Friday, March 19, 2021

CHILLY WILLY / "The Legend Of Rockabye Point" - 1955

Here's another March Madness Cartoon... This one's directed by Tex Avery and was written by good old Michael Maltese. We all love Chilly Willy.

The Captain of a fishing boat tells us the story of the strange voice you can hear through the fog, someone singing "Rock-A-Bye Baby!"

The tale begins with his ship bringing in a fresh catch of Blue Fin Tuna.

After the ship docks, there's a competition between a polar bear and Chilly Willy to get the fish. No matter what the bear does to get rid of Chilly, the little guy beats him up the plank every time.

Finally the bear gets up the plank before Chilly and he runs into the galley without reading the signs, big mistake!

After the dog is asleep, the bear sneaks into the galley again...

Chilly uses pepper to make the bear sneeze and wake the vicious dog up.

Every time the dog gets woken up, the bear has to sing him 'Rock-A-Bye Baby" which puts him right back to sleep. Then the bear can try to get his hands on those tasty fish again.

Chilly comes up with interesting ways to make noise and confuse the bear. Tex Avery wrote all the gags in this one.

In this attempt, Chilly moves the dog so that the bear trips over it, waking it up of course.

So then Chilly pushes a big anvil off the deck, the bear sees it coming and blocks it from hitting the dog... It even drives him into the floor!

My favorite still.

Chilly sticks a clarinet in the dog's mouth, so the bear runs over with sheet music and plays the lullaby, and when the dog is just asleep, Chilly changes the sheet music to a march or something. 

Finally fed up, the bear grabs a bag full of fish, jumps into a motor boat and lands on a tall iceberg, then climbs all the way to the top.

And when he empties the bag, what do think he finds?..

The Captain finishes by telling us that this has been going on for the last twenty years!

Now old friends, the dog says, could you sing it to me one more time, Charlie...

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

MIGHTY MOUSE - "The Jail Break" (1946)

Tonight's Weird Wednesday Featurette is a pretty cool Mighty Mouse cartoon from 1946 called "The Jail Break."

This is actually a pretty legitimate depicture of Alcatraz Island!
If you're ever in San Francisco, go visit the island, it's a lot cleaner than downtown!

They only housed the worst of the worst including Frankenstein..............

...................And Dracula! I wonder how Universal felt about it!

But here he is, the baddest of the bad, the worst of them all, the incorrigible Bad Bill Bunion!

His trusty steed comes to his rescue, bringing Bill a bagful of guns!

Bill literally shoots his way out of the place!

And makes a dramatic swan dive to freedom!

I'll tell you what, that's one damn fine horse Bill has got!

Not content with just escaping, Bill is so bad he taunts his pursuers too!

Further proof that this is the most evil man on the planet, he steals free food, and.......

............He steals a piggy bank from an innocent baby!

Bill comes up with an even more devious plan!

He rides out onto the field and steals the ball right in the middle of the Army-Navy game!

Well, that's the last straw, and now they send in The Army........

..................The Air Force....................

............and The Navy!!!

But Bill is just too tough! Is there nothing that can stop him??

Oh, yeah, did you almost forget this was a Mighty Mouse cartoon?

This cartoon is seven minutes long, and it's not until after four minutes that they finally bring our hero in. It just shows you how bad that Bill fellow really was!

Mighty Mouse saves the day once again, and returns the retrieved ball, and the game can continue! Thank the Lord for heroes, even small ones!

Monday, March 15, 2021

TALES FROM THE CRYPT / "The Reluctant Vampire" - 1991

Here's a tale about a vampire that has a novel way of quenching his thirst, he's a night security guard at a blood bank!!

This one stars Malcolm McDowell as the vampire Donald Longtooth, Sandra Dickinson as Sally, George Wendt as the boss Mr. Crosswhite, Michael Berryman as Rupert Van Helsing, Paul Gleason as Detective Robinson and John Kassir does the Crypt Keeper's voice.

There's a problem at the blood bank, the supply is dwindling for some unknown reason. Sally tells Mr. Crosswhite that she will try and get to the bottom of the thefts. The boss says he was glad she wants to get to the bottom of things and starts patting her bottom! Security guard Donald Longtooth walks up and tells him to leave her alone. Crosswhite tells him to mind his own business and reminds him that he does the firing too.

Everyone's leaving for the night, Sally tells Donald that she liked how he stood up for her. She also tells him that she thinks being a sensitive man is... Sexy! She gives him a hug and his fangs come out, and he makes the excuse of having to get to work to get out of the situation...

When he's finally alone, Donald turns into a five year old in a free candy store! He just grabs whatever he wants off the shelves and mixes himself a drink.

He figures the way to replace the missing blood is to go out and drain blood from worthless jerks on the streets and alleys. He's squeezing the lasts drops of blood (through a tube in the neck) out of this would be murderer.

And then Rupert Van Helsing shows up at the police station to offer his assistance, he tells them that there is a vampire loose in their city. Even after showing them photos of vampire bites on a victim, they laugh him off, mainly because there was only one hole in the victims' necks, not two.

After draining out half of the jug for the blood bank, Donald has a refresher.

Detective Robinson is ready to go home after a long day when Rupert shows up again, this time with a bill of lading for items a vampire would want, sent from Carpathia!

In the meantime, Mr. Crosswhite has showed up at Donald's place, telling that the whole thing was a ruse, he knew he was a vampire, and he threatened Sally's firing (Donald likes Sally a lot) to see how much blood he could bring in under pressure! Crosswhite has two pistols pointed at Donald, the vampire responds with, you know that bullets can't hurt me...

His boss is way ahead of him though, they are squirt guns filled with holy water, not pistols with bullets! Holy Hell, Crosswhite squirts him about fifty times, it's insane!

He's just trying to make a point, if you'd like me to stop squirting you, agree to bring me the blood from more street victims for the company, OR...

Sally followed Mr. Crosswhite to Donald's home and was hiding in a cabinet. Donald doesn't want to cooperate but the boss uses Sally to agree to have nothing to do with the vampire or he'd start squirting him again. So, Crosswhite says that he wants Donald to get in his coffin and get a good night's sleep, ready for work. But, he wants to know where the coffin is...

It's a wall coffin, and when Crosswhite is in the perfect spot, Donald lets it down, right on the skull of the psycho, knocking him out cold. Sally wants to help Donald drain the blood from their horrible boss, when, they hear someone outside. They have to find a place to put Crosswhite...

Rupert shows up with Detective Robinson and some officers. They locate the coffin and open it up. It's Mr. Crosswhite! Rupert whips out a huge vampire stake and before anyone can stop him, he plunges it into the supposed vampire's heart, killing him dead...

Rupert closes the coffin lid and tells the detective... It's the only way. They all leave.

Sally and Donald come out from behind the couch, then Sally wants Donald to make her a vampire, saying my favorite line... I always wanted to be a creature of the night!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??