PICKUP ON SOUTH STREET - "Smoke! Smoke! Smoke!" (1953)

Tonight's feature presentation is a real Smoking Saturday Night Special, and I mean that literally!

The title sounds innocent enough, but "Pickup On South Street" is a real mean film, so let's talk about something else!

Back in 1953, cigarettes and tobacco were just about as common as masks are today! People smoked everywhere, restaurants, clubs, hospitals, and it was something that was just taken for granted. The people who were intelligent enough not to smoke were the ones who were the weirdos. It was not even uncommon for Doctors to smoke! 

For years, cigarette machines were as common as phone booths! These days, you're not likely to find either one except in a bar or a casino!

Roosevelt included farm subsidies in the New Deal, and tobacco farmers were getting paid from the 1920's well into the 2000's, all in the name of stimulating the economy. Who cares that smoking was, and has, been killing almost as many people annually as Covid-19 for decades on end!

That's just the way it goes, tough shit!

 

Miss Ohio 1945, Jean Peters was married to Howard Hughes from 1957 to 1971 and basically disappeared during those years! She died in the year 2000, from leukemia, not lung cancer.

Richard Widmark also did not die from cancer, but lived to be 93 years old, and died from complications after falling down one day.

An odd pairing at best, back when people of different political ilks could still get along and work together, Jean Peters was a staunch Republican, and....................

.......................Richard Widmark was a super liberal Democrat, but at least they had that one common bond....................Smoking!

Smoking in cafes and restaurants was the worst, and it's only been the last twenty years that it has been banned in most public places. When we were kids, you could smoke in the local movie theaters as long as you were not in the main seating section, like that stopped the whole place from filling up with smoke anyway.

What an inexpensive way to kill some time in a film. A 'smoking a cigarette' scene must have been a scriptwriter's dream. I'll bet five to ten minutes of this film is just smoking in some form or another.

You had to be really bad, to be cool enough to use a cigarette holder, and not be ridiculed by your peers.

And when cigarettes don't stink up the room enough, there's always cigars to do the job!

"Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! (That Cigarette) - Tex Williams and his Western Caravan circa 1947.

Murvyn (Voodoo Island) Vye as Police Captain Tiger also smokes his way through the whole film. Smoking, what a great way to be totally obnoxious without ever having to say anything.

Jean Peters' character's name is Candy!

I guess it all makes sense, or it's just one big lie, it's your choice!

THE THREE STOOGES / "Movie Maniacs" - 1936

Here we go again, in this Stooge adventure, the boys go to Hollywood to get in on the movie scene, but it isn't as easy as they think and they only create mayhem on the set after getting their big break in the movie business!

Hmmm, two things... First, Curly's name is misspelled on this one. Secondly, I just noticed that Shemp was born on March 17th, same as me!

The boys are going to Hollywood in a box car full of movie props. Moe is feeling lucky and tells Larry to iron his white slacks so that he can look sharp when they go looking for a job. But Larry messes it all up and covers up his mistake with white paint! Moe conks him on the head for his effort...

After washing up, Moe says that it feels great to be clean, Curly is flipping a pancake and he can't find it. Moe asks, you mean you lost it!! He looks up and it hits him square in the face after being stuck on the ceiling. So much for feeling clean.

They show up at Carnation Pictures, I'd bet that a lot of people don't even get the joke.

The head of the studio is Fuller Rath, played by the great Bud Jamison. He finds out that three new executives are showing up today to head up their productions...

The Stooges get past the guard by pretending to be from the newspaper and asking him to pose for a photo. The other guard comes out and asks his partner what he's doing!

The boys run into an office where Fuller tells them that he's glad to see them, thinking that these are his new execs. The guard shows up but quickly leaves after he sees the boss gladly greeting them! The boys don't know what to think!

So, the boys go to the set where they're filming a movie. Moe hands the director a note stating that they are in charge of the production now... Oh boy!!

Moe interrupts a scene where the actors are supposed to kiss. He tells them that they know nothing about kissing!

Moe says that the actors are not animated enough, so Larry and Curly show them what to do with their arms...

It gets a little weird here... The man says, but darling, I have no money!.. Larry reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bill. Curly snatches it away from him and... Check out the face on the lady and the placement of her arms! It's like, I dare you to stick that in my bra!!!

