crediting himself as Vic Narno,(What A Card!!) together with Georgette Dante as Titania, the very fiery Exotic Stripper with the Tura Satana look, taken to level 43!!

June Ormand as Bunny also does a very modest strip scene that I'm not going to subject you to!! June "Carr" Ormond was mostly a producer, and you'll play Hell finding any reference to her in this film, but it's in the rolling credits that this is her, as Bunny!!

Okay, now we're starting to get going! This feller here in the wild sweater is the MC at Nemo's strip club! His name is Gordon Terry and he was a world class fiddler who played at the Grand Old Opry when he was 9 years old! He's a charter member of The Fiddler's Hall of Fame, played fiddle with Johnny Cash, Neil Young and Merle Haggard, and has a highway named after him in Alabama! In 1964 he built a western theme park in Loretto, Tenn called "Terrytown!"

Southern Legend Gordon Terry was whatever is way beyond cool!! Unfortunately, He passed away a couple of years ago, in 2006!

Gordon is joined here by Timmy, aka Tim Ormond, the son of the makers of the film! I know if I was out hunting swamp monsters, I'd be wearing that same style of unzipped windbreaker!

Gene McFall as Bugeye or as he likes to be called, Stud, gets the Swamp Monster in his sights!!

And Finally, here he is, the 9 or 10 foot tall Swamp Monster played by rockabilly sensation Sleepy LaBeef, who is actually about 6'7"! Thomas Paulsley LaBeff was born in Smackover, Ar in 1935, and had a career in rockabilly and country that started in the 50's and continues today! For the full story, head on over to Sleepy's Site!!!! The crazy thing is neither Sleepy or Gordon perform any music in this film!!

In quite the gruesome scene, Sleepy pulls off Bugeye's arm with a resounding "Pop" and then proceeds to beat him to death with it!! You actually forget how hilarious everything is for a while!

The Sleepy Swamp Monster picks up a big rock that must weigh 400 pounds and throws it at Gordon and Timmy!

But Gordon checks the big guy with a tranquilizer dart, and the battle of the musical titans is over!!!

The slick cinematogrphy by Sid O'Berry makes Sleepy look even bigger than life!!

The whole place is abuzz, with everybody excited about the new act, including all the hottest cougars in town!!

Even backstage, all the girls are talking about it!!

Gordon is one happy sumbitch, and plenty proud of his new star and show!!

Gordon and Bunny make the introduction together!!!

"And now, without further adieu, we present, The Swamp Thing!"

Then, this gal, who I think is Donna Raye, comes on and belts out a song titled something like "Learning How To Love" that's going to keep your foot tappin' for a week! It's southern white trash soul at it's best, and, in my book, should have been a 1968 hit!! It's a real "Beauty and the Beast" affair!!!!

Titania comes on next and does one of her fire numbers that really pisses off the Swamp Monster!!

Next up on the program is Jimmy and Mildred Mulcay doing one of their multi-faceted harmonica duets that were quite popular at one time!!

Backstage, Donna and Titania have some words, and the next thing you know.... CATFIGHT!!!!!

Now, the Sleepy Monster has been very well behaved through all this as long as he was able to geek a chicken or two. Little Timmy has befriended him and everything was going pretty smooth, but when that catfight started Timmy ran off in a hurry and left Sleepy's cage open!!! Uh Oh!!

Sleepy remembers that Titania was trying to set his ass on fire, and disposes of her quite quickly!!

Meanwhile, back on stage, there's a fascinating display of talent and fashion going on!!!

Sleepy clears the place out pretty quick, and damn if he ain't 9 feets tall when he's standing on that table! Pretty damn graceful for a big cat!!!

Oh, the horror!! Sleepy also catches up with Nemo, and almost pulls his head off, but have no fear, for even if he gets killed in this movie, Mr. Ormond was born again, and the next film he made was totally religious with no undertones, and was entitled "The Burning Hell!" Merry X-Mas to Ya'll!!!!


zillagord said...

This is truly awesome.

Merry Christmas guys! Thanks for all the yucks and all the great flicks you have brought to my attention.

My secret mission is almost complete! Be back soon!


Prof. Grewbeard said...

wow, i'd heard of this one for years but never realized it's potential to entertain, thanx for the eye-opener!...

Joel Brinkerhoff said...

I saw this as a kid at the drive in. It was called "The Exotic Ones" and I vividly remember a scene where a woman had eyes painted on her lids for most of the shot and them she opened her eyes to reveal the make-up trick. I also remember this kid talking about how disgusting the monster was and how it made him sick to think about all the while the kid is chowing down on some fried chicken.

Eegah!! and Tabonga! said...

Thanx for the memories JB!!

Eegah!! and Tabonga! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??