THE TWILIGHT ZONE / "The Four Of Us Are Dying" - 1960

Here's a fun little story, all about a man who can change his looks by concentrating on another person's image. Love the lineup of actors, it stars Harry Townes, Phillip Pine, Ross Martin, Don Gordon, Peter Brocco and Beverly Garland.

This is Arch Hammer, he's just drifted into town and checks into a cheap hotel.

You see, Arch has an uncanny secret, he can change into another person by concentrating on their image...

Let's see what happens if he changes into the recently deceased John Foster, who died in a car accident.

He goes to the club where Foster used to perform and is noticed by his mourning girlfriend, Maggie. She simply cannot believe her eyes, how can this be!

Arch makes up a story about how he escaped death, saying that another person matching his description was the one that died. And, he's been hiding out to get away from performing. He tells Maggie to run away with him to Chicago, and she agrees...

On his way out the door, another musician notices that the man is none other than John Foster! He follows 'John' outside to confront him, but, Arch has changed back into himself, confusing the Hell out of the bandmate.

But before he disappears with Maggie, he's going to need some money, so...

He picks out Virge Sterig, a gangland criminal who was shot a number of times and tossed into a river by his 'friends.'

Arch shows up at the place of the gangland boss, who thinks he's looking at a ghost. Arch shakes him down and grabs all the money from the haul, and takes off running out of the building.

He's being chased by two of the gang's henchmen and gets trapped in an alleyway, so, he has to think quickly!

And, he fakes out the men when they confront him. They can't believe that Virge has escaped, when they know they had him cornered.

Arch has changed himself into a boxer named Andy Marshak, and wouldn't you know it, he has just walked past someone at the news stand who seems to know him. Arch asks him who he is and the man answers... Don't you know your own father?! The man tells him of all the pain he's caused with the family, and calls him a Punk! Arch pushes him down and leaves.

Back at his room, a detective shows up and wants to take him in on a bunko charge. As Arch goes out of the building through a revolving door, he goes around an extra time and comes out as boxer, Andy Marshak. The detective is stunned, how in the Hell did he lose Hammer!!

The detective leaves but Andy's dad shows up, Arch says he needs to concentrate for a minute so he can prove he's not Andy. Pops ain't buying it and shoots Arch in the gut!

As Arch lays dying, he transforms into the other men he was imitating, before...

Arch dies and ends up himself, bringing our story to an end. So, like, check back Wednesday where Eegah!! will bring you something for a Whacky Wednesday, here at The Dungeon!

MONSTERS - "Mr. Swlabr" (1990)

This Saturday Night Special I have for you is season two, episode 15 of "Monsters."

This episode was titled "Mr Swlabr."

The only other reference to the word "Swlabr" that I ever knew was this great song by one of the best bands of all time, CREAM, so it really got me wondering what the heck the tie-in was here!

The word "SWLABR" is not really a word at all, but an acronym, and the letters stand for either "She Walks Like A Bearded Rainbow," or She Was Like A Bearded Rainbow," and was written by Pete Brown.

The inspiration for the song was Producer Felix Pappalardi, who was drawing beards and mustaches on pictures of an old girlfriend. Felix Pappalardi produced three Cream albums, his own Mountain albums, and records by The Youngbloods, The Flock, and The Dead Boys before getting shot and killed by his wife at the age of 43 with the derringer he had given her a couple of months earlier.

So what does any of that have to do with this TV show? Absolutely nothing!

 

 

The real "SWLABR."

Robert (Honey, I Shrunk The Kids) Oliveri has the role of Roy Barton. Roy's a normal kid who spends all his time in the basement with his train set and his handmade aluminum dinosaurs. His Mother and older sister are obsessive and obnoxious.

Roy his just found a special prize inside his box of "Wonder Pops."

Danielle (Jessica Jones) Ferland is Roy's dreadful sister Barbie.

The directions said to soak it in water. Swlabr's embryo looks like a little turd to me!

 

The transformation begins.........

