PEE-WEE"S PLAYHOUSE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL - Paul Reubens (1988)

 All Right, I'm over all the doom and gloom, dead Santas, and bad Santas, and I think it's about time to get into the joy and happiness of the season, and the epitome of fun, as long as you don't count that one unfortunate incident, without a doubt, is spelled Pee-wee Herman!

 It's all been done before, so let's just do this!
We love Pee-wee Herman down in The Dungeon! He's like a classic combination of Soupy Sales and Salvador Dali, or the Dalai Lama and Joan Rivers, or something like that!
Coming out next year some time should be the TV movie "Pee-wee's Big Holiday!" I don't know about you, but I can't wait! I'm sure it will be more exciting than "Star Wars!"

Mr. Paul Reubens (Pee-wee Herman) gets creds for writing and directing, so I can only imagine that he was that one who decided who he wanted to have on his special, because it takes a special mind to come up with a group of talent like this! Honestly, in mainstream America 1988, I'm kind of surprised this flew! In fact, I'd be really surprised if a show this wild would even get aired today!

CHRISTMAS!!!!  

 
Pee-wee's special is a cavalcade of talent from all kinds of genres that included the likes of :

Frankie (Beach Blanket Bingo) "Venus" Avalon................

The Whoopster..........

.........NBA All-Star Magic Johnson........

.......Disco Diva Grace (Vamp) Jones.......

............One of the classiest ladies of all times, Annette Funicello that I totally regret never trying to meet since she lived right around here.........

.....And Cher looking better than ever!!!
 

Pee-wee checks out Miss Yvonne's ornaments! Lynne Marie (Tunnel Vision, The Running Man) Stewart played Missy Vonne! She'll also be in the new Pee-wee movie! Miss Yvonne was among a host of regulars in the Playhouse like.......

......William (Blacula) Marshall as the King Of Cartoons......

.....and Lawrence (Perry White) Fishburne as Cowboy Curtis!!!

Merry Christmas from

Joan Rivers.....

The Del Rubio Triplettes!!!

LITTLE RICHARD!!

Amazing songbird cowgirl
K.D. Lang!

One of the best Claymation characters of all time!
PENNY!

The "Queen Of Outer Space,"
 Zsa Zsa Gabor!

Dazzling
Dinah Shore!

OMG,
Oprah!

And  
Charo!

With that much sexy talent on one show, I wouldn't be able to contain myself either!

Freakin' Happy, Happy, Joy, Oh Boy! Christmas is on the way!

TALES FROM THE CRYPT / And All Through The House - 1989

Here's another twisted Xmas tale about a woman that makes the mistake of murdering her husband while an escaped mental patient dressed in a Santa outfit is on the loose in the area.

The Crypt Keeper gets all dressed up as Santa for this episode, a really ugly little version with lots of missing teeth and misshapen fingers.

After deciding to go into comics in 1979, one of my most awesome experiences while learning all about the history of comics was reading the 1950s EC Comics and noticing the supreme quality of the writers and artists they had working for them. They were God back then.

I have a sound clip for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our newly sharpened ax, NOW, Rufus The Gnat!.. Here are some sounds from... AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE!

Here's our happy couple just before they file for a separation. He wants her to give him the fireplace poker, so, she does!

Their daughter comes downstairs to see what's going on but mom sends her quickly back upstairs before she can notice that something doesn't seem quite right.

Wifey has a sadistic side to her! I'm sure some marriages create these kinds of monsters, as verified in the sound clip.

Larry Drake plays the escaped convict dressed up like Santa. Larry was DR. GIGGLES in 1992. In this scene, wifey fights back and scratches the crap out of him, allowing her to get away.

Then, Mr. Maniac gets his arm through the door but gets an ax whack for his effort!

Wouldn't you know it, the kid is so excited about Xmas, she can't wait to get her presents! She tells Santa to use the ladder laying there to come up to her room!

But, Santa's interested in only one thing, giving wifey her special gift for being soooo BAD!!

Ain't Xmas fun!!.. Be back tomorrow as we slay away using Santa's sleigh!

SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT - "Night Of The Dark Full Moon" (1984)

It seems they had it out for Santa in 1984! "Silent Night, Deadly Night" is another good example!

There was a lot of hype about this movie, personally, I just think it's a gory slasher Christmas comedy! Sick, no doubt, and another flick not for the kids for sure!

As "Blood Freak" was to Thanksgiving, "Silent Night, Deadly Night" is to Christmas, a stupid sleazefest, but yet, still engaging!

It all starts here! A family is going to see their Father who is in a mental institution on Christmas Eve!

The grandfather is totally non-receptive until all the adults leave the room, and then suddenly he becomes all animated, and tells his grandson that he better be good, because Santa Claus punishes the naughty kids!

In an apparently unrelated scene, an evil man dressed as Santa Claus robs a convenience store, and kills the proprietor! He's one bad cat! When I saw that this Santa drove a red car was the moment I decided this film was a comedy!

The paths of the bad Santa and the innocent family soon cross, and he brutally kills the two adults and one young boy witnesses the whole thing, and is permanently scarred forever! The other brother is just an infant, so he just cries!

Flash forward three years to the brother's new home!

As witnessed by this drawing, the boy is carrying around a lot of sick Christmas baggage!

Spring forward another 10 years!

The boy is now all grown up, well mannered, and seems to be fine, for a while anyway! Good lookin' guy Robert Brian Wilson is the psycho Santa who has now become a cult hero! After doing some TV and a recurring role on "Santa Barbara," Robert hung up his acting shoes in 1992! One of the nuns at the home gets him a job in a toy store because he's big and strong!

Take a guy who already has a Santa complex, and compound it by making him do a gig as Santa at the toy store! This can't be good!

History has shown that it is never a good idea to give a psychotic copious amounts of alcohol!

Oh well, it's just a Christmas party!

Scenes of creepy X-Mas icons prevail!

Now it's time for all Hell to break loose!

Flashbacks and bad memories turn Santa into a killing machine! 

At first it's not so bad, like this rapist dude kind of deserved it, but then Santa shows that he has no qualms or remorse about killing anyone if they've been naughty in his mind's eye!

Scream Queen extraordinaire Linnea Quigley has the role of victim Denise! She was making it with her boyfriend on the pool table when she heard something, and then she gets to run around with her top off for three or four minutes before Santa barges in and sentences her to guilty of being naughty!

"Denise" Where are you Denise?"

Here's another reason I say this is a comedy! More than one victim threatens their friend or lover with "I'm gonna kill you" or "I could kill you" (I can't remember the exact quotes right now) before they get killed themselves by Santa; stupid shit like that!

This movie is pretty bad, but at least Santa gave this little girl a choice. "Have you been naughty or nice?" After previously killing every human he came in contact with, he gives her a pass and his utility knife, when she honestly tells him she's been good!

When the cops finally respond to all the mayhem, of course they shoot the wrong Santa!

Another reason I say this is a comedy! Santa chops off this poor defenseless snowman's head with a bloody axe!

When this sick Santa is finally stopped, his axe drops in the appropriate place at the feet of his little brother leaving a gigantic opening for "Silent Night, Deadly Night 2!" 

I think they're up to 5 now!