BLOOD SUCKING BABES FROM BURBANK / They're Not Evil... Just Really Really Hungry! - 2007

This seems like a good time to get this one out of the way. In the story, a group of gung-ho archaeology students unearth a cursed jewel box in the Burbank mountains that turns females into blood-thirsty cannibals and guys into snacks.

Yes, good old Professor Stockwell's having an archeology (misspelled) seminar (field trip) in the Burbank mountains, and people are signing up!

Of course, the majority of the participants are cute girls with big boobs, because, you know, you wouldn't have much of a movie without that!

So, weird things start to happen alright, like, what's wrong with that babe's eyes and why is she drooling, and then, is that guy really dead or is he just faking it!

So, here's the deal, Angela's Jewel Box, an artifact created by the King's Sorceress, was lost by New World explorers in 1774 and is found by one of the students. And, it's having an effect on any female that touches the jewels... Makes total sense to me!

Somewhere in Burbank, these gals have been rubbing jewels all over themselves and start to turn on the goofy 'gardener' after he tells them he wants to chop the tree down there behind them! He quickly becomes their entree...

There's also some 'missing arm' drama at the beach wif' this metal detector totin' weirdo.

This dude is at some sleazy nite club out chasing tail, he thinks he's hot shit til he becomes the babes' next meal they chow down on. I guess that Burbank's one Hell of a place!..

Oh what the Eff... Let's get funky about the whole damn thing!.. C'mon Girls, strip!!

My choice as the hottest babe, well, she gets captured and tied up by the good guy, I think his name is Gary, and she squirms and squirms around on the bed for us. My favorite scene so far!

This is pretty funny. at the beach, this jerk gets paid to try and get the girls' jewel box away from them. As one of the babes kicks his ass but good, he keeps saying that he's just an actor, lady, which pisses her off even more! He's the textbook definition of a 'worm.'

OMG, low and behold!.. Gram Gram has the box now and is Queen of X-Ville! Where will the insanity end?!! I have to admit, that is one of my favorite cheap-Ass make up jobs, makes me think of Harry Thomas!

I'll end the month with my favorite shot from this nutty flick, man oh man oh man, that classic surfboard kicks royal ass! Those sexy curves are top notch too, looks like you could ride a wave forever and a day! So, tune in tomorrow for our very last post of February, where Eegah!! gets to choose what goes in the chamber, here at the Dungeon!..

POPEYE FOR PRESIDENT - "All Hail To The Spinach" (1956)

 I like to avoid politics as much as possible on this blog, but I'm going to make an exception in this election year, because there is only one candidate I can give my full support to, and that's....

 POPEYE FOR PRESIDENT!!

Popeye is the duly represented candidate for the "Spinach Party!"

In later years this would come to be known as the "Green Party!"

Bluto is giving out free cigars in exchange for votes!

All of Popeye's followers ditch him for free cigars!

Popeye stands by his record! (This probably only makes sense if you're 40 or older)

Bluto decides to take things into his own hands!

It turns out that the one deciding vote is by Miss Olive Oyl, but you can see that she has more important things to attend to!

Olive's got a Winter's worth of wood she needs to get chopped before she can think about anything trivial like an election!

Popeye takes care of that task in a hurry!

Olive needs her fields to be plowed!

Again, Popeye is the one that can do it the best!
(Yes, these are sexual innuendos lost on kids!)

The new President and First Lady by a landslide majority from a time when first you got the job done, then you bragged about it, instead of unfulfilled lies and promises!

THE OUTER LIMITS / 'Soldier' - Season 2 Episode 1 - 1964

In another classic tale, a soldier from 1800 years in the future, and an enemy soldier he's fighting, are accidentally teleported back to the year 1964. The psychiatrist assigned to examine the soldier realizes that the brute has been bred purely as a killing machine, but also, that he can reawaken the humanity in him. Later, the second soldier arrives and is ready to kill his enemy, and those who protect him!

It stars Lloyd (160 quality acting parts) Nolan, Michael (198 great acting jobs) Ansara, Tim (120 amazing acting credits) O'Connor and Catherine (75 solid acting parts, lotsa TV) McLeod.

The story starts here, in some unknown world... There seems to be a war going on, there are incoming super laser beams hitting down, and two soldiers are each taking commands to kill their enemy!!

As the men approach each other, two laser beams hit down at the same time, causing a time distortion that sends the soldiers careening through time and space, until...

One of the soldiers ends up here, he's being chased by police. Backed into a corner, he unloads on a patrol car, machen es geht, kaput!!

After being incapacitated by the noise from a jack hammer, the oddly clad man's barely subdued and taken to a psychiatric facility and put in an observation room. Tom Kagan is put on the case, an expert on foreign languages, they want him to figure out who the person is and what the Hell's going on around here. The big guy has the strength of five men! Paul Tanner, head of security, draws his gun before letting Kagan go inside the room with him.

Being friendly and offering the man a smoke seems to always be a good place to start, at least it used to be. Kagan eventually finds out that the man's name is Quarlo Clobregnny! Or, just plain old 'Quarlo' for short...

Later, Kagan tries to get Quarlo to read and identify words. He finds out that the man is from Earth, 1800 years into the future. He has been bred as a soldier, and understands much more than he lets on.

Tanner has the results back from the lab, the lethal weapon has no power supply and only has three working parts! Tanner's my favorite character in this one, Tim O'Connor is always great!

Kagan gets permission to take Quarlo to his own residence after he's sure the big guy is harmless to people he trusts. Also, Quarlo finds the family's cat and has a conversation with it using telepathy, cats in the future are like carrier pigeons of the past...

Of course, the other soldier, in full gear, eventually shows up, ready to cause a commotion. He starts by burning a hole in the wall, then entering the home. Got a great little still capture there at the bottom, nice!

Quarlo is able to grab the soldier and wrestle him to the ground. Then, well, they're flung off into another time and space place, I guess...

The story ends with another ominous warning about what we do in the present can effect events in the future. Tune in on Wednesday where Eegah!! will take us to another wild 'n' weird place in movie land, here at The Dungeon!!..