.....And the little "Swlabr" is born!

As "Swlabr" grows and turns into basically a hand puppet, he becomes less and less interesting or convincing!

But the story becomes more interesting, because the voice of "Swlabr" was provided by a very interesting character named Michael Morra, aka Rockets Redglare.

Rockets Redglare was at one time, a bodyguard for The Sex Pistols, and later for Sid Vicious, and more than one person has stated they believe that Rockets was the one who stabbed Nancy Spungen, Sid Vicious's girl friend, and then supplied Sid with the pure heroin that did him in.

We'll never know, because Rockets died back in 2001 at the age of 52.

 

Kate (School Of Rock) McGregor-Stewart is Roy's hideous Mother.

 

 

In fact, both his Sister and his Mother are bigger monsters than "Mr. Swlabr."

And to put a punctuation mark on that stinky fart, here they are again because they have nothing better to do than make Roy's life miserable!

 

"Mr. Swlabr" is growing and Roy's Mother unintentionally makes things worse by dousing him with more water that just makes him grow that much faster and bigger!

 

Hubba, Hubba!!

 

And Roy's Mother gets a face full of what's good for her!

The writer of this story is named Steven L. Nelson, and this is his only credit. All I can figure is Steven probably had a copy of "Disraeli Gears" and thought the title "Swlabr" looked cool, decided to use it as a monster's name, and that makes about as much sense as anything else!

THE AQUABATS! SUPER SHOW! / "Night Of The Cactus!" - 2012

I thought I'd check out some stuff on Shout Factory and started watching Aquabats. It really feels like a Saturday morning kid show, but I don't know where it originally played. The characters from left to right are.. Jimmy The Robot, Ricky Fitness, MC Bat Commander, Eagle Bones Falconhawk and Crash McLarson. They're a music group supposedly on a world tour. (?)

Anyway, their 'friend' Ronmark has them set up in a tent in the middle of the desert at night, to play a special song for him to woo his ex-girlfriend back into his arms when she arrives.

Unfortunately, a meteorite has just crashed in the hills, so, Ronmark and his girl, Zalga, make up and drive away into the night. Thing is, The Aquabats didn't get paid because they didn't get to play the song before the couple made up!

So, the glowing meteorite is just laying there until it shoots a liquid all over a cactus, and strange things happen.

Since the guys didn't get paid have no money, they decide to find the meteorite and sell it to a scientist or something, for money.

But MC Bat sticks his finger into a hole in the rock, and it immediately mutates his hand into an octopus tentacle!

Ronmark and Zalga are having their own problems, that big old mutant cactus the meteorite created has just kidnapped Zalga.

And, like in a kids show, there's a cartoon!

They have a continuing story going on in a cartoon in every episode. Here, like in FANTASTIC VOYAGE, they have to miniaturize themselves and go inside their friend Jimmy The Robot, through his nose, to find out what the problem is with his functions.

They race along in their van while being chased by who knows what.

They scream a lot because of all the dangers they encounter. I was looking at this scene and could only think of one thing... STEVE DITKO!!

Zalga is starting to think that the cactus likes her, he lets her down a tries to show his affection for her.

The thing even dances for her, and she seems to be enjoying herself.

The Aquabats show up to save the day, but even Eagle Bones fails with his guitar ray!

The Aquabats, Zalga and Ronmark pile into the van for safety while the cactus monster keeps pounding away on the exterior... What to do?,,

Well, it's time for a group sing-along about science as they mix up a formula that will change the cactus back to normal.

They create their mixture, so, Crash tosses the meteorite (they saved) as a diversion so that they can all get out of the van and attack the monster.

Zalga acts as if she is going to save the cactus, but, she grabs the mixture and douses it on the thing herself, and it turns back into a regular old cactus... Yay?!

Zalga straps the cactus to her car and leaves Ronmark in the dust. Later as he's walking away, he sees the meteorite and picks it up, only to be sprayed in the face! This episode makes about as much sense as the world does today, so, we're in good company!