GODZILLA vs. KING GHIDORAH / Let's Get Ready To Rumble! - 1991

This one's complicated, but, it goes like this... Time travellers from the 23rd century return to 1992 to warn Japan that Godzilla will cause a catastrophic nuclear incident in the 21st century and suggest a way to get rid of the big old monster, forever! They want to go back in time to 1945, to Ragos Island, where a dinosaur was exposed to radiation from the Bikini H-Bomb test, and became Godzilla. Upon completion of this task, King Ghidrah appears in 1992 and the visitors' true plan is discovered, they wish to destroy Japan so it will not become the dominant economic force in the future!

Here are the head honchos from the 23rd century, two British dudes and an Asian girl... (?). After arriving in their flying saucer, they warn the Japanese that if they want to continue as a country, they need to destroy Godzilla when it soon arrives, before it totally annihilates Japan, and, they will help out!

Then, sure thing, Big G shows up!..

Later, we find out the dudes' master plan... They pull King Ghidorah out of their ass to assist them in making sure that Japan actually does get completely destroyed!

Hey there kids!!.. Now you can get your own freaking Automatic Timewarp System, now available at Kids 'R' Us! Explore prehistoric times, visit the future!.. Only $199.95 plus tax!

Anyway, there's a revolt amongst the saucer crew and two 23rd century patriots decide to help Japan defeat the bad guys. They redirect the saucer to Godzilla instead of letting it head back to the future!

Godzilla blows the Hell out of the saucer with the dudes inside!.. How beautiful stuff is when it's blown up. Reminds me of what the universe must have looked like as it was forming!

After the big guy takes out Ghidorah, it just goes around knocking buildings over and roasting the military! Love that shot of the ray machine getting blasted.

What the?!.. Looks like the Japanese refurbished King Ghidorah's mangled corpse with some special equipment, time to rumble!!.. Ghidorah is now controlled with the help of the useful time travelers. Come on you big 3-headed freak!!

The middle metal head sends out a special 3-D ray, nice!

Ghidorah is equipped with special electrified restraints, but, why?

Well, for them to both drop into the ocean, where the story began... Watch the movie.

Here's the girl that controlled Ghidorah in her little rocket plane, she came all the way from the 23rd century to save the day! Tune in tomorrow where Eegah!! tries to figure out what the Hell he's going to have for us, here, at The Dungeon!..

CANNED FEUD - "Der Dosenkrieg" (1951)

I haven't had a chance to watch any cartoons in a while, so tonight it's Warner Bros. Wednesday in The Dungeon and a special featurette from 1951.

It's always amazing to me how many gags and jokes they can pack into seven minutes or less, starting with the fun play on words title "Canned Feud." Just for the record, the German title "Der Rosenkrieg" translates to "War Of The Roses!" How's that for a stretch?

The setup is the family is taking off on a little vacation!

I'm barely getting this done because this is how I've felt all day!

Bad news for Sylvester the cat! 

What horrible cat owners, leaving for two weeks and not leaving any food out for their cat! You think these cartoons are simple but wouldn't it have been much easier to draw almost anything besides an electric mixer?

Just love this shot! It makes for great wallpaper!

So there is plenty of food, there's just no way for Sylvester to get into it without a can opener!

Let the chase begin!

Why is the mouse so mean and hateful anyway?

As it turns out, jumping on a tuna can is not a good way to get it open!

But Sylvester has other means at his disposal that will be more dangerous but just an ineffective!

Those unraveling and exposed wires can't possibly be a good thing!

You probably saw that one coming!

Where do they come up with this stuff? This is what Sylvester looks like after a piano drops on his head!

It's always handy to have fireworks and matches laying around for your cat to get into!

This is not working out for Sylvester at all!

Finally, he brings out the big guns! This has got to work once and for all, and it does, blowing the whole damn wall to smithereens, and finally Sylvester gets his grubby mitts on the can opener!

But amidst all the confusion, the mouse has somehow mananged to hang a lock on the cupboard that contains all the canned food!

And guess who has got the key?

What fun! Seven minutes of violence, hatred, and attempted murder! Hilarious, but is it really any wonder why society is so screwed up??

"That's all Folks!"

GRAVEYARD SHIFT / Terror In The Old Textile Mill - 1990

Today's tale by Stephen King goes like this... In a very old textile mill with a serious rat infestation, the workers discover a horrifying secret deep in the basement...

It stars David (A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET) Andrews, Kelly (LESS THAN ZERO) Wolf, Stephen (GALAXINA) Macht, Andrew (XTRO: WATCH THE SKIES) Divoff, Vic (NIGHT OF THE CREEPS) Polizos and Brad (DUNE) Dourif.

Here's the low IQ crowd normal people have to deal with in Maine, the filming location.

Looking for work, John Hall applies for a job at an old textile mill. He meets with Warwick, manager of the mill, and gets the job.

But, after the disappearance of a worker in the rat infested building, well, it's time for some fresh meat around here!

This is what's left of the exterminator after he's mushed to bejesus by a huge stone block!!

The fun just never stops, one guy gets hooked and another one gets his hand bit off! Thing is though, the rats themselves are not able to cause this kind of gruesome damage!.. Hmmm.

John and Jane get trapped in a deadly flood, they hang on to a floating coffin until it opens up, exposing the skeleton inside!

The two dig their way out of the mess they were in to get themselves into a worse one! Warwick wants to fight, he pummels John and then actually kills Jane with a few punches! Now, that's a freakin' a boneyard!!

So, super ass hole Warwick gets his just desserts, err... I mean, he becomes dessert for some sort of crazy giant super rat!!

Poor John has almost had it, what can he possibly do to end this freakish nightmare?!

He notices that the thing's tail was caught in the grinding machine!

Unable to get near the start button on the machine, he pulls out his trusty slingshot. He finds a full can of Pepsi and slings it at the button!!

He hits the button square and the devilish machine does its job!..

It grinds the monster up into raw rat meat, the regular rats enter the scene and wolf down the remains of the gristly old thing. Well, there you go, another monster bites the dust, here, at The Dungeon!!