OFFBEAT / Guzbro Productions / Cable Access TV - 1992

Get ready for All-Over-The-Place August with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon... I'm going to mix it up real good with a lot of variety this month, today I'm focusing on a cable access show we produced back in Chatsworth, CA. We did ten episodes before calling it quits and were selected to be featured on the national TV show hosted by Fred Willard, ACCESS AMERICA, season 2, they loved us!! We were ready to celebrate when we got the word that the show had been cancelled...

Our show consisted of our gang, The Offbeatniks, going into space for adventures and while we tried to figure things out when a problem occurred, we would show videos from various underground bands (from around the world) that sent their submissions in to Eegah!! for approval. We used green screen for backgrounds that I created and taped.

I have a fun little sound clip for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our crashed space ship, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula!.. Here's a sample of... OFFBEAT!

Offbeatnik roll call... Here's Race saluting something!

B. A. is basically the leader of the spaced out weirdos!

Dizzy got his name because he's very blonde!

Skitch Ion is our big guy and cook, specializing in fried b'lony sammiches.

And, here's Galaxie, our female companion, played by Christy Taylor. Christy has 12 acting credits including THE MAKING OF '...AND GOD SPOKE' and a an episode of MARRIED WITH CHILDREN. While we were taping our shows, her agent told her to stay away from us!

Here's the gang in their giant converted espresso coffee maker space ship.

And, some close ups of the guys (and girl) as they fly through space wearing their shades.

John Bartles sent in a number of interesting videos, this one accompanied by a jazzy horn.

Also in the sound clip is a small segment from The Sleepwalkers doing 'Lie, Cheat and Steal.'

In my favorite episode, the gang (Skitch couldn't make the taping) use their way-out gadget to transport themselves to various places in the universe, never knowing exactly where they would end up...

The first place they end up is on this weird surrealistic world. Cut to a video while they ponder what to do next...

This time they end up as mini duplicates in their own space ship!

They land in rock 'n' roll earthquake world where they shake and shimmy their asses off!

Race is an idiot, he lands them on the freakin' Sun!

The guys were drinking too much espresso and have to relieve themselves at the space latrine!

We also got a ton of submissions from The Church Of The Sub-Genius and their leader, Bob!

Then, there's our pal Al Perry doing his rendition of a famous cowboy tune, go Al...

This is from a little piece by Hermanos Guzanos called 'A Little Too Happy.'

A nice shot from the end of one of our shows...

Here at The Dungeon, it's all for fun, but, when something like this happens, we go a little berserk with rage. Trophy (fenced) hunting is nothing but pure evil, and, those wealthy bitch hunters would have us believe that God put all the animals here on Earth just for them to simply kill, skin, decapitate (boy, sounds a lot like what the Nazis did!) and mount their heads on plaques in their homes so they can beat their chests in admiration of their unearthly prowess, and to brag to their drunk friends about what such great ass holes they all are. Here's what I'd like... Take the doctor who killed Cecil, he needs to be thrown in a fenced jungle area and then be chased by a pack of wild hyenas! Now, that would be REAL poetic justice!!

WARTEZIMMER ZUM JENSEITS - Martin Böttcher - "Mark Of The Tortoise" (1964)

I'll probably still be doing lots of cartoons on Wednesdays for awhile, but for right now Saturday night is going to be about Sinister films and sinister people, and tonight's film "Mark Of The Tortoise" is a prefect freakin' example! 

Dingy, dark and dirty, those are three elements in film we enjoy, and that's something that German filmmakers are really good at! Oh, yeah, and dank too!

Time for a public service announcement! Drink, Drank, Drunk!  "DRINK DRIVE DEATH!" Just don't do it! Drink, stay home, and watch cool old movies instead!

So who is that reading Holiday magazine and listening to some cool tunes by the brilliant composer Martin Böttcher!?

None other than Dungeon hero Klaus Kinski again, this time as a washed up knife thrower in need of a job! If you listen to the sound clip, check out the voice they have dubbed in for Klaus, it's pretty ridiculous! Martin is not used in this film as much as I would like to hear, but what there is, is great! Here's a tasty morsel from this scene, and a bit more from the end! Do a search on the sidebar for Martin, and you can get a good handle on some of his massive library of achievements!

Here's a great twofer, Hildegard (The Lost Continent) Knef as sexy evil girlfriend Lorelli, and Carl (Death In The Red Jaguar) Lang as scarred henchman Crantor!! What a great pair! The knife in the wall was just thrown by Klaus in the dark to prove that his skills even improve a little when he's under the influence!

Hence the American title, "Mark Of The Tortoise!" Somebody had fun painting those tortoise shells!

Doing a door by door check for the killer turns out to be a pretty good gig for this bobby!

Richard Münch is The Boss! Richard had a long history of playing evil dudes, and he was in at least four Jerry Cotton flicks! He's pretty damn good at being bad!

Nice pad! This is the kind of locale that makes these type of flicks so enjoyable! If you need all kinds of CGI animation and stale gags, then this is not your kind of movie, but if you like cool pages out of history and tricky stories then this is a film you'll dig!

The Boss has a pretty damn advanced video surveillance system for back in the day!

And a herd of turtles to boot! Pretty suspicious!

Command Central!

The male lead character quasi-hero in this film is a guy named Götz (The Cat, The Swine, The Sandman) George, and I'm pleased to tell you that unlike a lot of names that come up around here, Götz is not only alive and kicking today, but is also filming a movie as we speak called "Böse Wetter!"

So when the Boss has machine guns built into his wheelchair and he kills his devoted employees without any sense of remorse, is it politically correct to call him a crippled little bitch? Personally, in this case, I think so!

Well, it was definitely The End for this poor bastard, and Sinister Cinema is the place to go if you have a hankering to know the whole story of why!

THE GATE / New Century Entertainment Corporation - 1987

Here's a flick that I saw on the USA Network back in the late eighties, it's all about two boys that accidentally release a horde of mean little pint-sized demons from a hole in their backyard and the epic battle against evil that ensues.

I've got a little sound clip for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button over by our weird hole in the ceiling, NOW, Rufus The Gnat!.. Here's a sample of... THE GATE!

Oh great!!.. These little jerks have dug a hole into the stinky old cesspool in the backyard!

Mom and dad are leaving for a few days so big sister is in charge. Mom tells them "no parties" so what's the first thing they do? Right... PAR-TEE!! Those are cans of beer, not soda!

In the meantime, the boys have found a large geode in the hole so they try and open it up to see what could possibly be inside... Whoa, purdy lites!

I just had to show this shot, the pursuit of beauty takes a lot of hard work!

Welp, the boys have unleashed the evil in the hole and one of them falls in only to be attacked by a pile of little demons from Heck!

Then, this zombo dude shows up! After he chases the boys around, he falls face first onto the floor only to break apart into many little hostile critters!

At the climax, the little things combine together to form the real evil, a giant wormish creature from Hell itself! After it grabs the boy, the boy's hand grows a cool looking eyeball... Wow, wish I had one of those!

After shaking it off, the boy figures out that his toy rocket can be used as a weapon... 3, 2, 1..

The rocket hits its mark and zing, bang, sizzle, kapow!!

Better run kid, the place is about to blow!! See you again tomorrow for more fun from the Dungeon Gang!