MERRIE MELODIES / "Transylvania 6-5000" - 1963

Bugs is burrowing underground, looking for that illusive Albuquerque, and ends up in Transylvania for another whacky adventure. Directed by Chuck Jones and Maurice Noble.

As Bugs digs away, he runs head first into a mangled old tree. He looks up and notices that he's now in Pittsburghe, Transylvania. Guess he missed his mark by a lot!

He starts wandering up a hill where there's an old castle that looks like a good place to stay the night...

He pulls the noose and the coffin-shaped door creakily opens up for him. Notice the skull hanging there, it's a wind chime!

Once inside, Bugs is greeted by Count Bloodcount, who seems to be an interesting kind of guy. And, he invites our little buddy to spend the night there...

Bugs walks past this weird piano with sharp teeth and claws, with a portrait of 'Mother' hanging on the wall.

The Count shows Bugs to his room, it's confirmed, there's something devilish going on!

As Bugs walks down the hall to his room, he sees these pictures hanging there.

In his room, Bugs can't sleep so he grabs a book to read. He chooses one on magic words and phrases, sounds informative...

As Bugs starts reading, the Count comes a-creepin'. He reads the first magic word, 'abracadabra,' and the vampire changes into a funny looking little bat! Bugs shoos it away.

The Count flies out the window just as Bugs reads the second magic phrase, 'hocus-pocus,' he changes back to human form, and falls to the ground on his face!

Throughout the story is this 2-headed buzzard, Agatha and Emily, what end up amorously chasing a 2-headed male buzzard.

Bugs is obsessed with the two words and just walks around repeating them. At one point, the Count is turned into that pesky bat again and gets sprayed with pesticide!

In a cycle of not learning a lesson, the Count gets caught in a loop of, when he's ready to drop a huge stone on Bugs, he hears the word, 'abracadabra,' and turns into the bat only to get crushed, then hears the words 'hocus-pocus' only to return as a dazed and beat up vampire.

Anyway, Bugs wants to go home and calls an airline to purchase a ticket. As he's talking on the phone, he says, 'abracapocus' and his ears change into bat wings!! He cancels the ticket.

 

He flies off into the moonlight like a good little bunny... So, I'll be back Monday with another treat for you, until then, you'll have to deal with Eegah!! tomorrow, here at The Dungeon!!..

SCHOOLHOUSE ROCK - "Them Not-So-Dry Bones" (1979)

 

We've got some fun stuff lined up for this years "Countdown To Halloween," so let's not just sit around talking about it. This Weird Wednesday edition was an episode of the famed cartoon learning series from 1979 called "Schoolhouse Rock."

This song which is intended to teach about the skeletal system is sung here by super cool jazz trumpeter Jack Sheldon. Jack was so good he played with solid jazz players like Sonny Stitt, Herbie Mann, and Stan Kenton, and he also was on a Monkees LP, and a couple of albums of Tom Waits.

Jack was also an actor and a bandleader. Sadly, he passed away just last year at the age of 88.

 

The original version of "Dem Bones" was written by African-American composer James Weldon Johnson, and was first recorded by the Famous Myers Jubilee Singers in 1928. The lyrics are taken from the Bible, Ezekial 37:1-14, where the Prophet Ezekial visits the Valley of Dry Bones and prophesies that the dead will one day rise again at the command of the Lord.

Here's a very cool version by The Delta Rhythm Boys! 

 

 "Bones are heard of, but seldom scene, 'cept each year 'round Halloween."

"But I've got a shockaroo...................

..........Right now there's a skeleton locked up inside of you!"

"Minus bones, you're just a blob."

"Your heart and lungs are tucked in there behind your ribs, your bones have been protecting them since we were little kids"

"Shinbone connected to the knee bone!"

"So please remember, you got to do it while you're young!"

 

"Feed your bones some good old calcium!"

 

 

See for yourself!

THE BEYOND / aka SEVEN DOORS OF DEATH - 1981

Sorry to say kids, today you get a razor blade in your candy! In this creepy Euro tale, an old hotel is being renovated, unfortunately, it was built on top of  the door to... THE BEYOND! The woman who is heir to the estate starts noticing very strange things going on....

Like, this hole in the wall in the basement, it's filled the place up with three feet of mucky water, so a plumber is brought in to fix whatever, just fix it please!

The plumber is up to his knees in the sludge when he notices a new hole open up in the wall. He's dumbfounded by the  whole thing and closes in for a better look, when... A hand with claws reaches out and grabs his face!! Oh yeah, it pops out an eye for good measure!

Are you enjoying that first bite of candy yet?

Well, they can't find the plumber, but they do find a rotting corpse floating in the filthy basement water. It's taken to a lab for analysis. The doctor there thought he saw a sign of life on his monitor before leaving the room.

After the doctor exits, a bottle of acid tips over and starts spilling out on a female corpse there. The skin melts off her face, revealing some slimy ghoulish creature!

Foam from her skin becomes a BLOB-like mass that chases a little girl!

The girl opens a door only to find these things in there! Don't know how, but she gets away, they cut before you know what happens.

A little break with some cool jazz and a cold drink, wish you were here!..

Here's another bite of that candy, the plumber comes out of hiding, finds one of the women screwing around in the basement and ends up ramming her head through a steel rod! And, one of her eyes pops out!

The story's more involved than I'm willing to spend time on, but, here are two of the creeps from The Beyond, they are here for one reason, to bring the blind girl back! That's right, BACK. Because, she's actually one of them.

She pleads but her pet dog chews her neck apart! I guess you have to die to go back?

Our stars barely make it out of the hotel before all the undead come alive there, the place is literally crawling with them!

They go to the hospital only to find everyone there is a zombie...

After firing off about twenty five shots (there's no clip), this is the last bullet our guy has left, he grabs his girl and they head back to the hotel...

They are inside in the underbelly of the hotel, when, the whole goddamn place crumbles to the ground. There are strange sights and weird sounds coming from the wasteland full of dead bodies, leading to only one conclusion...

They are in... THE BEYOND!!

Now, they get to be the blind ones. Hope this isn't US in a month! Now, the only question is, what in the heck kinda treat are we going to get on Wednesday when Eegah!! returns with the goods? Here at The Dungeon!!..

HOLLOW GATE - "Hollowgate" (1988)

This Saturday Night Special ain't that special in my humble opinion, but it IS Halloween oriented and tis the season! So, without further adieu, here's........................

............................."Hollowgate," or is it "Hollow Gate?" Even the producers don't seem to know, and that pretty much sets the stage, although it's not really a stage, but more like an empty cardboard box!

These kids are at the local costume shop and the one girl really wants the purple wig, but her boyfriend is too cheap to buy it for her!

The proprietor offers them a way to get the wig for nothing. All they have to do is deliver a couple of boxes to some mansion that's right on the way to where they are going!

All that's missing is Scooby-Doo!

It doesn't matter the reason, if this guy answers the door........................

.....................RUN!!!

Just what the world needs, another creative creep who has a costume and a different method of whacking all his innocent victims!

As it ever will be, payback is a bitch!

It's very possible that it can!

"Hollow Gate" got 3.3 stars out of 10 on IMDB, and that might be generous!

 

 

 

Too bad they couldn't have got The Shat for the lead role, it would have still be a lousy movie, but I'm sure it would have been a little more interesting!