So, that's it for the director and the actors, and they storm off the set. Now the boys have to come up with plan B.

Curly plays the lady and Larry plays the man. It's ham-it-up time, and for the scene's climax, Curly jumps into the lap of Larry, who's seated on a chair, and they crash to the floor! Moe yells, CUT, and he cannot get over the terrific acting by Larry and Curly!

Yeah well, the boss finds out that the real executive won't actually show up until tomorrow, he grabs the security guards and they head for the set.

The boys destroy the place trying to get away from Fuller and the guards.

They get outside and find a good place to hide. Unfortunately, it's the lion cage and it's a merry chase to the finish. Love this episode! Check in again tomorrow for more cool junk...

THE TWILIGHT ZONE - "Once Upon A Time" (1961)

Tonight's Weird Wednesday feature is Season 3, Episode 13 of "The Twilight Zone" from 1961, and it's a good one!

 

I just naturally assume that I've seen each and every episode of "The Twilight Zone" in my life at some point in time, but it might just be time to go back and watch all of them again starting at the beginning, because even if I've seen them, there are many like this one that I didn't remember until it was suggested to me by "The Perry White of Berlin."

This episode is titled "Once Upon A Time" and stars the fabulous star of the "Silent Screen Era," Mr. Buster Keaton.

This fascinating episode starts off as a silent movie that stars Buster Keaton as Woodrow Mulligan!

Disgruntled, what a great word! Yeah, he's a little grumpy, and dissatisfied with the prices he sees in store windows, and how expensive it is to live in 1890.

This is what sexy advertising looked like in 1890!

Woodrow Mulligan is a janitor in employ of these two bonehead scientists who have just finished their new invention, a "Time Helmet!"

The two scientists go off to have a champagne toast to their new project, and while they are gone, Woodrow Mulligan, who had overheard their conversation, decides to try the helmet on!

But as you can see, there's a catch, if you don't get back in 30 minutes, you're stuck wherever you land forever. Woodrow starts messing with the thing, and accidentally sets it for the 1960's.

The sparklers attached to the helmet are especially convincing!

So here he is, smack dab in the middle of the 1960's. He doesn't have any pants on because he was in the process of washing them when he put the helmet on.

Up to this point the show has been just like a silent movie, but as soon as he lands in the 60's, there's sound and dialogue.

Woodrow notices that there has been a moral decline in advertising, and what he thought were high prices before are now ten times higher! He's not too sure he likes this place in time or not!

This guy in a GMC pickup grabs the helmet off of Woodrow's head, and a chase ensues. The guy then tosses the helmet to the sidewalk, and a kid on a skateboard picks it up, and  Woodrow chases after him.

The kid runs into the portly Stanley Adams as Rollo, and Woodrow is able to retrieve the helmet, but it is now damaged! How will get back now? 

Stanley Adams was also in another episode of "The Twilight Zone," entitled "Mr. Garrity And The Graves." Stanley Adams' career included some 211 credits on everything from "The Addams Family," and "Batman," to "Star Trek," and "Lost In Space."

They take the helmet to Jack's Fix-It Shop, and Jack, who was played by the always entertaining Jesse White, tells them that sure, he can fix it, and to come back on Thursday, and he'll have it done. Woodrow explains to him that he's only got fifteen minutes, so Jack does an emergency fix on it

Jesse White was also in another episode of "The Twilight Zone," called "Cavender Is Coming." 

While he's waiting for the helmet to get fixed, Woodrow spots this TV, and thinks it's a guy looking through a window talking to him!

The helmet gets fixed, and Rollo shows that his true motivation in helping Woodrow was to steal the helmet, so he could return to the much more romantic 1800's.

Rollo runs back out into the street, and Woodrow jumps on him just in time to hitch a ride back to the past!

At first Rollo thinks 1890 is a true paradise without all the hustle and bustle!

But it only takes Rollo about a week to realize that the past is boring, and missing many essentials, and he now longs desperately to go back to the 60's.

And so Woodrow is happy to send him back to the time he came from, and as Rod Serling says in the epilogue, "To each his own."

"Once Upon A Time" is one of the few episodes of "The Twilight Zone" that is an outright comedy as far as I can remember. I guess I'll have to watch all the rest of them again to make sure!