CHE? - "What?" (1972)

 

It is a genuine WTF Wednesday in The Dungeon, and what could be more WTF than a movie called "What?"

From what I saw, not much!

 

"What?" is a 1972 film by Roman Polanski. The original title was "Che?" but if you look that up, you will mostly find information about Che Guevara. Not Polanski's most popular film for good reason, it is said on IMDB, that the film grossed a whole $64.00 it's first week.

 

Although the top name on all of the posters is Roman Polanski, the real star of the film is Sydne (Some Girls Do) Rome as a young lady named Nancy.

 

Nancy was hitch hiking her way up the Amalfi Coast, when three idiotic goons attempt to rape her. She ends up at this spectacular villa, and since she lost her baggage, she is never actually fully dressed for the rest of the movie.

 

The villa is full of assorted weirdos like Marcello Mastroianni as a pimp with skin problems named Alex.

 

After about ten or fifteen minutes running around topless, Nancy finally latches onto a pajama top that belonged to the owner of the villa. She wears it pretty much the rest of the movie.

 

Nancy is keeping a diary of all the strange events that befall her.

 

The only thing that comes to my mind is this is Roman Polanski channeling his inner Jesus Franco, and that makes at least as much sense as the movie itself.

 

Except for Nancy, the movie is filled with all sorts of unsavory and unlikable characters who mostly do nothing but act weird.

 

The locations are all very stunning and attractive!

 

I guess he was having a good time, an uncredited Roman Polanski plays an unpleasant character named Mosquito.

 

Not even Nancy knows why Mosquito is wearing the torn, but repaired shirt she had on when she arrived, and why is it reversed?

 

Sydne Rome is a beautiful gal no doubt, but in almost two hours I think they could have come up with some better stuff happening around her than this!

 

The closing scene is a regular "Who's on First?" routine, with Sydne and Marcello doing a back and forth of "What?" What movie? "What?" until she goes off into the distance, completely nude of course.

To make it even more mixed up, the German title is "Was?"

Was What?

MERRY MELODIES / "Back Alley Uproar" - 1948

Since I'm pressed for time today, here's a great little cartoon fer y'all. It stars Sylvester, who wants to serenade the neighborhood, and Elmer, who wants to get a good night's sleep, and never the twain shall meet!

Sylvester starts his night with an operatic number...

And get a big old shoe in the mush from Elmer!

Then, Sylvester does another number that requires him to stomp up and down the stairs at Elmer's place in oversized army boots! This gets him tied up and his boots replaced with sneakers!

So, Sylvester greases the steps and sprinkles a few tacks on the ground for  good luck. Then he creates more noise.

Elmer slips and slides down the stairs and through the tacks. At that point, he turns around and heads back up the stairs, all akimbo.

He goes inside and grabs his rifle, then it's back down the stairs!

Sylvester is on the roof and sees Elmer coming up on a ladder. He grabs another kitty and gives him his sheet music, and disappears.

Kitty sings an annoying operatic song which gets him conked in the head with a rifle butt!

It's time for the old (who even knows what this is anymore) Alum gag!

This shuts Sylvester up for about 10 seconds.

My favorite part, Sylvester breaks out in a Spike Jones number, the last straw for Elmer!

He grabs a case of dynamite from a construction site, time to rid the neighborhood of that pesky old cat! So, Elmer lights the fuse and it immediately explodes!!

Elmer is so happy that he can now get some sleep, heaven it great, ain't it! Until, all 9 lives of Sylvester show up singing at the top of their lungs!

ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS - "The Jar" (1986)

Probably anybody who reads this blog will not be surprised by this week's Saturday Night Special.

One of the interesting things about "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" from the 80's is that it's assbackwards from the way most things were. What's usually the case is that the 1950's or 1960's version would be thirty minutes long, and then in the 80's or later when they remade a show it would be an hour long. "The Twilight Zone" is a good example. "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" from the 60's was an hour long, and the 80's versions were on only 30 minutes.

 

So, like it or not, you can't blame Alfred, because he had already been dead for six years when this show came out. This version of "The Jar" was episode number 19 from the first season of the 'new' "Alfred Hitchcock Presents." It's still based on the same Ray Bradbury story, but now our hero is an artist instead of a country bumpkin, but for the most part, the basic story is very similar.

Griffin Dunne plays the lackey in this version, a struggling artist named Knoll. I've always liked Griffin Dunne for his paranoid character in the 1985 film "After Hours," and of course, the unforgettable "American Werewolf In London."

I have in the past, and I will in the future, watch almost any damn thing that Paul Bartel is in. Here he's a pompous art critic.

Tim Burton directed this version of "The Jar" in between "Pee-wee's Big Adventure," and "Beetlejuice."

Instead of Billy Barty, the little man who sells the dupe "The Jar" this time is Peter (Grizzel) Risch as junkyard proprietor Happy Kaufman. Peter was only 2'2" tall. He passed away a couple of years after this at the age of 42.

This time the mysterious jar was found inside an old wrecked car.

Knoll decides to make "The Jar" the star of his newest exhibition, and makes a nice stand for it.

As weird as this one is, the black and white version of the contents of "The Jar" were a lot creepier!

In fact, this version of "The Jar" is kind of pretty by comparison.

Just like in the other version, his wife likes her boyfriend better than "The Jar."

They might be high society muckety-mucks, but they are as just as transfixed and enamored by "The Jar" as the country folks were.

The gallery crowd is completely captivated!

Mesmerized, stupefied, and bewitched. Nobody knows what to make of it!

 

Another high point of this version is lovely and hilarious at the same time, Laraine (104 episodes of SNL) Newman, in a rather small part as gallery owner Periwinkle.

Knoll is now on the top of the art world with his latest exhibition "The Jar, Part Deux."

 

Who cares that his wife has permanently left him? His newfound success is much more important, and besides, she was a two-timing bitch anyway!